Why can't this guy take a rejection with grace?

An old acquaintance (we never met in person) contacted me via internet dating site as my profile came up as a match. He had no clue who I was but I spotted him right away and let him know about it.

He asked a few times about why am I single and I just brush it off as I thought it's really dumb question to ask.. After a few more emails he rememebered who I was and asked to catch up.

I then said to him I'm already in a situation and don't want to lead him on, I'm more than happy to catch up as friends.

Since then he disappeared. I thought I was polite enough to not "ghost on him" and still offer the friendship?

Updates:
After he thanked me for being upfront he asked how seriously is my relationship. He even said he is being very forward..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I can't see any rejections happening. "in a situation" yet still on a dating site shows you are looking to jump ship.

    Exchanging emails is giving him hope that may be he can upgrade to be your boyfriend or be your side guy.

    He is now asking how seriously it is and that really is supporting my point. If you want to give him a rejection you have to tell him that he is not your type or something along the ling.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • One never knows how these 'Behind the computer curtain" wing things will Go or even end Up... I thought I was polite enough to not "ghost on him..."
    He sounds like the kind of Fellow who is just Mellow and comes and goes like the wind, not really into a Real Relationship, not even 'Friendship'... Here Today and gone Tomorrow to Another lost soul, you could Say... I know his type.
    Good luck and More real Deal guys with better tries. xx

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    • He is now asking me how serious is my relationship. I guess he is not giving up lol anyway now that he knows we knew each other from back then. If anything was to happen it would have happen ages ago. He is very hopeful..

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    • Thanks :-)

    • @singlebee oh, so very welcome. xx

What Guys Said 7

  • You never met in person. That does not qualify you as "old friends." You rejected him and apparently he did not try to argue with you and he did not vent any anger on you. Instead, he moved on. It sounds to me like he took rejection with grace. He rejected your offer of "friendship" and you are upset. It sounds as if you aren't accepting his rejection with grace,

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    • Perhaps you should read the update before you accuse me of anything

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    • I didn't ended up insulting him, I ended up confronting him of trying to push the boundaries after I told him I have someone. he dismissed my confrontation and tried to put me down by calling me cute.

      I told him this is not cutting it and it only reminds me of why I stopped talking to him ages ago. Instead of apologizing for his disrespectful behavior he asked why did I stopped talking to him. I didn't respond and blocked him.

      I handle it the best way i could

    • Yes, it does sound like you handled a bad situation in the best way possible.

  • ... How did he not take the rejection with grace? Is he just suppose to be your friend even if that's not what he wants just because it's what you want?

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    • he could have thank me for not leading him on or something

    • XFD yeah he should have thanked you for rejecting him. He gracefully accept your rejection and wasn't interested in being frienzdoned.

    • Whatever, if you read it you know we had a history we are not completely strangers

  • Uuuuuhhhh uuuuummm cuz he's a little bitch! Lol

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  • Sounds pretty catty if you ask me.

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  • I would've been far more rude than he was, but you rejected him so you got what you deserved

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    • go ahead and read the update before you leave stupid comments

  • I was expecting a lot worse.

    While he doesn't get 100% marks for manners, slipping away quietly post rejection when you hadn't met is not too bad.

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  • Because thats the oldest trick in the book. There is no right or wrong way with this, you did it the way you thought was correct. Nothing wrong with that, although I would disappear as well. It is rejection at the end of it all really

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What Girls Said 3

  • Some people just take it to heart and literally do not want to put their time and effort into friendships when they're seeking someone to date.

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    • I get that, but he could at least be civil and leave a friendly reply. leaves the door open in case if later someone change their mind.

  • Friendship is the most overused offer and suggestion someone who has no intentions of any getting with you will say.
    I honestly wouldn't want to be a friend if that offer was extended to me.
    Do you know how many times someone who gets rejected gets asked to be a friend?
    He could have responded back but clearly he felt no obligation to since he decided at that moment he wanted nothing to do with you.

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    • if it's a complete stranger I would understand. anyway back in the days I always knew he had a crush on me and i could sense he got jealous whenever I'm talking about other guys.

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    • Ok well thats great then! Just a delayed response on his part.

    • yea I don't like hurting anyone, especially an old friend. Good to know he took it well.

  • Because he hurt.

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    • He was bugging me afterwards and still asking to meet up.. I had to block him

    • Oh well you got do you as well. Just move on.

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