I have a date tonight but I'm having sex with another guy.. should I still go on the date?

I'm 21. I met a guy online a month ago; we texted a bit; he goes to another college.. We've been hooking up a few times since then and plan to get together this week once or twice since our schedules allow it. I have never tried suggesting more than hanging out and sex because that's what I like and want.. But I'm starting to fit the description of "catching feelings" for him. I fantasize about him, I crave him, I could spend all day in bed with him if I could, his face just makes my heart flutter... Aaaand I have no idea how he feels.

I had this other guy whos 25 ask me out to dinner tonight (we also met online... I'm introverted and shy what can I say?) he's also very nice looking, Italian... Gorgeous guy really.. But I don't know part of me is asking why since I'm hooking up with this other dude who I now have feelings for. I mean, I guess if the other guy doesn't feel the same then it would be best for me to move on. This new guy is driving an hour to take me out, he seems very sweet.. Do I still go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • you can go on a date with the guy i guess but if you have feeligns for the other guy it sort of seems like a waste of your time and the guy's time.

    but you could go on the one date and if this guy doesn't sort of engender feelings like the guy you're hooking up with does then that could be the end of that

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What Guys Said 13

  • No, don't go. Try to start off with a relationship with the guy you're having sex with.

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  • This is one of the reasons that sex early-in used to be so heavily frowned upon. Good luck with your impossible situation.

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  • I would feel really disrespected if I drove an hour to take you on a nice date and found out that you were fucking another guy instead.

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  • LOL, why? Keep fucking the guy and go on the date. If the guy on the date is cooler than the guy you are fucking, then fuck the you went on a date with. The guy you are fucking is just a fuck buddy right? If he is not, then dont go on the date. Fuck the date keep fucking the other guy.

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  • That's fucked up

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  • Definitely spin as many plates as you can, that way your questions will be that much more fun to answer.

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  • what a slag

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  • don't waste the poor new guy's time. just tell him you're a slut and be done with it.

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    • I've only had 2 sexual partners yo

  • Wow... just wow.

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  • This new guy--the 25 year old--is this the first time you're seeing him? Are you already having sex with him? If not, are you planning to the first time you see him?

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    • I have not met him before. I don't plan on having sex with him right away either... Plus he's traveling an hour to see me so I know he isn't expecting sex.. the first night anyways

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    • Good thinking!!

    • My pleasure! You could seed the idea of him needing to address Valentines day on Sunday by wearing some HOT valentines themed lingerie when you meet up on Saturday. ;-)

  • I'd say yeah, but get your batteries charged. You know you gotta stop by my crib, I have to make a deposit and it ain't money

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    • 🙊🙊💦

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    • Lol, I just wanted to provide a nice mental image.

    • there is nothing wrong in this , u r not committed to any one of them so just chill...

  • Pretty sure this new guy wouldn't continue to date you if he knew that while he's paying to take you out and waiting for sex you're already having sex with this other guy who you have feelings for.

    Pretty sure you wouldn't like it either if a guy did that to you.

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    • I would not, you're right

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    • I'm sticking with the guy I'm already having sex with. I put a temporary hold on the guy in supposed to go on a date with (yay for snow storms & rain checks!) Soo I'm going to straighten things up with the first dude first and take it from there

    • I'm* not in

  • Sure, go.

    You just can't keep this up. If you like the new guy, you need to cut it off with the old guy before you have a second date with the new guy, and give that relationship room to go.

    if you don't like the new guy enough to stop fucking the old guy, don't go on a second date.

    You could also turn the new guy into a friends with benefits and screw both, but i don't get the impression that's what you want.

    What you can't do is have the new guy keep taking you on nice dates, while some other guy is fucking you. If he ever found out, he'd never speak to you again.

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What Girls Said 16

  • I have had a guy go on a date with me when he was seeing another girl and let me tell you: it's unfair and a total slap in the face.

    If you are in any kind of relationship with another person that goes beyond casual dating it is generally (in my opinion) inappropriate to see other people at the same time. Essentially, you're going to dinner with this guy as a fallback plan if the guy you actually want won't give you more than sex. I would say you actually talk to guy #1 before trying to go out with anyone else, get an answer of whether or not you are just hookup buddies or if there is the potential for more so you can properly break it off and move on from there.

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  • Go out with the other guy just to see where it goes and tell your hookup you have feels.

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  • Of course. Don't bring up your "hook up/sex buddy" to him but be open to seeing where he may fit in your life. At some point you may need to make a decision but not just yet. just be safe and use protection with all your partners.

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  • You're single. Wanna go on the date, go on the date.

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  • Sure you're not official with the guy ur fucking so until you become more serious with either see whoever you please

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  • Go on the date, just keep it cordial.

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  • Nope I wouldn't!

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  • Lol, you are so tryphlin.

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  • What? Threesome?

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  • Yes. You should go. He's already arranged his plans and is driving to see you, so cancelling now is extremely rude. Plus you're so conflicted that a date with someone totally new might put things into perspective for you.

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  • Definitely not. That's kinda disrespectful, in my opinion.

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  • No!!

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  • If you really had feelings (not something you just catch ) for this guy you know for about (shy and introverted, seriously?), you wouldn't even be thinking about some other guy.

    Then if you go and have sex with the new guy, later on have to explain to the guy you supposedly like and that might "catch" feelings for you too, that you were actually seeing other people. Not that hr maybe isn't either, but doesn't sound like the proper thing to do.
    Then again, in just one month, how much do you actually know about or can trust the other person?
    Except for casual sex?

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  • The only reason why you have feelings for the other guy is because you are fucking him

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  • You're not in a relationship (yet) so there's nothing wrong with exploring your options. If you feel like you are starting to develop feelings for someone, it's going to be tough dating other guys though. Especially if you don't know that, that person feels the same or not.

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  • No don't go. What's the point of that?

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