I don't want a girl to get the pleasure of being my first girlfriend when I am not her first bf?

I am not a virgin sexually but I am a virgin by heart meaning I never been in any serious, exclusive relationships.

Am I justified to feel this way?

Updates:
There is a difference between love and sex people.

A girl could have sex without loving anyone before and I would be fine with that.

But if she had loved anyone there is a problem.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... no.

    She's tried to make things work with someone... she cared, that makes her unworthy? Would she be more worthy of she was sleeping around rather than have a relationship?

    At least that's how I feel about it. You either like someone or you don't.

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    • Just to add. I've dated, thought I was in love, and I'm only seeing now I've never actually been in love. As relationship doesn't even mean she's been in love.

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    • But let's say he becomes a great guy later in life and perfect boyfriend material... wouldn't it make it sweeter and more desirable that she dated him in her teens and shared two parts (teen and adult) of her life with him?

      She may see other people but she may never know the potential or what he may turn out to be since she is occupying her time seeing other people

    • She's not with him anymore. it didn't work out. She won't go back to him. Do you know why they broke up?

Most Helpful Guy

  • You've had sex with another girl, she's dated another boy. What exactly is unfair here? I think this is really petty but if anyone should feel disgust (which, in this case, nobody should) it should be her. I mean, you're demanding perfection but that's not what you're offering is it? It's okay to hope to get the better end of the deal but at the end of the day you don't have the right to demand more from her than you can give yourself.

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What Girls Said 6

  • No. You're a lunatic.

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    • I am a lunatic? How so?

      I already told you I never had an actual girlfriend before.

    • You're so overwhelmingly insecure, nothing I or anyone on here says is going to get you overcome that. The odds of you meetings by a virgin/never been loved girl and staying with her forever is incredibly unrealistic. The fact that a girl may have had previous relationships is only relevant in the sense that it didn't work out, she is now available to you. The only relevant fact is that she has a better idea of what she wants in a relationship, maybe it's you. But if you carry this insane ideal around that you don't want a girl to get the "pleasure" of being your first, you'll never get the benefit of her clearer mind who's still searching for her ideal man. I could go on and on but like I said earlier, your ridiculously insecure, lunatic mind isn't capable of absorbing reason.

  • That's pretty ridiculous and a very arbitrary way to severely restrict your dating options..

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    • Think of this too, a girl who has already experienced love in her high school years is ruined anyways. She has already experienced that innocent love where she can reflect upon and always have a soft spot for that teen boy she fell in love with years ago.

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    • He may not LEAVE you per say, but that doesn't mean deep down inside he knows there is a much favorable outcome and have more feelings towards another girl.

    • If it weren't for the unknown in life, outcomes might be much different. Again... if he knew it could be a much better love story to reunite with a childhood sweetheart down inside he may have more feelings towards her if he knew.

  • Can't help the way you feel I guess but it's unrealistic. I've never been in a 'proper' relationship either but I'd not turn someone down over that, seems silly and you could miss out on someone special.

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    • Thing is, a girl will always value her first love, especially if it is in her teens. That hurts.

  • virgin by heart?

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    • Meaning I never had a legitimate bond with a girl before. Never a serious, exclusive relationship.

  • Damaged goods!

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    • "Damaged goods" sexually, but I never had an actual girlfriend. Never a girl to call mine.

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    • She was with him 2 years and 2 months. She knows exactly how long it has been.

      I am pretty sure she would be married to him by now if it wasn't for the misunderstanding that happened between them.

    • Well, if you can't look past that, there's not much else to do but to move on.

  • I mean... you're already used goods so... I don't really see how much ground you have to stand on.

    Sorry.

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    • Sexually, yes I have had SEX

      Emotionally, I never had a serious bond with a girl before

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    • Makes me worse? No that makes HER worse. She will always have feelings for another guy in at least some way

    • And you will always have a used dick.

What Guys Said 12

  • No, not justified. You're just being a hypocrite.

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  • Hahahahaa I wish you good luck hahahahaaa "Hey girl, I've had sex but I won't date you if you've ever liked someone before." :'D

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  • That's just a nutty attitude.

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  • I used to think that way. But then I realized how dumb a mindset that is. It would be very sexy to be a girl's first boyfriend, but it wouldn't completely disgust me if I wasn't.

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  • Gl with life

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  • No, that doesn't seem logical. I get if you're insecure about it, but not dating her solely because of the difference in # of relationships seems silly.
    I will add that I don't think this is uncommon, since guys tend to initiate.

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  • What? The pleasure is all yours.. You are going to understand love for he very first time.

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  • I don't no about justified but you feel how you feel and nothing I say will change that.

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  • Yup.

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  • I've don't feel that way even though I've never been in a relationship either.

    I think you're putting too much value on relationships

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  • I don't know man... That's asking a lot...

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  • No.

    It's not a pleasure to date someone who doesn't know how to be in a relationship. It's an annoyance.

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