WHEN should a women pay for the date?

Women seem to believe that men should pay for the first ten dates.

  • first date
    19% (13)33% (17)25% (30)Vote
  • second date
    43% (29)22% (11)34% (40)Vote
  • third date
    15% (10)20% (10)17% (20)Vote
  • fourth date +
    23% (15)25% (13)24% (28)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • when she invited him out. if it's the 1st, 3rd, or 11th date. doesn't matter. u invite, u pay.

    i don't get why guys get so worked up over this. like come on people. u gonna let money get in the way?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am very old fashioned. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months and the only date she ever paid for is when she took me out for my birthday.

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What Girls Said 36

  • Lol answer options. Where's the "whenever it works for the two people involved" button?

    The only rule that counts is: If there is resentment, something's wrong. If there isn't, nothing's wrong.

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    • Beyond that, there's the common sense rule: if one person makes way more than the other, that person should be paying more of the freight.

      Because, well, duh.

      Also, because it would suck to be restricted to only those things that the lesser-earning party could cover 50% of.

  • I just believe the bill should be split. Or they take turns paying.

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  • i don't think anyone should ay for anything. it seems do transactional and not at all what i want to be thinking about when getting to know someone. just pay for what you get. its simplest. in my opinion. and even with the best intentioned, there is always a higher risk of resentment if things don't go well, for whoever pays, bc they feel they made an invest, eat and got nothing in return. so just say your way and enjoy the company without complicating things. i don't think money should be part of why I'm with someone, or why he's with me.. as long as he or i am not paying, then there's no confusion as to whether it is the reason. i don't like extravagance when getting to know someone. i like to keep things down to earth,. so we can know if we actually like each other or just the thrill of the date. in the beginning i prefer things that don't even civet money. tale advantage of what the world has to offer. thats my preference. I'm really not into capitalism dating. .. though that often seems to be the purpose behind dating for most. its an industry unto itself. which i avoid like the plague. i can't think ion anything less romantic than being turned into a commodity. or turning your interest into one.

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  • I honestly think that the woman can offer to pay anytime.

    I usually let the guy pay for the first date. But after that I often offer. Sometimes I'll offer on the first date just to see what he does. I hate to call it a test, but it does feel nice when a guy takes initiative.

    If the guy refuses to pay and I pay, okay no big deal. But why isn't he at least offering to pay his half? Is he going to try and use me for money? (it's happened to me before).

    I try to keep it even or at least fair. I don't just assume a guy will pay for me. And I try to return the favour for him too.

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    • "I hate to call it a test, but it does feel nice when a guy takes initiative."- This is exactly why men seem to always take you offering as a test.

      "Is he going to try and use me for money?"- That is the same question that men ask.

  • I really don't have a preference. I have only dated one guy who didn't pay. FOR ANYTHING. Well, he finally did after I broke up with him. Any other time I have been on a date or in a relationship, the guy has always paid, never allowing me to give money, split the bill, or even pay for the next date. I won't argue! Haha. I just don't expect it.

    I usually end up spending money on the guy I'm dating when I find something that I think he would like. Not really to compensate, but because I appreciate him.

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  • I like a guy to pay for the first date. It's not a requirement, but I consider it to be a romantic gesture. But after that, I want to either split everything or trade off paying. If he pays for the first, then I pay for the second, and he pays for the third, etc, that works well for me.

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  • Depends on how the first date went and if they like each other. If the first date went horribly, I could see the guy thinking "this date was horrible, I don't even like the girl, I don't want to pay for her" but I could simultaneously see the girl thinking "this date was horrible, a waste of my time, and I have to pay?". Assuming the date went well, I guess it just depends on the two people's situation. Some girls are uncomfortable letting a guy pay for them. Some guys are uncomfortable letting the girl pay.

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  • I'd pay for myself and he can do the same. I don't set a date that I'd start paying for him. I wouldn't do that unless I was taking him out for his birthday or something like that or we are serious. Like I'm in love with him then I'd pay sometimes. I don't think anyone should waste their money on someone for something that might not be going anywhere.

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  • Does it have to be a specific date? How about if I plan the date, I pay for it and if the guy plans it he pays.

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  • Man I'll pay for the date if it such a big deal! I mean I just think old fashion when guys are polite to pay. But if were a couple than I guess we can decide to make homemade dates or something.

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  • After a relationship is established, I think it's nice to switch who pays. But instead of the awkward moment when the bill comes, I'll initiate before dinner. Like "can I take you out to dinner tonight?"

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    • Agreed. Only when a relationship is established though. Even still, I feel weird about paying for a man in a restaurant. There's something... emasculating almost in me doing that.

    • @Araya that's why you ask ahead of time so its all out in the open and he has the chance to agree or decline.

  • It doesn't matter when, if one person pays one time the other should get it the next time. Or the two should split it evenly.

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  • If she asked him out, then she should offer and I think in general she should offer and not assume. I think it's kind of nice if the guy asked her out, to pay for the first date and maybe second. I'm pro going dutch as well and think by the third she should cover it.

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  • I'd say she should at least pay something towards the first date, if not half of the bill.

