When you are in a serious relationship, when you say "I love you", do you mean it?

I have been in 3 serious relationships. Talked about marriage, kids, commitment, and love. My exes was always the first to say "I love you". I never did out of fear that they didn't feel the same way. Later turns out i was right. My exes confessed that they were never in love with me, even though we talked about the possibility of getting engaged.
I was just wondering, if you're in a serious relationship with your SO, do you mean it when you say you love them? Or you just say it because you know it's expected?

  • I mean it when I say "I love you"
    74% (54)80% (35)76% (89)Vote
  • I don't really mean it, I just said it because I know it's expected
    10% (7)2% (1)7% (8)Vote
  • I do mean it, but won't say it often because it'll lose its meaning
    16% (12)18% (8)17% (20)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I mean it because I love a girl right now

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would never tell a guy i loved him if i didn't genuinely love him. I would be lying to him as well as to myself. I'd never say it just because it's expected of me. Besides, when you tell someone you love them, but don't mean it you are just deceiving them by giving them false hope to cling to... that's quite cruel

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yes, if a guy is indeed serious about you and is in a serious relationship, a fully committed relationship then if he says that then he means it.

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  • you may as well be asking people if they suck. what do you think theyre gunna say? then you're asking exs like they have no reason to lie. you really dont know humans at all. too much trust. people lie.

    if its real love it doesn't matter how many times you say it. and trying not to say it is just putting up a wall making sure that the relationship will never advance to the next stage. you sabotaged your own relationships if you refused to say it even though you felt it. don't be a pussy. letting fear control your life is no way to live.

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  • I've had more people tell me they loved me and didn't mean a word of it. I sorta cringe any more.

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  • I never say it unless I mean it and I actually feel that way, if I a not feeling it I won't say it.

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What Girls Said 10

  • i've always had issues with saying those words because i find them overused. but, if i do say them, the person i say them to can rest assured that i mean them.

    i've only said "i love you" and meant it twice~ my first love, 10 years ago, and the guy i am with now. in both situations, i waited until i was comfortable enough saying it and i genuinely felt it, rather than saying it because it was expected.

    when my boyfriend and i started dating, he said, "i've never had to hold back those 3 words on a first date before... and you know which ones i mean". he must have seen the confusion in my face, because he followed up with, "but let's just stick to feeling them for now".

    a few days later, he went for it. i wasn't really sure how to react or what to say. but all he said was, "you don't have to say it back if you don't want to". i did want to, though it had been more than 2 years since i'd said those words at all, and longer since i'd meant them; the phrase just sounded alien to me.

    not long after that, he offered to pick me up from work, so i called him to come and get me. at the end of the call, he said, "i love you", and i responded with "love you too". it just slipped out, but it didn't feel weird or wrong.

    (a friend nearby was like, hey von, did you just? and i was like, uh, well, i guess i did... and the rest, as they say, is history)

    <3

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  • I would like to think I am in a serious long term relationship with my boyfriend. Yes I was the first to tell him. At one point, I told him when I tell you "I love you" it's not out of habit, i say it because i mean every single word of it and i feel it. Exactly the same with him. But he is less affectionate then me lol

    I'm smoosh him with love
    stream1.gifsoup.com/.../manatee-face-smoosh-o.gif

    Sometimes I drown him in it LOL

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  • Yes, I always mean it. I never say those words unless I really feel that way. I understand where you're coming from though. My ex said he loved me but then didn't really treat me right and cheated on me so after that relationship ended, it was hard for me to believe that anyone could really love me and have the actions go along with the words.

    It seemed to be something people just say without any real meaning or emotion behind it. I hate that those words just get thrown around so much. I am in a new relationship now though and I feel really good about it so hopefully I won't have that experience again.

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  • Is it possible that your exes did love you but refuse to admit it out of hurt?
    What makes you think they were lying then, but told the truth after the fact?

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    • If they said they loved me, I said it back because I meant it. I let them say it first, and I believed them when they said it. But when they dumped they admitted they were never in love with me and just said it because they know it's something expected to say.

  • I always mean what I say, and honestly it wouldn't matter if I didn't because my man reads me that well. though he is 7 years older and has had a ton more experience so he's never verbally responded. I think because of bad exs. Sometimes I wish he could read my mind. I would consent to one sided telepathy just so he can believe me haha.

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  • Yes because you should always say what you mean and never say what you don't.

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  • I say it reluctantly but I've only been in one relationship and still in it now

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  • Nope, bc I don't really love anyone but myself. It's pretty damn hard for anyone to compete with myself.

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  • I always THINK I mean it but usually that's not the case. I just want to be inlove

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  • I don't really mean it but I don't just say it because I know it's expected. I used to mean it with every fiber of my being then my boyfriend abused that strong feeling for him. He broke my heart and betrayed me so many times to the point where I'm sick of that same old love and 90% of me has no interest in experiencing love with him. It's really crucial to treat your partner right otherwise it can destroy the future you'd like to have with them. Now, I pretty much only say it because he said it to me and I'd feel bad just leaving him hangin and not saying it back. Or because it would be cute/adorable/awesome in that moment had he not screwed me over and slowly but surely detached the hooks he had in my heart for him. Other times I say it because I'm a die hard romantic and I'm in love with the concept of being in love... he's just a body there to partially fulfill a role.

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