Should a 19 year old date a 34 year old?

I'm 19 and I work with a 34 year old (he's a manger of a different department). I've always had a huge crush on him so I got his number. He asked me out on a date yesterday and I said yes. I have a two year old and he has never been married or had any kids. Is it weird to be going out with someone so much older or is it okay since I'm a mom so I'm not like the average 19 year old?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's fine. Its just a date. It isn't like you have to marry him. Even if things don't work out, you can still enjoy dating different kinds of people. In fact dating different types of people, help us learn what we like and don't like in a partner. Later on that can even help us appreciate the kind of partner we do end up with. Go out and have a good time, and don't over think it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. The difference in your maturity levels is a huge issue, but the main problem is that he's a MANAGER. He is very likely violating company policy and you could both get fired.

    This is like Monica Lewinsky asking if it's ok to date Bill Clinton. He's taking advantage of your naivete and your desire to be with an older man. I really think that for both of your protection you should not go out. Most likely, he sees you as an easy lay. Men are very good at taking advantage of young women's desire to feel needed and loved. If you've already got a child, clearly he knows you're sexually available and that you're not in a long term commitment, which means that likely you're hurt and vulnerable from a prior relationship in which you were abandoned.

    Have you really sat down and thought about why you are attracted to him? Is it really because of his personality, or is it because a deep part of you needs to feel protected by a father figure or a husband? Why is it that you are raising a two year old alone? This means you got pregnant at 17 and you probably still have some stuff to work through because of that. What is your relationship to your child's father? If you around? How will he feel about a much older man being around his son or daughter?

    Also, older men often abuse the young children of their girlfriends. It's a story that gets told over and over. What if you get pregnant with him, too? Do you think he'll marry you? Do you think he'll adopt your child and treat him or her same as he does his own child? What are his motives for being involved with you? If he is such a wonderful man, what is it about him that have kept him from being in a relationship with someone his own age?

    Please be very, very careful and guard your and your child's safety and happiness.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I once dated a girl that was 11 years younger and I loved her with all my heart. I still miss her from time to time. Our major problem, I think, was her immaturity. But, since you're a mom, you've probably had to grow up much quicker than most people your age and you're probably more ready to settle down.

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  • To be honest, no it's not good to do so, because the age difference is just too much and plus you are still a teenager and so there will be huge difference in your thought process and his thought process and also his maturity will be much more than yours, I mean that will be my guess.

    Hence it's not suggested, but it's your life so it's your choice.

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  • Yeah, if thats what you want then go for it. Lifes too short to care about what society will judge us or if its wrong or right. You like him, he likes you, i hope it works out for you.

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  • do what you want, its your life. are any of our opinions really going to affect your decision?

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  • You're old enough to make your own decisions

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  • Nope you should not most likely... you fall into a category in case you dont know. The category of a young girl wanting to date her boss or manager, either way some dude that is above you and is older.

    Most likely he doesn't want to marry you.. most men do not want to adopt children that are not there's unless the feelings are very intense. So that leaves you with a sexual casual relationship, most likely

    If thats what you want, go ahead

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  • Id say avoid him, if oyu need to ask internet stranger something like this you have an issue with it. let the guy have a chance with a girl who doesn't see age as a barrier.

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  • Why not

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  • As long as you guys have things in common and things to talk about it doesn't matter. He's going to know a lot more and most guys your age. And probably has more going for him

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  • sure why not

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  • No it's absolutely fine lol

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  • its not illegal and i have heard of worst things..15 years.. yeah its ok

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  • I KNOW WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR AND I HOPE HE NOTICES LOL WOMEN

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  • Not that big a deal

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  • MONEY CHASER LOL WOMEN SO BASIC

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  • It's okay if that's what both of you want. It's completely ok

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  • No 19 is to young to start dating a man that age and there's a chance he's a total creep.

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  • It's definitely not weird. That age gap isn't unheard of these days.

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  • she shouldn't but i hope for dumb girls like that when i'm older!

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What Girls Said 14

  • I suppose you're right in saying that, as a mom to a 2-year old, you're not the average 19-year old girl.

    Having said that, though, doesn't mean that dating someone who is 15 years your senior is something that should be taken lightly. Fifteen years is a large age gap, regardless of between what ages. Especially between you two, he's nearing the time when he should probably be looking to settle down both in terms of his career, as well as in respect to his romantic life. You, on the other hand, are kind of just beginning your life as an adult. You could date around a bit, see what kind of guy would be the perfect fit for you. Get your foot in the door in terms of what field you'd like to explore and stay in in terms of careers.

    You're in the stage where the world is your oyster, and opportunities are pretty open to you. Though 34 is not that old, he's past the stage of figuring out what works best for him and what he wants from life. Differing in those ways may lead to some conflict between you two, but you're the one who's going to make the final call in the end.

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  • If you guys connect and have similar interests/maturity then there is no problem. You're both old enough to consent obviously and make your own decisions. If it works out great, if not then that sucks but that's how all relationships are

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  • When I just turned 19 I started dating a 34 year old. I am about to turn 21 and he is 36 and we're still dating (longest I've ever consistently gone out with a guy). He's great and the age thing has pretty much never been an issue.

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  • If you have to ask you already know the answer is no.

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  • Yeah if your both legal!

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  • Absolutely not.

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  • Depends if he can provide for your family.

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  • It is quite an age gap but I see no reason why it couldn't work. I have always believed as long as they cannot legally be your father then it's all ok.

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  • Do what you want but its a little weird with the age gap

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  • Ehh sounds messy.
    Almost 40 without kids or divorce... If he's never been engaged I'd wonder why but not stick around long enough to find out
    It's a RED FLAG

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  • Very weird

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  • Um.. How about no?

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  • Both of legal age, do what you want to do.

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  • It's still weird.

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