He calls and text me often, suggests nice date ideas, but never pays.
Yesterday he asked if I wanted to go to the restaurant, I said yes, then when the bill arrived we split the check. Then we went to the movies and he paid for both because the cashier gave him 2 tickets. I paid for the popcorn and drinks because I felt like he did not want to pay for both tickets and I felt bad.
It's not like he is poor he is an engineer in a big firm, drives an expensive car and still lives with his parents who are rich.
Later that night he asked me if I was ok in my budget for the activities we do. ( so he made it clear he wants to split all the time ).
I really feel like he doesn't want to pay because he doesn't like me enough. Like I'm not good enough so he doesn't need to impress me.
Since he seems like an educated type, he might be doing this out of the principle of equality as a forward thinker.
I won't call you a hypocrite since you might still believe in more traditional values like woman as house wife, having kids, etc., which might go hand-in-hand with the idea that men should show how much they care for a woman out of their wallet.
Things get awkward in the transitions towards this kind of futuristic society, where women still aren't always being treated fairly when it comes to employment, where you have some guys like this who might believe very strongly in taking action sooner towards equality, etc.
But we can't fight these trends or else we get stuck in the awkward grey zone.
I'm still kind of traditional and maybe even slightly sexist/chauvinistic, so I tend to pay for women. I'm kind of weak in that way: I put my desire for a nice female bum above social principles.
Yet this is probably exactly the type of men we need in the future for a more equal society. I have a lot of admiration for him.
Personally I automatically pay for myself every date at least until we get serious. Official. I think it's a waste of money if it goes no where with that person. But I do feel once you become a true couple you should take turns paying. I use to barely make any money when I started dating my now husband. We went on 6 dates and I realized I can't keep affording these places he wants to go. So I started making excuses for not being able to go out with him. He makes a lot of money as well. Because of that I was uncomfortable telling him I can't afford to date him. He also came off as the party loud have a big night out type of guy. We stopped talking but months later we ran into each other and he asked if I wanted to go over his place for dinner. I said yes because I wouldn't have to pay. Lol He started catching on after that and our dates were more low-key. Until we got serious then he never let me pay. Just because he's not paying right now doesn't mean he doesn't like you a lot. Try getting to know each other without costly dates.
No, he doesn't wanna pay cause he doesn't wanna deal with leeches. He's rich, and you know it. You know how many girls will use him for his money if they could? Way too many. Splitting the bill is his way of seeing if you're with him for the money, or for him.
Why do girls always have to relate the amount of money a guy spends on her, with whether he likes her or not?
Okay, so I'm the kind of guy who *likes* paying during the stages, but even I find this weird. I mean, you said the following words yourself, but you're doubting his interest in you because he wants to split the bill?
"I had 3 nice dates"
"He calls and text me often, suggests nice date ideas"
He's probably just not a traditional dude when it comes to dating, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't like you. I'm pretty surprised to hear so much doubt given what you wrote, and again, I'm a man who *likes* to pay during dating stages.
I wouldn't say he doesn't like you, maybe he just has principles. To me, it makes sense to not pay for someone in the beginning and start doing that later on when you are close enough. Otherwise, you're technically paying for the privilege of a stranger's company. Why should I pay for a stranger? Maybe that's his logic.
I doubt it's because he's not interested. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't of gone on dates with you. It could just be the fact that he believes in splitting the bill down the middle. I don't think it has anything to do with not wanting to impress you. You are most likely good enough.
It is weird that you equate him not wanting to spend money on you as lack of care. We live in different times where both men and women aren't expected to pay for dates. Women wanted equality now live with it, HYPOCRITE!!!
No dude! It's 2016! This isn't the 50s anymore.. He wouldn't be spending any money if he wasn't interested in you... He's just one of those guys who doesn't feel like he should be buying you this and that... It's way early in the game for that anyway... If he likes you ENOUGH he MIGHT eventually start paying for you more often... But don't expect it a lot... He's established and expects you to be too... This is how it should be... When I'm at the bar with my friends I don't buy all the beer... They buy their beers and I buy mine... If they say something funny I may buy them a shot lol... Why should it be any different with a date.. Seriously.. Give me one good reason I should pay for everything you do and eat? Weren't you paying for your food before you started dating this guy?
He obviously likes you. He just most likely has a different view of the dating experience. He may believe you are equals and thus doesn't feel the need to pay for you all the time. He may think that he would be diminishing you if he paid for you ( considering you're a grown woman). Maybe he has had bad experiences in the past where someone was just after his money. Idk! That is the beauty of communication... So talk to him!
Look man thats just a turn off for me. I am old fashion. I don't know but you can take it up with my father. I would love for him to pay for it. Because it say something about how he was raised. Like he not selfish he giving. That sweet in my book. Notice there actions. I guess if I was in your situation I would be a little upset and I would tell him I couldn't afford to spend my money like he can. And I guess its just walking me home is a date than.
I think when women voted for equality this is what they probably didn't want. he's just being fair in splitting the bill. in my opinion I don't think he thinks of dating you as serious yet so he's splitting the bill with you. also on the other hand that equality thing comes in to mind when I read this so he could just be giving you what all women fought so hard for.
it sounds like its still very early in the dating game, dude. its very normal for especially early couples to split the bill so in case no spark builds up, one side doesn't lose so much. i wouldn't perceive it as him not seeing you as good enough. the fact that he asked if your activities together were affordable for you acualy sounds like he is wary and caring of cost which is a good thing. dont worry about this and focus on your chemistry together
I think it's pretty ridiculous that HE is the one who asked you out yet expects you to split the check. I would be blunt with him the next time he askes you out and tell him that you find it awkward/uncomfortable that he does this.
A man should always pay on the first date. Period. I would've been turned off immediately. For him to even inquire about your finances is out of line.
With that said, by date three, it doesn't hurt to offer going dutch. In my experience, I'm never expected to go dutch. However, if things have been going well and he shows me a great time, I'm eager to treat for after dinner drinks or dessert.
People have become far too cynical with this feminist social propaganda. A man picking up your tab is an honorable gesture. There's nothing chauvinistic about being treated as a lady. It's give and take on both ends at a certain point but I'm a gal who still believes in chivalry and traditional courtship.
I think that a guy should pay on the first 3 dates for everything. Then you could either take turns paying or split everytime
If he need to pay to show interest, you need to suck his dick to express your interest.
He's not into you enough... A guy who really likes a girl a whole bunch will want to pay because he cares for her.. Especially if he makes more money... Splitting is okay but only later on in the relationship when you've been together a while.
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