How can I handle this?

I live with my mother and sister. I am 23, but i dont make enough to support myself yet. My mother is really depressed and a bit of a narcissist, she never wants to put effort into anything, she does cook and clean but all she does is sleep in her bed or couch and acts like an extreme bitch (controlling, no privacy and asks for money). She doesn't want to work or after 28 years put in the effort to read the language properly (we are foreign) so i have to read her letters. My older sis of 29 is just plain crazy and extremely depressed. Living with them has drained my energy, now all i want to is sleep and stay in bed. Im in school and almst finished and i just wanted that paper so that i will make enough money to support myself. I have been horrible to other people just because of the stressful situation, i pushed away a guy that i liked because i was so focused on surviving each day. How can i handle this situation better without losing myself?


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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all, you can't change them so what they do or not do is not really your concern. You don't have responsibility for them. That said, the problem is how to endure an unhealthy household until you can afford to leave it. One obvious step is to spend as little time there as necessary. Create legitimate excuses to be elsewhere as much as possible. If your absence creates more stress with family, do at least some outside activities that benefit them. If you had a part-time, low stress job that gave you time to study, it would be less exhausting that sleeping at home during waking hours. Even a small amount of income would get them off your backs some. Otherwise, a fulfilling volunteer position might help. Use official reasons for being gone all the time to hide the real reasons.

    As for a social life, I suggest making clear to others that while you are unavailable now, this condition is only temporary.

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