I'm dating a married guy and I need some advice?

He's married and twice my age, he awhile ago told me that he feels like he's being used for sex. I just never know what he thinks of me or of our relationship, I tried to break it off multiple times but it didn't work and I don't see it ending any time soon. Anyways what I'm asking is that is there any way that I can't get him to open up a bit or how we can communicate better? Thanks for taking the time to read this :)


0|0
16|12

Most Helpful Guy

  • Dump him. Everyone will be hurt by this, and no one will benefit. I speak from experience.

    3|2
    0|0
    • You're the nicest person so far :) thank you

    • It's hard, in the moment, to givenup on love. You two probably do have some love for each other, but the problem is that that lovebis not enough. End this as quickly and cleanly as you can for everyone's sake.

      Good luck!

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... you're the one being used for sex. You do realize that there's nothing more to what you two share than that, right? He's probably fucking you on the side because he's a real piece of scum who wouldn't turn down a chance to sleep with a girl who's roughly half his wife's age. Not that you're much better though...

    Why would you want him to open up to communicate better? What would you hope to achieve through that, communicate about what?

    3|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 11

  • I'll try and stay away from personal attacks, but I'll say this: Breaking off would be the best choice. I say this because there is...
    1.) There is a very good chance indeed he is just using you for sex. Most side affairs like this don't exactly have pure intentions. If he really wanted to be with you instead, he could always divorce his current wife and marry you instead. Instead, he is cheating. A guy in this situation isn't supposed to have two people.
    2.) Drama. Sooner or later, this will be found out... Because I'm guessing he didn't just straight up tell his wife he was sleeping with another person. When she does find out, this will create a ton of drama between you and the family. You will be hated by them. The kids will be traumatized (if there are kids) and will have a possibility of having issues. If you leave now, just maybe he'll be able to salvage the ship with his wife. If the wife finds out though herself, a whole mess of trouble will happen... And there is a good chance this would kill any relationship you had with him anyway.
    3.) Morals. Even if you don't care about morals, many other people do. And, if they ever find out about you having an affair, you will be called all sorts of awful names (case in point: opinions on the question). You will be incredibly judged. By leaving now, it will show you took initiative at least to stop it.

    You can ALWAYS break off a relationship. You just have to want to. You just need to realize that this affair will only cause more issues than fix them.

    Asking him to open up probably won't really happen. Why? Because he is treating you as an affair. People don't really open up to affairs. It is probably more so for sex.
    It is like a friends with benefits in a sense. The point of "FWBs" is basically sex with no strings or romantic involvment. While you may be feeling romantic involvement towards him, to be blunt: There is a strong chance he does not.

    1|1
    0|0
  • You have to realize you're with a man who made an oath to love and remain faithful to his wife until death, only to then go behind her back. You can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth.

    It is tempting to feel very special in these cases, and you may indeed be special, but in that case you don't need to degrade yourself to being in the middle of this affair. There are plenty of unmarried, single men out there who might also see you as special.

    Mostly I think you need to have some respect for yourself and not fall for someone who cheats and manipulates, and he will be manipulating everything (just imagine all the things he has to lie about when he comes home to his family).

    With that caveat aside, if you want to pursue this, a reasonable way that can make any man open up to you is to snuggle up and gently talk. I'd save this knowledge though for a guy who isn't so prone to break his word.

    1|0
    0|0
  • When you are older and have children, do you want them to know about this part of your life? Have some pride in yourself!

    1|1
    0|0
    • I don't think I'll have a problem with if I ever do have children, I'll tell them the whole truth.

    • You are either a different species or you are a troll.

    • Thanks :)

  • You have to realize that this isn't going to work. Sooner or later he'll be forced to cut ties with you. On Valentine's day, Christmas, holidays, etc. he's going to be with his wife and family. And you'll be alone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I admire his skills. He's smooth. He doesn't really give a damn.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well, of course, his cheating on his wife, especially if they have kids, is repugnant and he's slime.

    • That's nice

    • It was a line that he feed you to keep you around. It's called manipulating a women's emotions.

  • Some of the women have stated that he is using you for sex, they are right. And you are destroying a household and he is breaking a vow to his wife. He will never be available to you 100%, just think of it this way, he goes home to another woman, not you. Stop doing what you are doing and find someone single.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Communication, I doubt it. You're the side girl. He only needs you for sex.

    2|0
    0|0
  • We can all say break it off or end it.
    But she's hook on this guy weather it's the sex or just him being an older man.

    0|0
    0|0
  • hun your the side chick play your part
    shut up and be the side chick and don't talk
    lol women

    0|0
    0|0
  • you want my advice on how to keep wrecking a family? die in hell ho!

    1|0
    0|0
  • He feels like HE'S being used for sex? By you? Or you feel like YOU'RE being used for sex? At any rate how often do you have sex in a typical week? And what else do you do together?

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 15

  • There's no point in investing in communication. Get out of the relationship. Tell him you're done and then block him. He needs to work out his own marital issues.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Uh...

    1|1
    0|0
  • Hahahaha 😂. He doesn't think anything of it that's the thing. You're the new shiny play thing and he's gonna get bored or if the wife finds out he'll drop you bc you're not his wife. Then he'll move on to the next. On the off chance he divorced his wife you'd have to deal with the same 'lose em how you get em' saying.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Advice: "Don't date a married guy."

    0|1
    0|0
  • There's no 'relationship', you're just a girl he uses for sex. Break off all contact with him before this escalates into something terrible.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Advice? Stop dating a married guy... wtf?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Do you believe in karma? Because you will get yours ten folds. respect yourself and stop being a side chick.. smh

    0|0
    0|0
  • Are you proud of sleeping with a married man? Wow.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Just cut off all communication!

    0|0
    0|0
  • More trouble coming.

    0|0
    0|0
  • dont.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Leave it alone.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Troll... if this were real you'd have more info and chances are you wouldn't sound so stupid. You knew cheating questions always get a lot of attention.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Agreed with the commenters, please break it off. you're only hurting people. Don't be the "other woman".

    0|0
    0|0
  • Wow... You're a homewrecker, congratulations.

    0|2
    0|0
Loading...