Why is texting so damn complicated?

My last date confronted me about our texting habits. She seemed like she was upset i didn't text her for a day but then went on to say that she didn't want texting to be an important part to our relationship and that we shouldn't make a big deal out of it. She did seem a little hurt though that i didn't get back to her for a day. What does all of this mean? Should i text her more anyways? She always responds quick. But i wanna seem like im not needy or desperate even though i already know she likes me anyways.

Updates:
this post didn't really go the way i expected lol. sall good bros

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well maybe some compromise. If you don't like texting make it a half and half thing. Call her sometimes and text her other times. In the beginning of a relationship that's when the most reassurance is needed for stability so not texting for a day could make her think you don't really like her or aren't as interested as you say. It won't come off as desperate or needy as you don't have to do it 24/7 but just as interest and mutual attraction.

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    • what if i dont text her for day but then call her the next day? will that be reassurance? or might she be upset that i didn't text her the day before?

      im just sick of being taken advantage of which is why i try to act disinterested, that way when she puts in some effort i know she's serious. this girl hasn't put in the interest, like she texts back right away but not first. she hasn't canceled any date, but i would like her to reach out to me first to reassure me.

      i realize some girls just dont text first

    • She might be doing the same thing your doing, which is causing some friction. Just talk to her about it, ask her why she doesn't text first. See where the conversation takes you. It will open up the line of communication. And by bringing it up now it'll show her dedication to you earlier which will be better for you in the long run which will let you know if she's really worth your time or not

Most Helpful Guy

  • just text her if you want to text her. don't try to force yourself to text her to appease her. fuck that shit.

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    • what if she's expecting it though?
      i fucking hate texting. i just prefer to call here and there

    • tell her that, maybe she will understand and be content with it.

What Girls Said 5

  • Texting doesn't show your needy, however I think she wants you to at least text her everyday I guess.. just not like a lot! But just through out the day.

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  • It shouldn't be!

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  • Respond to her more lol if she is upset that you didn't respond to her in a day, just start a message with her. She's probably upset because she feels that you don't initiate first or whatever. Nah man, doesn't come off as needy

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  • It seems that she likes when you text her everyday to see how she is or find out what she's doing, but don't forget that it's more important for you two to interact in person.

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  • Don't play the texting games on her. We know you're playing that game, and it backfires, because then we question if you really like us. Those type of games put us through a type of stress that makes us question if it's easier being alone.

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What Guys Said 8

  • You are both playing games about "I don't want to project the wrong image." When she texts you, she is (at least subconsciously) testing you. When you don't respond quickly, she feels that you are not treating her like she is very important. She doesn't want to seem like the kind of girl who tolerates being treated that way, so she gives you a ration of shit about it.

    If you feel a strong attachment to her, it's okay to tell her that she's important in your life. Think about it: don't you want to think that you are important in her life?

    I HATE texting in relationships for all but the most simple of communications, like "Don't forget that we need to be at my parent's by 7 PM." Anything more important, call and actually talk to her.

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  • "She seemed like she was upset i didn't text her for a day but then went on to say that she didn't want texting to be an important part to our relationship and that we shouldn't make a big deal out of it"

    Tell her to make her frigging mind up and let you know when she has.

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    • well thats the thing i dont think she wanted to say it upset her but she wanted me to know it did. its fucking annoying. if this is the case then I've done my part well. i like to be in charge and have the girl confused with my intentions that way i know its my choice and i dont have to wonder if she's into me or not. but maybe im an idiot

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    • i dont expect anything i just would like to see it. its not mandatory, and its kind of common sense that to stay friends with someone you keep in touch with them. with the person your dating its even more important

    • If this is all common sense, why did you need to ask this question?

  • Nah dude... It's not about desperation , that's little kid shit... Show her courtesy , if she's responding quick... Just respond as you see it... I get that she wants to keep texting to a minimum but that doesn't mean ignoring her texts... Cmon now... An hour MAX! HAHAHAHA and only if you have an excuse not to text her... Like your working or in the shower or your phone was on silent... lol... If she texts you just text her back... Keep it simple... Forget all of those games.. If she thinks your desperate for having common courtesy she isn't worth your time anyway..

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  • Humans communicate with each other more non verbally and the tone in verbal communication takes a good chunk of that aspect. That aside the younger generation and especially younger women (early twenties) are passive aggressive, which means sarcastic, as if that wasn't a problem enough as it is we now have to try to interpret sarcastic texts that are shorthand on top of all of that shit,

    I hope that helped.

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    • I'm sarcastic, but really only do it via text if the person knows me. It would be beneficial if someone created a sarcastic font for texting.

  • Quit the games. Be honest with her, reply when you have a chance and if you are busy with work/school or what ever else, then tell her you'll be busy for ### hours.

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    • i just havnt been texting her at all. im worried she expects it

    • Then text her saying you are sorry for acting a damn fool and proceed as I told you.

  • It's not really complicated
    Should u text the girl you are dating more than once a day? Of cause she already is unsure about you liking her back

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  • Because women will hate you whattever you type on it don't pay their game

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  • Texting is simple, people are complicated... and sometimes ridiculous.

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