I'm a christian girl in love with a muslim guy?

I'm only 16 and my parents are really strict about the religion.. They have major stereotypes with muslims and my boyfriend is half muslim half christian, he's also 16. Even though i told my parents that, they don't want to understand and my boyfriend acts very non muslim at all.. basically him as a muslim is only a label. I have to keep us a secret from my parents because i've been through trouble with them before about this topic and they took everything away from me including my phone and they threatened to change my school and yes we both go to the same school together. Now my parents have no idea that I'm still talking to him because if i did they'd change my school and I'm dating him and we've been 4 months together and madly in love. I know i shouldn't be keeping him a secret but he's only a secret to my family, no one else, because my aunt even had a talk with me about leaving him and i got mad at her and i never saw her ever since. Once when my mum caught me talking to him on my phone about how in love we are with each other she called him the next day to tell him to back off me, and he stayed even though it was hard for him to deal with my parents. Yeah i've been going through many troubles and problems already only in 4 months, but he is worth it all. I need a plan.. but I'm suggesting staying with him till we are 18 (if we last) and the decide to tell my parents that I'm seriously in love with him by then.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Ex-muslim here. Let's crush some incorrect answers given my people who likely know nothing.

    ''There is no such thing a a half Muslim, half Christian. Depending on what country you are in, the penalty for a Muslim who becomes a Christian could be death.

    Many countries also require a couple to be the same religion to marry. Since Muslims can't convert, that means the person of the other religion must convert.''


    This is painfully wrong. There's no such thing as half Muslim half Christian, that's true, but the punishment for leaving Islam is not death in the religion itself. Saudi Arabia, Iran, Pakistan, Yemen and Afghanistan are the countries where there is a punishment for leaving Islam. If you're not in one of those, he's fine. I left the religion myself, living in Turkey, and I'm still alive. His family probably wouldn't like it, some may have violent reactions, but he doesn't really have to convert.

    The second part is plain funny. Interfaith marriages happen all the time. And luckily for you, Muslim males are technically allowed to take non-Muslim wives while Muslim females are not (though this is often overlooked too. God must have better things to worry about.) If you're not in a strictly religious country, I'm pretty sure there are no laws prohibiting interfaith marriages. You can legally marry when you're of age. Would your church consider it legitimate, I don't know. But I assure you there'll be no one chasing after you shouting ''YOU MUST CONVERT!''.

    This person also said ''keep it in your pants''. I'm not sure why they think they can tell you what to do. I think 16 is a good age to start dating. TBH, many people lose their virginity earlier than that. Your parents don't own you either, but for now they can control you. Just find a way to sneak around, in 2 years you'll be free.

    ''But I don't think so it's about lable, of being a Muslim must have some other things to do.''

    Muslims don't sit in their homes drinking blood of Paris victims and plotting their next attack. They're normal people, except they believe in Islam. Which doesn't teach anyone to blow shit up. Go read the book.

    ''For muslims, usually religion comes first over anything else''

    No. It's about the same as Christians. You commit adultery and get divorced, but still go to church and celebrate Christmas.

    • Hahahaha i like you, but he's surrounded by christianity more than his own religion and nah we don't live in those countries. His mum is christian and his father is muslim, and he even offered to convert himself but he knows he'll be having problems with his father. Thank you for the advice though

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    • Thanks for the MHO, and you're welcome. I left the religion because when I was a Muslim, I was just lying to myself. I don't believe in God. It's not really by choice, I never truly believed in a higher being. The whole practice seemed like a joke. I'm agnostic, that means I think we can't know if there's one or not.

    • @Asker "and he even offered to convert himself but he knows he'll be having problems with his father"

      What's the point of converting to a religion if you don't believe in it in the first place? His only reason to convert here is obviously you...

What Guys Said 12

  • A difficult situation. Your parents have given you no room to be open with them. Yet it's a difficult thing to hide such things from your family. If they do find out you can honestly tell them that they gave you no choice to tell them while being true to yourself. I think you should avoid anything drastic like moving in with him before you turn 18. This will alienate your family and put too much stress on your relationship, possibly leaving you with nothing. I would also suggest that you avoid doing anything that could use to hate him later. That includes sex, since that would send your parents over the edge.

    If your relationship endures until you are both 18, I would think you have more than enough proof that this is both strong and committed.

    • No no I'm not moving in with him anytime soon, because there will be a lot of consequences, but thank you though !!

  • tough decisions for a 16 year old.

    you can't fight your parents, you can when you're a legal adult.

    my main point would be, while you two feel like you are madly in love right now, just go with the flow, because you won't know how you feel 2 years from now, so don't do anything rash, you'll still have your family.

    • Yeah thats my point and that is what i was trying to say.

  • It's unfortunate that they Stereotype Muslims. I wouldn't say a lot of people do, but it isn't unheard of either.

    If you can date him without your parents ever knowing, that's fine, although that sort of setup can have its own issues- if there are relationship troubles you have no one to go to, and that's never a good thing.

