Once your attraction towards a guy has waned, is there any chance of you getting attracted to him again?

You have been sexual before with this guy, but because of some reason or some text that he has sent you, you start to perceive him as insecure and are no longer attracted to him. Is there any chance of this attraction or spark returning if he contacts you after a few weeks or months?
Guys can give some input too...

Updates:
Update: Can't believe I am asking dating/relationship questions these days
Second update: does this update thing even help...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not in my experience, so no not really.

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    • But would you give him another shot if you think that he has changed?

    • I wouldn't immediately find someone unattractive if they were insecure. But once attraction disappears it's hard to get it back, because usually it disappears for a reason. And it's not something you can force back. It just happens.

      The experience I've had is that I've found a guy physically attractive even after the emotional attraction and even basic liking as a person died. The physical attraction is just because he's my type though. I'd never do anything about because I don't even like him as a person anymore. That's much more extreme than your example though.

    • Yes that is quite right, it is not something which can be forced back... but maybe it is possible in some cases?

What Girls Said 6

  • Usually not really because whatever originally made him unattractive is an nonnegotiable character trait that couldn't be changed or at least compromised on

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  • If it is his fault that i lost attraction to him, i won't be attracted to him again.

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    • Can it be some other person's fault also?
      What if he contacts you after a few weeks, is there a chance of starting things afresh?

  • I went through for something similar so here goes... Sorry, but no. In my experience, once that attraction is gone in that way it becomes extremely difficult to even want to have a conversation with that person. You just can't see them the same way.

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    • But she still would message me, but it was only that she said that it was not possible for us to meet. Would the attraction die if you consider the guy to be insecure or not sure of himself?

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    • Maybe then the man should consider working on himself before he enters into a relationship. You can't be wholeheartedly with someone else if you're still struggling with your own self.

    • Oh c'mon no person is completely 100% secure, we all have some flaws, doesn't mean we don't deserve love or to be in a relationship

  • No, but if my attraction for a guy waned it would not be due to superficial reasons, it would be something deeper, an emotional reason and there's no coming back from that

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    • Like he said some stuff and you think he is not sure of himself and seems insecure, would that be a deal breaker?

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    • That's right, it's not something I'd judge someone for. It's a pretty shallow judgement

    • So there are chances that she is acting this way for different reason maybe...

  • Mmm good question, I think it's a no for me, once I moved on it's almost over.

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  • I don't usually lose sexual attraction to people like that... It's usually more of a decision that sex isn't worth it because of extra drama or some kind of issue or something.

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    • What if you have the perception that the guy is not sure of himself or wants to change himself in some way... Would it kill off the attraction?

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    • Maybe she's kind of unstable or afraid of commitment? If you aren't that into her (fwb?) - why are you extending so much emotional energy? Find someone more consistent, perhaps?

    • Yeah she is very commitment phobic, she hasn't been in a relationship for seven years and says she has "friends" but no boyfriend. She is quite older than me, but I actually thought we got along great and had a emotional connection. I'll be seeing other girls but yeah I did not want things to end with her so abruptly...

What Guys Said 1

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