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  • One gender shouldn't necessarily always pay. Just decide for yourselves who should pay.

    I don't mind paying for the first date at all, and this notion that "guys should always pay" or "guys should always pay for the first date" is incredibly sexist and outdated.

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  • i'd pay for second date..

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  • First ten dates? Where have you heard that. I offer to pay on the first expecting him to say no then anytime after that I expect him to let me pay if I want to. A women who works hard for her money doesn't care about how many dates its bee. I'm proud of my work and don't mind spoiling my man too.

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  • When she asks the guy out. Or they could take turns. I'm probably more old fashioned in this way. I have no problem letting the guy pay but I realize times have changed. If I had to date again I'd be a fish out of water lol.

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  • First if she is the one who asks him out. Otherwise second or third they should start taking turns.

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  • I believe that whoever asks should pay. And if the wo/man wants to split or pay instead of the original asker, they should speak up.

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  • I'll always offer money and if he doesn't let me get it, I'll either give him money to half it or I'll pay the next time.

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  • Every other date. I do it with my friends.

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  • whatever seems organic to the couple honestly. splitting just sounds annoying and awkward, i'd rather every other date regardless of if it ends up even or not. it just comes across as nicer and less about achieving equality.

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  • If my date pays when we go out, I usually pay on the next one. Or if it's the first date I would split the bill.

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  • I always pay for myself. I'll decline his offer to pay first if he does, and pay for myself. If he insists though, I'll let him

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  • Whenever it's decided. I'd rather go Dutch rather than leaving it all on the guy, but it depends on the both of them I guess.

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  • Alternate after the first date

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  • I'd say they should split the bill or take turns paying

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  • As someone said, depends on the people involved.

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  • For the whole date or Just for her own things?

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  • More from Girls
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What Guys Said 20

  • If she asks out, she pays the first date, then after that split the other dates.
    If they both mutually asked out each other, the first date is split.
    If he asked her out, he pays the first, they both split the second.

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  • I think that two adults should be expected to pay for their own food. This shit where women want the guy to pay, what are you a child? Can't pay for your own food? If you're not broke then you're being an asshole by expecting someone else to pay for you. It puts guys in an uncomfortable situation. They might not want to pay for both people but if they bring that up they might ruin the date so they're forced to pay for it. If money is tight then they can only afford to go on half as many dates as a result because they're paying for two people. But a lot of women don't give a shit because they only think about what they want.

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  • It should be a team effort when we get to the relationship stage.

    During the dating stages, though, I actually like and prefer to pay.

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  • I think this whole "who pays for the date" dilemma is outdated. Women are now more equal than they have ever been. Each person can pay their own way and no one has to worry. I think once two people are in an actual committed relationship is when one person should pay for the other.

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  • Women (American especially) believe that men should pay for the rest of their lives - that is why at the top of the list of what they look for in a man is someone who is a "good provider".

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  • To me never

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  • When she invites him out, the one inviting should pay.

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  • Sadly I haven't started dating yet but I would say the fourth date depending on how much the man would be paying and how he makes.

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  • Split the bill.

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  • When she want to. If you ask girl, you entitle to pay. If she ask you out, you option who should pay

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  • When she asks the man out.

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  • I believe that splitting the bill OR flip flopping the bill between dates is the way to go.

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  • when she initiates the date. that is my opinion.

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  • Honestly I beleive a woman should never pay for a date period

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  • I make it clear to women that I don't pay for dates... UNLESS we are in an actual relationship.

    I've been on dates where I would pay for dates with women and on a single date, we would go out for drinks and I would be left with a $50 bill and when I would try to get a 2nd date, she stopped talking to me. You see how shitty that is?

    That is why I never pay for dates anymore... unless the girl and I are in a relationshipo

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    • I can totally see where you're coming from with that. But it's also just a good reason not to do something super expensive the first time you ever spend time with someone. If you're not even sure how much interest there is, doing something casual makes more sense anyway. Even if you're splitting the bill, there's no need for either person to waste their hard earned money when they're not even sure they like the person. I like a guy to pay for the first date because to me it's a romantic gesture that I appreciate, BUT that's only when I already know the guy and I know there's definitely serious interest on both sides. If I met a guy online or something, I would never want him to pay for the first date. That's too much commitment for me. But that's just my two cents. I realize that everyone has a different view, and that makes it tricky.

  • She'd pay her own food ALWAYS... I'd not pay anything for her I'm not an idiot if she thinks so... nor I'm some stupid "gentleman" who pays all dates... I pay wot I eat/she pays wot she eats... simple?

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  • I think it should be split about everytime.

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  • First date: Whoever asked out should pay on first date
    Second onwards: Go dutch or take turns

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  • If the date was her idea, then she should pay whether it's the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or whatever date.

    Same applies for the man.

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    • Even when you're in a relationship and you do stuff together all the time? What if one person is just better at coming up with ideas? Doesn't that kind of make it unfair? It seems like once you're in an actual relationship, you'd have to do it a different way.

    • @samhradh_leannan In that case, that's when I think it's time we split the bill is appropriate.

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