    18 is just a number. I'm 18, going to college soon (I know my profile says 19, but I'm 18). I don't have my own place. I couldn't be entirely self sufficient. Nor could most 18 year olds I know. If you can live together at that age that is one thing, but if you are still living with your parents, that's going to be a problem.

    This is a tricky situation. I guess your best approach is to convince your parents that they are wrong. Try to be respectful and fact based. I don't know if it is possible when they are so extreme in their views, but give it a shot.

    You could also suggest seeing a family therapist. They might have interesting insight on the whole situation. Although I don't know how they deal with religion tbh.

    • My family simply look at muslims the way they want to, and I'm still living with my family. I can't really talk to my parents until I'm a bit older so they'd take it more seriously because now they don't want to understand. My dad said he'd be sad and he'd never talk to me again if he knew that i was. And my boyfriend is surrounded by christianity more than his own religion and he doesn't mind.

  • He will probably end up leaving you if he's faithful to his religion.

    For muslims, usually religion comes first over anything else

    • No its not really like that with him, and his dad. They are both normal about it and don't stress about it, in fact he's been raised mostly with his mum (since his dad is working in a different country) in a christian school for almost 14 years and he's always going to church with his mum, all by christianity. His dad has no problem about it.

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    • But for now be a teen and enjoy life, a muslim boyfriend won't hurt you :)

      Have fun

    • Thank you so much for the advice

  • So first question would be...

    Would your parents act this way with any boy who isn't Christian?

    Secondly, how is he half Muslim. Last time I checked its a yes or no thing.

    If your parents are rigid Christians, and the boy has some Christian upbringing, then ask him to go to your church.

    It's would be very difficult for a Christian parent to condemn you both being in the same building when that building is a cornerstone to your faith.

    Also, if to them he appears to be showing an interest of becoming a Christian, either for personal or spiritual reasons, one could argue they have a duty to assist in his conversion

    In any case, good luck

    (As a side note, 16 is very young to be finding the love of your life, but I'm not in your shoes)

    • Yeah most likely, and his mother is christian and his father is muslim. He has also offered changing religions but his father would make problems with him.

    • I'd bet it's less an issue then you two believe. After all, he married a Christian woman.
      Worst case, you can both choose to wait until later you are moved out.

    • Thank you for the awareness

  • You can't be half Muslim and half Christian. As they are religions and not ethnicities.
    From the sounds of it, your boy is neither Muslim nor Christian.

    Now Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian women but I'm assuming this isn't important as you don't seem to be practicing.

    You also have to assess the situation, will this relationship be destructive for you.
    Maybe you should consider finishing education. Or getting to the point where you're employable before getting deep into a relationship like that.

  • There is no such thing a a half Muslim, half Christian. Depending on what country you are in, the penalty for a Muslim who becomes a Christian could be death.

    Many countries also require a couple to be the same religion to marry. Since Muslims can't convert, that means the person of the other religion must convert.

    There is also no such thing as love at 16 years old. Keep your pants zipped, and don't seriously think of dating until you are 18.

    • His mum is christian and his dad is muslim. His father is open and wise about both religions.. and too late mate already been 4 months

    • He himself is either one or the other.

  • If it's about religion, since you say that to that kid it's just a label then ask your boyfriend if he can Change the lable.
    But I don't think so it's about lable, of being a Muslim must have some other things to do.

    • He even offered too, but his dad would have huge problems with him.

    • He need story pock between his dad his religion and him love, your family is right! He will never leave Islam he will drag you with him, and you will suffer a lot best if you leave him once your thrill is over

  • This relationship won't really work actually

  • Eh... I'd steer clear from this course of action. Interfaith marriages are almost never a good idea.

  • Watch the movie not without my daughter. You're 16 why are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with your family? When I was your age I was set on moving out right when I turned 18 before I realized what a waste that would have been.

    • Because my family never supported me of my decisions anyways... Why not? They haven't been helpful either.

  • Bible says it's a waste of time dating a different religious person because it will eventually end... Unless you don't care about religion... I take is seriously and I'm 17, I would much rather stay true to God and at least give them the choice to convert, at the end of The day us Christians are supposed to love everyone so no matter what happens forgive and forget but if you truly are Christian it won't workout. Trust me

    • He is surrounded mostly by christianity anyways, he was in a christian for almost 14 years until he switched to my school. And he's always going to church with his mum and his mum is christian. His dad doesn't mind that for him and he works in a different country.

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    • wow you have a point and i'll let him know.

    • http://youtu.be/O83i1SKNM18 this could help

What Girls Said 4

  • So what! Deal with it!

  • Yep, just stay with him until you're 18 and make a decision then.

  • Oh shit. You're going to hell.

    Hahaha, just kidding. But you are screwed.

  • He CAN'T be half Muslim half Christian.

    Religion is not a race/ethnicity /whatever you call it.

    You can't be half this half that.

    Either he is Muslim or he is Christian.

    • Well his mother is christian and his father is muslim... And he is surrounded by more christianity more than his own religion and he even went to a christian school for 14 years and he studied christianity. He doesn't even mind.