Why do men face get fat or bloated when they get in serious relationships?

I notice men let themselves go when they get in a relationship. They don't go to the gym anymore or keep their facial hair in shape. I'm afraid that when I get in a relationship with a guy he'll let himself go. How can I let a guy know that I still want him to look as good as he looked when we first met without hurting his feelings.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • They get in a comfortable rut, and let themselves go. Maybe drink more beer, not exercise enough, eat more fast food... it varies.

    You can try positive motivation. If you can do couple exercises together and eat right together, that should help.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Maybe because many men get what they want and then they relax. Personally I think that it shouldn't happen, being fat sucks and I know it because I was once fat. In a relationship or not, I'll never be fat again.

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  • I'd worry more about yourself. The same applies to women. Take care of yourself and I bet he follows suit.

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  • I've heard its usually women who gain weight in a new relationship and then lose it when they are single.

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    • thats only bc men seem to feel more entitled to the woman not changing therefore complain about it loudly... but it can happen to any sex.

  • relationship gut

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  • Then you have to work out with him and maintain a high degree of sexual appeal as well and not let yourself go. That means, eat right, stay hydrated, get lots of sleep, exercise, and avoid stress (and drama).

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  • Cause we got em already no need to impress anymore :P
    Also, would you rather us spend our time at the gym or with you? ;P

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    • doesn't give to be gym. you can hike together swim together play basketball etc and most important, don't eat more food the you need to maintain a lean weight. plus alone time is fine. if thats the only way you can keep from getting fat then go alone to the gym.

    • My boyfriend and I just go to the gym together... then we shower together after the gym it's a win win situation lol

  • lool it´s not like girls don´t do the same thing. most gain waight and become fat as soon as they´re not single anymore. i guess you´d have to work together to stay sexy for each other.

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  • This happens to women more than men

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  • They found someone to bang, so why bother?

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  • Women let themselves go too. It's a human thing.

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  • English much?

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  • Same with women though.

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  • only players dont get fat and bloated

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  • Women do this too.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I'd grab him and force him to go to the gym with me. I just checked my terms and policies book and this just doesn't work OP

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  • Well, you could always do what I do, and just make all the food for the week when he isn't feeling up to it... precise cals/fat/pro/carb, parceled out neatly into Snapware containers, in the fridge, boom! good to go for next 7 calendar days. It's about 5-10 minutes extra time, over and above the ≈1hr that I need to make my own and the kids' food for the week.

    The boy's perfectly capable of running his own nutrition program, of course -- he was a stage performer with ≈8% bodyfat when I met him -- but, he likes when wifey does it from time to time. Aww, how traditional. LOL

    He's still got pretty much exactly the same body, 16 years later. Wifey ain't gna let that slip, oh helllll no. <3

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  • preach.

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  • Not all men do this (thankfully) I suppose though they're comfortable, and feel as if they don't need to- initially if someone does this they weren't working out or keeping their maintenance for themselves but other people.

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  • Just don't pick a gamer for a boyfriend

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  • #Dadbod lol
    Seriously though just encourage him to come to the gym with you, and start exploring an active hobby like rock climbing!

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  • Yes, I've experienced this as well. I've gained 4kgs/8lbs and he's gained 20kgs/44lbs in the 4yrs we've been together.

    I used to have an issue with it but now I just don't care.
    I think what happens is some people gain weight easily (he's an endomorph), they may not go out as often, there is a lot more cooked meals and for eg when I can't finish my meal he does for me. Complacency, convenience of meals and possibly boredom/depression.

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  • They get complacent and lazy, I'm not sure thst you can actually stop this happening

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  • Suggest going to the gym togheter or go hiking, make an effort to be active and eat healthy

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  • To trap you in a relationship and feed you up so you're the same.

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  • I think there are a lot of reasons this happens. One of them could be that they let themselves go. But other reasons could be that they are just getting older.

    I've noticed a lot of guys who I went to high school with, are now (I'm 26) not as attractive as they used to be. Not trying to be mean. But it's kind of neat to see how people age. Some of these guys bullied me for being fat and ugly. So I guess maybe I'm a bit of a jerk, but I get a bit of pleasure knowing they now know what it feels like to not be the most attractive person.

    I think when it comes down to it. People age. People go through changes. When you meet someone and fall in love, you no longer have to worry about attracting everyone and anyone.

    Now all you have to worry about is being happy and going out with your friends, A lot of times when people settle down. They have kids, so much of their fun time is just watching movies at home and eating. That might also have a lot ot do with it too.

    But also, when you approach your thirties, people start to have a less effective metabolism. Plus if they were heavy drinkers, it starts to catch up with them.

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  • Oh yeah!

    Guys usually gain more weight, unless she has kids. Once they're getting laid easily, they stop caring.

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  • Because the time they used to spend at the gym is used to hang out with you?
    If you don't want him to lose his looks, you need to be ok with spending as much or little time with him as his girlfriend than you did when you were just dating him.

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    • you don't burn that much at the gym unless you're there for hours. its mostly about toning and heart health and keeping metabolism up which its only beneficial if you stay active out of the gum. the main problem is eating and drinking. a person can not gain weight without exercise though thats not recommended,. point is its what you eat that matters. You have to not eat more than you need. and as he never complained about him going to the gum. plays there's always athletic things done in pairs, if time is scarce.

    • @Azara The gym thing is what she said. I only offered a likely explanation why he's not going to the gym anymore.

    • This is exactly right. A person working a full-time job with some kind of commute probably has 2 hours a day during the week to himself - not counting morning routine, going to work, work time, commute home, dinner/chores, and sleep. A single guy probably spent a significant amount of those 2 hours at the gym or playing basketball or whatever, which kept him fit and helped him be attractive to women.

      But, now, his girlfriend wants and expects him to spend that time with HER. Because, in her mind, she's only asking for a "mere 2 hours a day of his time." She's not realizing that those 2 hours are his ONLY time to himself, and if he's spending them with her, then there's no time for working out unless they work out together.

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