I'm 19 and I work with a 34 year old (he's a manger of a different department). I've always had a huge crush on him so I got his number. He asked me out on a date yesterday and I said yes. I have a two year old and he has never been married or had any kids. Is it weird to be going out with someone so much older or is it okay since I'm a mom so I'm not like the average 19 year old?
Most Helpful Guy
It's fine. Its just a date. It isn't like you have to marry him. Even if things don't work out, you can still enjoy dating different kinds of people. In fact dating different types of people, help us learn what we like and don't like in a partner. Later on that can even help us appreciate the kind of partner we do end up with. Go out and have a good time, and don't over think it.1
Most Helpful Girl
No. The difference in your maturity levels is a huge issue, but the main problem is that he's a MANAGER. He is very likely violating company policy and you could both get fired.
This is like Monica Lewinsky asking if it's ok to date Bill Clinton. He's taking advantage of your naivete and your desire to be with an older man. I really think that for both of your protection you should not go out. Most likely, he sees you as an easy lay. Men are very good at taking advantage of young women's desire to feel needed and loved. If you've already got a child, clearly he knows you're sexually available and that you're not in a long term commitment, which means that likely you're hurt and vulnerable from a prior relationship in which you were abandoned.
Have you really sat down and thought about why you are attracted to him? Is it really because of his personality, or is it because a deep part of you needs to feel protected by a father figure or a husband? Why is it that you are raising a two year old alone? This means you got pregnant at 17 and you probably still have some stuff to work through because of that. What is your relationship to your child's father? If you around? How will he feel about a much older man being around his son or daughter?
Also, older men often abuse the young children of their girlfriends. It's a story that gets told over and over. What if you get pregnant with him, too? Do you think he'll marry you? Do you think he'll adopt your child and treat him or her same as he does his own child? What are his motives for being involved with you? If he is such a wonderful man, what is it about him that have kept him from being in a relationship with someone his own age?
Please be very, very careful and guard your and your child's safety and happiness.1