Ladies, chivalry question for you here. All traditionalists and feminists welcome... Guys too?

So, I myself as a man am a traditionalist. I do all of the actions associated with the "art" of chivalry (yes, I consider it an art). I want to see if I am in the wrong in my opinions and thoughts and if I could get some clarification from women. I mean no disrespect or rudeness in my opinions, this is just my take on the subject matter. These are my modern takes on chivalry (I will still always hold the door for strangers, older folks, and always give up my seat to an elderly person. I am not a savage.)

The requirements for me to be chivalrous are as follows: If you want a gentleman you MUST act like a lady ====>
-A lady (my views or qualities that a lady must possess): kind, compassionate and caring, (and especially not dressed in booty shorts and a short that exposes your midriff), appreciative of my chivalrous actions or else I will not do them anymore (I am not a pushover or doormat), be a good listener and conversationalist, and be generous. Lastly for me to really want to do it, I must like the girl in a relationship type way.
-Respectful (to me as a man): My job is not to serve you like a slave, be respectful of me in the manner that I do not have to do these things in the preexisting feminist world where we are pushing for equality. Respect my desires and goals as a man, and treat me as an equal.

Those are basically my views. Opinions? Thanks!


What Girls Said 2

  • To me... someone who is truly chivalrous behaves so without expecting anything in return. I'm not saying this person is a pushover or doormat- just that they want to treat everyone around them a certain way, regardless of what other people do or say. So to me, no, you are not chivalrous. You're only going to behave that way if you get something in return- which in this case, is a woman who you want a relationship with, who appreciates your chivalrous actions, and who is dressed a specific way.

    Your idea of respect, however, is on point.

    • I respectfully disagree, doing the aforementioned is indicative of being a lady. For example, when an elder see's a young teenage girl wearing the type of clothes I described their reaction would be to call them unladylike and assume it is someone who lacks good pedigree. I believe that how you put yourself out there is a good indication of how you think about yourself and ultimately will attract people who are like minded or at least will use your appearance (the way you dress. Not saying brand or quality, but more or less not exposing private areas) to determine how they treat you. And if you read carefully you would see I said " Lastly for me to REALLY want to do it, I must like the girl in a relationship type way.". I capitalized the word really, it mean't that I still do all of those things but for me to really want to do it, like 100% all around chivalrous (dropping my coat on a puddle for a lady). Not saying I am not chivalrous to a lady I am not attracted to relationship wise.

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    • One last thing, is chivalry a dating and courtship type ordeal whereas being civil and kind was doing things like opening doors and offering to help carry things for people you don't know and giving up your seat to an older person? Is that valid or is there some discrepancy I am missing?

    • I don't think chivalry exists solely within courtship/relationship circles. It's all-encompassing.

  • Sounda good.


What Guys Said 1