I don't feel the same thing towards him anymore. Should I break up with him?

In earlier stages of dating I used to miss him and feel that excitment when he was coming to see me. Now I think that's very diminished. I don't know why exactly, but I guess the honeymoon period of the relationship is over. We are more and more comfortable with each other like old friends, but there are things that bother me: -I am older than him (3 years) and I know he doesn't want to get married in the near future. - I discovered after almost 2 months after dating that he often gets broke. He told me, and I tried to pretend to myself that it'OK, but I don't think it is. I don't want a rich guy at all, but I grew up in a place where the man is the provider, so I feel I don't respect him as I used to. Do you think I should break up with him, though I like him? Please no judgmental comments


What Guys Said 2

  • If you want to get married, have children, get a home, you might need to find someone a bit more stable, especially if your feelings for him have diminished.

    Just kind of a FYI/reminder (you probably already know this), but marriage isn't a smart move to "declare love". It's smart if you two want a shared income, tax reduction, invest in a long-term home, and possibly have children.

    In your scenario, that might mean the shared income means he benefits most from it. That said, that kind of house husband dynamic is kind of interesting, but in your case, the guy isn't at all interested in marriage, and you're probably not at all interested in a house husband.

    • As for the idea of the honeymoon phase, it doesn't last forever (would be amazing if it did). At some point you two will know each and every inch of each other's body, and like body, also the mind, thinking patterns. You two will become quite predictable to each other, and that predictability will kind of make things somewhat bland. Yet the enduring quality is if that predictability itself is something you take great comfort in, love endlessly. The predictability will last. The spontaneity and wild adventures generally won't, though they'll come about from time to time when one of you goes out of the way to do something very unexpected.

  • It's certainly an option, especially in consideration of the fact that you no longer hold him in high esteem as a result of his problematic financial position and preferable time to marry.

    Equally alarming, perhaps, is the fact that after dating him for a reasonable amount of time (I assume, since the relationship is past the honeymoon phase) the extent of your feelings for him is... perhaps summed up best in your last question. .."I like him, though."

    In the end, if you are willing to date and accept him regardless of the things he presently cannot provide or is unwilling to, then, perhaps remaining put would be favorable to you. Otherwise, remaining with him, in the current state, may be a disservice to you both.


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