Recently my boyfriend and I broke up. I tried to save the relationship but he didn't want to. He blamed everything on me saying I was immature, played a victim a lot and always needed reassurance. But the only times I needed reassurance is when he was acting different and I didn't see him for weeks at a time. I always apologized to him in the relationship but he never could say sorry to me if my feelings got hurt. He said really hurtful things to me and things that beat down my character things that were not true. I often felt he could not see me for who i really am instead he gave me false lables. He would just say I'm over sensitive. He would get mad over silly small things and blames every argument on me saying I like to debate. He seem to had mood swings and couldn't deal with stress well or if I asked more than 3 questions he felt irritated. I feel like he deflected himself on to me. And belittled me to feel better about himself. I realized he was being manipulative but he doesn't see it that way. I was always loyal to him, loving, caring and understanding and motivated him. I really loved him. But he even told me once that he doesn't think I loved him as much as I say that I was just desperate to feel love and to be loved. But that was not true. I truly loved him. But he sees me as something negative. Later I found out he has anxiety, adhd, he said he was molested by his family member then later beaten and treated like a animal by a foster family when he was a child. He claims to be fine but could these be the reasons why he's in denial, giving up on our love and blaming me for everything?
Most Helpful Guy
I know this sounds harsh, but he does sound damaged from this past and is not handling it well. I think there is too much baggage with him and his problems. Certainly there is something not right mentally with him. I think him breaking up with you is a blessing in disguise. It is not your duty or responsibility to help "fix" him. His problems are his to figure out. I think you should let him be, forget him and move on to someone else you will be much happier with.1
Most Helpful Girl
He's got some serious emotional and attachment issues stemming from his childhood trauma that he took out on you instead of seeking help for. Honestly, I don't think there is really anything you can do at this point but walk away and try to find someone who is in a healthier place mentally and will treat you properly. He needs to choose for himself to seek help for his issues and you or anyone else pushing him to ilia just gonna make him defensive and resistant to getting help.2
What Experts Said
Recently my boyfriend and I broke up. I tried to save the relationship but he didn't want to. Seems to me he wanted a way out. I know its hard to hear but it doesn't sound like he was willing to compromise... get better... listen more... nothing. Sometimes it is just not meant to be. A relationship is hard but also should flow in some direction. This is all over the place. Find something that flows.1