Why do so many men think women should not be allowed to choose?

I see far to many questions about the "friendzone" and how men are at such a dissadvantage when asking women out. I do not find this to be true whatsoever. Before my wife and I got together I used to get rejected! She used to get rejected too! IT'S PART OF LIFE AND BEING AN ADULT. Aproaching women is not that hard, if you are polite she will be polite right back, it's human nature. Every time I was rejected it was done with respect and sensitivity, because I appraoched with respect. Everyone gets rejected at some point and I don't understand what you whiny little men want? Would you seriously want a girl to pretend and pity date you? Because guess what, no matter how much guilt you lay on, no matter how many tantrums you throw a person can not force themselves to fall for you even if they wanted to! Either they are into you or they are not, stop whining and try again! Don't stalk people who reject you and call them shit like "friendzoning whores" and act like a complete brainless man-child, move the fuck on with your life! Why do so many men on this site think women are evil just for having a choice in who they date? Everyone deserves a choice, if you get rejected let it go and try someone else it's really sick, pathetic, and sad the way men throw little baby tantrums on here. I bet you the girl who rejected you has been rejected herself at some point! It's a part of life not everyone has to automatically love you just because you will throw a fit if they don't! I am tired of this childish mindset so to the friendszone complaining babymen of GirlsAskGuys: GROW THE FUCK UP. And this is coming from a happily married man, I got rejected, we all do. I took it like an adult every time and eventually I found the person who was into me too and we fell in love. Be patient, respect a woman's right to make choices for her self, and drop the entitled toddler attitude.


5|4
8|21

Most Helpful Girl

  • This was incredibly refreshing to read <3

    7|3
    0|0
    • I don't find it refreshing that this person doesn't understand the difference between deserving something and being entitled to something. I don't find refreshing the allegation that women are polite to polite men but that men are impolite. I don't find refreshing the allegation that criticizing an action equals a denial of the right to do that action. I don't find refreshing a person who demands maturity from others while himself engaging in an angry, sweary rant. This is cheaply-recycled garbage.

    • @evenlift okay, good for you!

Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree and believe the rejection I've gotten in the past only helped me to get better at asking women out and asking the right one's out.

    5|2
    0|0
    • That's how I feel too, not everything in life has togo your way and when it doesn't you can learn from it!

What Girls Said 7

  • Oh I agree with this! Women are vilified for all preferences, height, race, build... the list is endless. What it really amounts to is someone not being mature enough to just move on gracefully. Women don't owe any guy a date, or even a chance, if they don't feel anything to start with.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Do you not see that there is no contradiction between criticizing a particular action and respecting the right to do that particular action? For example, I would disapprove of drinking 100 beers a day. But, that doesn't mean that I think it should be illegal. Women don't owe a guy a date. True. But, that doesn't mean that her choices are beyond criticism. I think the confusion comes because many feminists do actually want to ban sexual activites of which they disapprove, such as prostitution. So, they assume that, when a man criticizes a woman's sexual choices, he wants to ban them.

  • Oh, they support women having a choice so long as they choose *them*.

    If you never make your feelings about someone known, how will they ever know how you feel? Telepathy?

    3|0
    0|0
  • Yea, I've asked men out and been rejected. it happens BUT men need to realize women don't ask every man out just the ones she is attracted to.

    3|0
    0|0
  • THANK YOU

    2|0
    0|0
  • Probably they're just jealous she has options. If I was a guy I'd be jealous too.

    3|0
    0|0
  • You sir deserve a medal.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Ah, thank you! I agree with you, it has a lot to do with the attitude and how the person presents themselves. As humans, we all have flaws. It's about not focusing on that, but the positive so you let another person see your positives.

    3|3
    0|0

What Guys Said 20

  • What is your goal in dating? Does getting bitter about rejections help you to achieve that goal? As men, we pride ourselves on being logical, so apply some logic to this situation.

    You make a choice before you ever ask a girl out. You see some chick and you're not attracted so you don't pay any attention to her. You ask out the ones you want to. This dude is right; do you really want a girl to go out with you because she feels obligated and the whole time she's with you, she'd rather be somewhere else? FTS! But he is also wrong about one thing: every rejection isn't polite and respectful.

