Most guys at my age just want sex?

I am 19 years old and I broke up with my boyfriend 1 month ago and I think that I am ready to date again but it has been very difficult. I understand that guys at bars and clubs are looking for sex but even the guys from my school seem interesting just in being friends with benefits.

Am I looking in the wrong sites?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ever played with a dog or a cat, then had it nip at ya or run off because you had irritated it, but without knowing how you had?
    That was often my interaction with women.

    For a while lust was my main interest as well. But because I didn't really grasp what a woman was, I wouldn't have much success gaining their trust, instead they would take off like spooked deer.

    Now that I have gained an appreciation that goes beyond a girls attractiveness, I have a better grasp on how to act around girls, and I now, to some extent at least, know why I was offensive before.

    I think the problem is that often people will be more than happy to tell you that you are bothering them, but when they no longer want your company, they aren't so keen on giving you further time with them so that they can explain what exactly it is that you have done, and how it affects them.

    The confusion and loneliness become maddening when you want to be with a girl but you know you'll just piss her off. So you don't even try.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you are looking into the wrong crowd or are getting the wrong signal. I do think that men don't necessarily want to get into something too serious too early in life but many are ready for it, especially when they met the right girl.
    I just think that many like sex and there's nothing wrong with having sexual vibes when you're talking to someone as long as you know to to handle it

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What Guys Said 17

  • You're not going to find a relationship in a club. You're going to find it through friends, school, work, hobbies, bookshops wherever. You're just looking in the wrong places.

    Trying to find a relationship in a club is like trying to find a beef steak in a vegan supermarket.

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    • I don't think that's true! My last boyfriend and current boyfriend I met at a club. Sometimes you're just lucky I guess :)

  • You could be looking in the wrong places, but most people in our age group are not looking for serious relationships and like you said a majority are just looking to have sex or a benefits relationship so that emotions are not really involved. There are still guys out there though that want a relationship. It is just the minority :)

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  • Its a tough age i been there and as a guy whk never was like that everyone of my buddies were... so basically 9 out of 10 are looking for action and that 1 guy is looking for love and a relationship.. its on. you to find that special one who isn't into being a playboy, party animal, and just looking for a hookup. Dont be touchy feely and be strong, i promise that if you don't let guys to think your just a pretty girl looking for some action as well. the a holes will be eliminated and your search will narrow down!!

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  • Cause the guys at your age who want more than sex are found to be boring by girls.

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  • Men of all ages just want sex. It's a biological necessity in all organisms. It's not men being perverts or small minded. It's inbuilt. Just as it's for woman to be picky about their mates. They try and cloud the issue with crap but when you boil it down its just an inbuilt survival instinct. If you want a man to feel something from you and be genuine you have to offer him something as well. I think most women get cheated on because all they do is dress well and turn up. You dnt fall in love with how a person looks you fall in love with who they are. If there's nothing to you you'll never keep a decent man

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  • See the thing is that at age 19 most guys are busy with school, sports, clubs, hobbies, etc, and most of them don't have time for a "serious relationship." A serious relationship is more than sex and having a good time. A serious relationship requires guys to tend to your physical/emotional needs, them putting in the effort to keep to relationship alive, and them willing to make sacrifices for you. The same goes for the ladies too.

    All those things that I mentioned do not sound fun and worthwhile to a guy that's 19. It sounds like chores, which drags. Most guys don't like things that drag. They'd rather enjoy only the benefits of being in a relationship without having to deal with the not so fun stuff (chores). But don't worry, as us guys get older and mature, we look forwards to those things (like maintaining a relationship, and spending time with you when you are down in the blues, etc etc). It's just at the age of 19, our only purpose on this planet here is to only have fun (do stuff that feels good, aka sex) without the consequences/responsibility and to explore/focus on ourselves and our goals/passions.

    But remember NOT all guys are like this at age 19, yes a majority of them are, but some of them mature quicker than others. ;)

    A bar is not a great place to go looking for a relationship, for the most part. The point of a bar is to have fun which CAN lead to sex, for the most part. If you are looking for a real relationship, then try afterschool clubs/ classes/ group gatherings/ social events/ home parties, where its all about meeting people and getting to know people's personality. Goodluck :)

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    • Most people will not have more free time than they did at 19 until they are close to retirement.

    • @0112358 "Most people will not have more free time than they did at 19 until they are close to retirement."

      Hahaha, I had literally written this sentence practically verbatim, in response to this comment, until I noticed that you'd already written it. And you are exactly my age. LOL

      19-year-olds are too busy? OMG, lol, that's the funniest shit I've heard in a long, long, long time.
      You should print this comment out, put it in a time capsule, open it in 15 years, and laugh at the pure absurdity of it.

  • Don't give up hope. There are guys out there who want something meaningful. At this point it's all about you having luck in finding them.

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  • It happens to most girls, I think. Maybe try to approach the "unapproachable", shy guys. The hot shots are usually dicks.

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    • So are you saying that I have to look to the guys that are usually in the friend zone?

    • Maybe they're in your friend zone, I don't know. I mean the guys that don't find it so easy to approach other girls.

  • at that age guys are ruled by their hormones and they are screaming "SEX"!!!

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  • Sure, you guys are young kinda... and exploring is quite natural

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  • uys are sexually peaking at your age. good luck

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  • Yeah most guys at your age (and girls) want to experiment around. You want something more serious, you should date an older guy 22+

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  • Yes you are. There are real guys out there. You can ask them first too b

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  • No guy wants more than that

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  • I am a nice guy

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  • wow you are so -not- smart. you figured that out now?

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  • Lots want girlfriends, lots just want sex.

    But those guys are not evenly distributed. If you're in a demographic situation where women outnumber men, an even higher proportion of the men will want just sex. If you're in one where men outnumber women, an even higher percent will want relationships, basically amplifying the differences.

    Also, if you're young and hot and trying to date young hot guys, a higher percentage of them want hookups. It's probably easier for a girl who is a 6 to find a boyfriend who is a 6 than a girl who is a 9 to find a boyfriend who is a 9 at your age.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Why are you only considering men your age?

    If you are 19 and looking for a serious long-term partner, you'll have far better odds of finding what you want in the 25-30 age group.

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  • Almost always YES

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  • All 20 year Olds are sex only people and I know this from previous experience

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  • you're looking at the wrong type of guys

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  • Most guys at just about any age want sex, same with a lot of women.

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