We just started going out and we haven't really established yet what we're doing. I'm still figuring out if he likes me or just wants sex. In any case I have a kid which I haven't told him about. I don't know if I should tell him right away or wait until I know what this is. The way I see it is that he doesn't need to know about that serious part of my life if he's not even going to stick around esp if he's just in this for sex. What do you think?
The longer you wait the harder this conversation will be. Think about it this way, what if the two of you catch feelings, and then a few months down the road you have the following conversation "I think it's fare for you to know that I have a child..." "What!, Wait a minute, why did you wait so long to tell me, I _______ kids, and I am ____ with this." (fill in your own blanks with both sets of answers) and see where this could lead. Much better would be, "You know, just so you know I have a child, he/she is a wonderful boy/girl and if we get closer I would like for you to meet him/her, but not now."
... We just started going out and we haven't established yet what We're doing. If Nothing has been etched in stone while you are still alone, @Stella517, the Writing on my own wall and all is telling me you Both should See where it might go, Hopefully Nurse and Nurture something special, and if you do see that with this guy, things are going in a Direction of "More serious," sit him down, face to face, and... Face him down With... What this is. If he cares about you, Anything Else will be a Given... Unconditionally and this Chance for Romance would have been Written in the Book of Love. Good luck. xx
I think it's a good idea. The problem is that if he *doesn't* like kids, he's going to be really upset the later you tell him. If he *does* like kids, he might be upset if you tell him late. If he's just in it for sex, it probably won't matter, but in the odds that he wants more than that, this is very important information for a relationship.
You should have told him before you started dating. It is an enormous piece of baggage. Some guys are ok with it, some are not. Even if you are just using him for sex, you should still let him know right away, although he will know as soon as he sees your belly.
Personally, I'd like to know by the 3rd date at the latest. You can hold off on telling him on the first date unless it's brought up if you think it might scare him away since he doesn't know much about you.
Well, in my opinion, it depends on what it is you want from this guy. If you're okay with just hooking up then it may be okay to let it go for a while, but if he ever wants anything serious, he'll likely be bothered that you didn't tell him. I'd say by the second or third date it should come up at the latest, if not earlier, if you actually have serious intentions yourself.
If you think this is going to turn into a relationship and that's what you want you should be honest. Because not everyone who dates/wants a relationship is ready to be with someone who has a child. It's just the honest and fair thing to do so that if it's an issue you guys can prevent going further and getting caught up in feelings and someone being hurt because it's not what the other is looking for