    Still, when a girl says "no," she just saved you from wasting your time and money. Okay, you didn't get the one you wanted and rejection always hurts. I know because I have been rejected many, many times. But I have also had girls say yes when I expected a rejection.

    Dating is like going fishing. You cast out your line and sometimes you get a nibble or a bite, sometimes you don't. Sometimes, you get surprised. If you go fishing one day and you don't get any bites, you can get pissed off at the fish, but that probably won't improve your fishing techniques.

    Do whatever you want, stay pissed off if you want but if you really want to date women, you need to get over it.

    5|0
    0|0
    • You're right, but you have to understand it's easy to get disheartened. For me I've been nothing but rejected, a lot, it sucks but I still hold my standards high on a girls looks, so I won't blame them for the same its natural not shallow. So I totally agree it's best to keep going, to me personally giving in would be accepting a plain or average looking girl which is never do but I digress,

      I think however given the way he words it and his youthful marriage the poster may not fully realize what he is talking about and be basically giving a cheap rant.

    • @Beaver19 I understand your frustration. It is easy for someone who has succeeded at a task to claim, "Come on, guys! It's easy!" Don't give up.

  • I think there is a certain misunderstanding about the friendzone. Friendzoning is not when a girl rejects a guy. Friendzoning is when a person A (of either gender) strings along person B who has feelings for A. They do it KNOWING that B has feelings for them, but they insist on maintaining a friendship. Perhaps some naively hope that the feelings will fade. Perhaps they're insensitive and just relish in the attention.

    Either way, friendzoning is not rejecting. It's stringing along knowingly or perhaps unknowingly.

    0|1
    0|0
    • I just wrote something like this in another post using almost the same words. I do, however, slightly disagree with your definition of the friendzone. I think what you described is what I call keeping someone on the hook. The person knows the other person is interested and rejects them, but leaves a little bit of hope for that person even though there is none. Those are the girls that keep them around for the attention. I like to think the friendzone is a limbo state where the person who is being asked out rejects the feelings of the other person, but not the person themselves because they really are a good friend. They don't do it for the attention, but because they don't want to ruin/loose a good friendship. That's just my definition.

    • @theatreguy well as I said, the friendzone can be what you just described, or it could be no different than keeping another on the hook.

  • I never had a problen. Life is about risk. I always take a chance and ask a girl out, youd be suprised how lucky you get.

    2|1
    0|0
  • You can respect someone's right to make a particular choice, without respecting the choice itself. Likewise, just because someone believes that he deserves something, that doesn't necessarily mean that he believes that he is entitled to it. Maybe you personally do think that you are entitled to everything you deserve.

    Some men are impolite. But, so are some women, despite what you say. Women have free will too. Politeness is not 'human nature'. Nor is impoliteness.

    No. Women do not experience rejection much. And some women never experience rejection. Rejection is when one makes a clear offer and is refused. It is not rejection to wait around to be approached and then not to get approached. One wouldn't say that one was rejected for a job for which one never applied! And, even among women who have actually been rejected, very few have experienced what many men have experienced, which is not getting offers from any of the opposite sex.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I've been rejected over 15 times and not one has said yes, even when I was respectful I've been mocked (have a type of alopecia and shave my head) so I think some of us have a right to wonder about our hands, yes I've got high standards looks wise but hey, I'd rather die alone than settle, I'd give a girl my all and I'm not giving up, still 15 and nothing close to yes, it wears on you.

    2|1
    0|0
    • I don't get guys like you who complain about women being shallow and yet turn around and are just as shallow if not more. All these unattractive or average guys expecting perfect barbie super models. I don't get it but whatever man.

    • Show All
    • Then get a sex doll designed specifically to your personal preferences, problem solved.

    • Dude, you're the one who needs to mature, he'll I was agreeing with you about continuing on despite rejection, but you can't seem to grasp high standards isn't bad even if you're not Bradd Pitt, I feel sorry for your wife she should have rejected you until you grew up some.

