I've only ever hooked up (I'm 5'7-180lbs, only people who tell me I'm pretty are friends/family/obviously sympathetic strangers) so I get I'm at the bottom of the dating pool. I'm attracted to real people because I know the super hot guys have hooked up with me - well because I am easy. I've had one real relationship and after two years of emotional abuse I got out and just had casual sex simply because I can't date! I don't understand it. I've tried putting myself out there on dating sites but noones biting and if they do they don't hang around long - sometimes no date is even planned. My standards thus far
- Attractive enough I can imagine kissing him without gagging
- Has a job and takes it seriously
- Has a car
I just don't understand how I can lower my standards anymore but (maybe my problem is being a mom?) I am so tired of being alone. There has to be something I'm doing wrong to chase these guys off. Hook-ups are easy. Dating I'm lost. I try to just be me, laugh, have some fun, be somewhat relaxed (again me). Or am I just broken?
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Single mothers seem to have it really tough. I don't why, but I'm a bit biased since I adore kids. The one time I dated one, I must admit that I fell in love with her daughter more than the mother. I ended up getting the Little Mermaid for her daughter's birthday, remembering how much my sister adored that film when she was about the same age. The daughter absolutely loved it and started bugging her Mom to get little mermaid toys. She ended up with a Little Mermaid lunchbox, backpack, outfit. I felt really happy and proud that I found a new favorite thing for this child.
It seems almost like a cruel joke that my wife and I can't have kids. As a result, we both have a lot of friends who are single mothers and sometimes voluntarily babysit their kids. It's a way for the single mother to kind of have some fun alone time, while we're also happy to hang out with their kids (I ended up getting all kinds of video games and things like that at the house and play them together with the kids: I like to kick their ass).
We have a number of female friends who are in this situation, and it seems to me like they can't really network very effectively. Their group of friends tend to be shallow, it's hard for them to meet a lot of people. There are always children to be taken care of at home, and they have to leave early, can't do those kinds of late adult nights with drinking involved.
Another odd thing is that at least of couple of such friends have dated what seem like the perfect guy on paper -- loves her kids, very successful, good career -- probably not the greatest in the bedroom though. And they ditch the guy for one who is very carefree, independent, doesn't care for the kids very much. One of my closest friends in this regard ditched what seemed like a perfect guy of this sort in favor of a jerk who ended up gambling away her children's birthday money while being sent on a shopping spree, leading to a break up but she still has feelings for him in spite of such irresponsibility.
I have this kind of impression (possibly just skewed and coincidental) that single mothers have a tendency to kind of be very vulnerable and clingy to all the wrong kinds of guys. This is putting it very bluntly, but it's almost like a guy with little reservation for a girl, but instead of "thinking with the dick", the single mom is kind of "thinking with her vag". That might just be coincidental based on the type of single moms I've befriended.
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