Does she want me as her boyfriend or sugar daddy?

I am 41 and she is 26 with a ten year old boy. She works as a bartender which is how we met. She gives me long eye contact stares and smiles a lot at me up close. She often touches my hands at the bar and the physical contact has increased as well as the closeness like long 30 second hugs when I tell her I'm going home. She hints that she wants to drink at work which her boss allows but she's not allowed to buy her own drinks. I tell her that I'll buy them for her but she chooses the expensive drinks. I asked her to take a selfie with me but she said only if I don't post the pic on Facebook or show it around. She insists that she doesn't have a boyfriend or is seeing anyone else. We are supposed to go out next week but now I'm not sure. I don't know how to ask her or bring it up?

I went back to the bar to see her again but this time the long eye contact was gone and so was all the hand touching. She did ask me if her tight pants looked good on her and turned around to show me her butt but that was about it for the night. I barely got a full hug from her as I said goodbye so I guess whatever I thought we had was all in my head and all she wanted was my money.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If u are giving money than yes.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Proceed but with your eyes wide open. Her intentions will become apparent in a few weeks/months.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She wants to use you for your money. Stay away, especially since she has a child. She obviously made poor choices in her partner and is looking for someone to help keep her lights on.

    • She lives at home with her parents and I only tip her 3 or 5 dollars and she doesn't seem to mind

    • She doesn't sound like she's doing too good in life. I still say stay away. I also saw that you mentioned she 'needs' to flirt with customers for tips. Don't listen to that, no one needs to do something like that for money and if you were dating her that would be disrespectful to your relationship. She's 26 with a 10 year old boy and lives at home w/ her parents working as a bartender. That means she got pregnant at 16 and didn't obtain a higher level of education. If you're already established in your life I'd definitely say stay away from her. All she can do is mooch off of you.

  • Bartenders are supposed to flirt, that's how they make their money...

    • She brought up that she has to flirt with customers in order to get tips when we spoke yesterday so I wouldn't think of her as a floozie... at least that's what she told me

What Guys Said 2

  • "She hints that she wants to drink at work which her boss allows but she can't buy her own drinks."

    The reason for this is, she is compensated a percentage of the sale. Hence the reason she selects the most expensive drink.

    For example, her employer benefits her a discount. She verbally charges you the full price of the drink you purchase for her. Subsequently, she enters her discount code in the bar's P. O. D system to assess the discounted price for the drink (which goes to her employer), then, she pockets the surplus. Thus, she's made say, five, six, or seven dollars on the drink you bought her, and a tip in one transaction.

    "Does she want me to be her boyfriend or sugar daddy?"


    Have you displayed a lot sugar in her presence or given her the impression that you're doing well?

    Considering that she selected expensive drinks when you offered to buy, it would be reasonable for you to be leery of her intent.

  • 26 - ten year old boy
    you - 41

    Yep, that's why when I'm in my late thirties and on up, if I make it that far, I will not even settle for a woman my age OR a woman in her twenties.

    I'm alone for life, two kids I suppose, but I will never be able to raise them so there is no point to damage myself emotionally by repeated exposure every so often for a few hours a year.

    Available women are problematic, the good ones are in relationships or married.