      As for me well I'll still be holding my standards high, and quite honestly it's not anywhere near out of reach given my looks even with no hair, better wait that be with a sweet girl who's plain, and better wait then be with a hot girl who's got a mind like yours, there a hot girl that's sweet for me, and if not I'll die alone I guess, but hey with how often people compliment how I look with no hair I doubt that's a concern really.

      Have fun making generalized statements to groups you don't understand or sympathize with, then insulting the few who agree with you... wait you aren't that guy running for office right? You know, the wall guy?

  • A lot of men want that power and feel no women should ever be able to choose anything and match any of their choices.. those kinds of men have bigger ego's then Tom Brady and the rest of the team that cheated with him to win a playoff football game.. and they got very little or no punishment for doing it

    0|0
    0|0
  • So many men think women should not be allowed to choose simply because so many men are jerks. 😣

    4|0
    0|0
  • They don't understand that a rejection just means that the guy is not compatible with the girl or vice versa. It sucks but bitching about it won't change anything.
    People need to search for people they are compatible with because when you meet someone you really connect with all those past rejections fade away from your memory.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't whine at all when I get rejected but maybe someone who isn't already married at 21 can preach to us, yes? I'm sure you've been turned down before but I doubt you've been turned down 20 or 30 times in a row so don't come at this like you know what we 'should' feel. You haven't got a clue what it is like.

    0|0
    0|0
    • If you have been turned down 30 times in a row, you are doing something wrong. As long as you blame women, you won't examine your own behavior and correct your mistakes. Do you want to fix the problem or do you want to have a gender to blame?

    • Show All
    • I won't say I've been totally unsuccessful though. I've had women approach me, I had a 1.5+ year relationship with one of them, I've made out with a few girls. And to be fair to me, a good number of the girls who said that they had boyfriends were telling the truth. But yeah, I've been rejected about that many times and I don't need to be lectured about how I should feel by someone who doesn't know shit about failure.

  • "Aproaching women is not that hard, if you are polite she will be polite right back"

    I have never approached a girl ever, and I've never had a girlfriend. It's because approaching is hard knowing that I'm a typical nice guy who says "sorry" to every little thing that goes wrong. I also just lack communication skills, so I know if I try, I'll fail horribly.

    Some guys are destined to be alone

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't understand what frinedzoneis my friend... try again

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's not a great feeling when you only know rejection. I never had any women accept me for who I am. I never had a friend who was a woman. Now because of this you start to wonder what is wrong with you and what is right with the guy she is with. You start to blame the way you look and now you got another problem to deal with.

    It's hard to find a solution when you are not sure what the problem is. I didn't know I was color blind until I was 21.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Entitlement. But don't worry men, a new invention will ease your loneliness. It's caused prostitution.

    0|0
    0|0
  • This was a great read! :)

    2|0
    0|0
  • You don't get it, do you?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because they're insecure whiney beta-males.

    0|0
    0|0
  • So things worked out for you so the rest of us just aren't man enough? There are many guys who are tired of always being rejected. Because when 80% of guys are seen as below average value, the average guy gets screwed. I've never heard a guy say women shouldn't have choices- that's your assumptive projection. Guys just wish that girls would choose them rather than never being cool enough or attractive enough. But I guess since things worked out for you the rest of us are a bunch of crybabies right? We have no idea what we are experiencing. Good thing we have someone who is so much smarter than us to set us straight.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's part of life and being an adult?

    Fucking laughable. Your whole thread screams feminism

    0|0
    0|0
  • Happily married man- at the age of 21? "Eventually"? And you think you have the slightest clue what 'rejection' is? What are you spouting off about- getting rejected by your first choice at junior prom? How freaking whiny and condescending are you? "Every time I was rejected it was done with respect and sensitivity, because I apprOAched with respect." Riiight. Just like you're approaching this topic with respect now. You sound like a would-be white knight blowing the trumpet to try and go out on a crusade, when there's no-one to crusade against. GROW THE FUCK UP, junior. If you are polite, she will NEVER be polite back. EVER. You think that girl you're with now's in love with you? Dream on.

    0|1
    0|0
    • aww poor bitter baby, women are not evil just because you want someone to pin your insecurities and personal failures on. You are a loser because you are a loser, even if women didn't exist you would still be a loser. Take responsibility for yourself like a real adult!

    • