Im not in love with him, what do I do?

i recently met this guy online, we've been talking about a month and have gone on about 5 dates so far.

He's REALLY into me, and i like him, i like to hang out with him, but im definitely not in love with him.

we don't have too much in common, and i thought that would get better with time, but we have a lot of the same conversations. I'd like to give him that kind of time but i also don't want to give him the wrong idea.

he's also really handsy, which I've talked to him about cause it can make me uncomfortable but it still happens.

he's making all these plans around me for Valentine's day (i know he's going to ask me to be his girlfriend) and the future and it's freaking me out because im not sure that's what i want.

i don't really know how to deal with breakups (especially since we're not technically dating), and it's kind of making me feel guilty that he's so much more into me.

what do i do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't have much in common, but have the same conversations. This can happen in the beginning of a courtship when at least one of the persons is very interested in the other. It is because the conversations revolve around the two of you. You are getting to know each other and hence there is a lot to talk about. You can have a good conversation with anyone so Long as the people are open to talking about themselves, their lives and/or asking about yours. But if you don't have much in common, with time these conversations will die out.

    To test if you have good conversation with a person, see if they go beyond you and him, and about other things in general...

    Anyway coming to your question, it is obvious that your feelings for him are at most Luke warm. You don't seem to be physically attracted to him either since you don't like his advances. I think in this situation it would be best to stop wasting each other's time and end things. It's ok, it is not a break up, like you said, cos you aren't boy Friend and Girlfriend. Just have a talk with him and explain that you don't see this progressing romantically, and tell him why. Better sooner than later, cos he seems to be getting more and more invested.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 5

  • Stop bring a wuss! Just tell him what you wrote "I enjoyed getting to know you, I just don't know what I need right now and I think its best we part ways" no friendship speech, quick and clean

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  • I think you should still see him for a bit if you would want that, but if he officially asks you to be his girlfriend, don't accept no matter what. It surely will disappoint him but it will break his heart even more if you date for some time only to tell him you don't love him at the end.

    I have a friend who dated a guy even though she did not love him and she devastated him when breaking up a few months later because he thought it was mutual when it was never the case. It's betrayal, in a way, if the love was never sincere. Always be honest.

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  • The beat thing is to nt waste your time or his. Make it a clean break up. No communication after that point. Because you have already set your mind that you aren't taking this relationship anywhere. And it's better to do it now than to get too caught up in the relationship. It's never easy but it's nicer and kinder to do.

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  • I think you need to be blesr about where you stand with him as soon as possible.
    Before he gets in toi deep with false expectations.

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  • Just tell him you will be travelling somewhere for Valentine's day so he doesn't get his hopes up or proposes. That should buy you some time. Later tell him the trip was cancelled. By this time you will probably have found a way to break it off. Obviously you don't love him. What's the use of continuing the relationship?
    Or do you still want to have some kind of connection with him?

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