He said he doesn't want a woman that is too pretty and too smart. Is he insecure?

What does it mean when a guy says after two months of dating me that he would not want a woman that is too beautiful and too smart? He also said that such woman would leave him, because they always look for somebody better.

I was confused. Does it mean that he is settling for me because he doesn't think I'm pretty and smart enough or is he insecure about keeping me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is common for women to seek to "marry up". So common in fact that most people don't even know this phenomena has a name.

    It's called female hypergamy.

    The peculiar thing is this, in order for female hypergamy to work, that is in order for women to consistently "marry up", men must be willing and even desirous to do the opposite.

    Men must be willing to "marry down".

    This phenomena has a name too.
    It's called male hypogamy.

    To answer your question, your boyfriend is not being insecure. He's just stating out loud what every man knows to be the truth:

    "If a woman can do better, she will do better."

    Only a fool believes otherwise.

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    • Wow really low opinion of women and a sweeping generalization

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    • Marrying someone who is better than you, has more $ or more potential is gold digging. My coworkers wife married down in her opinion (looks wise) but still wanted spousal support even though she has been working full time for over 6 six years & she got it 😂😂😂😂😂

    • Thanks for the MHO.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he could be trying to give you a compliment as in your down to earth but than again you want him to see u as very pretty. Can't you speak to him and ask what he meant.

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    • What do you mean? Is he saying he finds me plain and stupid?

    • I am not sure what he was trying to say but please talk to him. We can play the guessing all day but his answer is the one you want.

What Guys Said 4

  • it doesn't sound like he's insecure. It sounds like he's just realistic about his own capabilities. I would even consider that more secure than most, in fact. Sort of like how I wouldn't want a space ship. As fun as it is to fantasize about trolling the galaxy, the fact is I wouldn't have the first clue how to operate it, let alone fix it when it breaks. It would be a sign of insecurity if I set out to prove that I could do it anyway by hijaking a space shuttle and getting myself killed because I don't know what I'm doing.

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  • Concerned about leaving you. I had such a girl. She left me. I am still fucked up 24 years later.

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    • I'm confused about it, because I rejected him a year ago (but it was because of my personal and health issues) and later I came back.. first two months he treated me like a princess, but he sometimes made these comments.. Later, he started to critisize my body (I gained a bit weight during last year) and the way I dress. Later, he started to put me down and downgrading my success at work.. Now, I'm even afraid that he will leave me or that I'm not good enough..

    • Maybe he's just fucked up. The Irish prefer men to get married in their 30s. Why? Because younger men are insane horn dogs all the time and immature fuck-ups.

  • He sounds insecure about keeping you maybe. Was he nervous at the start?

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    • It's possible, as I rejected him when we started dating a year ago (later I explained him that I had personal reasons), but we started again in October. This statement confused me, because later he often critisized me for the way I dress or because I gained some weight during the last year..

    • Yeah he seems insecure about keeping you especially since you rejected him even if it was for personal reasons. This type of guy usually is paranoid about woman actually being serious.

  • I think he is more like insecure about having you and he likes you so much he doesn't want his heart to be broken.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Yep insecure AF.
    Funny though a super hot guy rejected me because he was insecure about me getting clingly to him. :S
    Men are weird.

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  • I think he might be

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  • That sounds like an insult to me

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  • No he is warning you

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    • Not sure if I understand. What do you mean?

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    • That's why is he also putting me down or downgrading my career success? I'm really confused about his comments and if it's about insecurity, I want to help him to feel better about himself

    • It's kind of ass saying that. Maybe get a boy friend who appreciate what you do

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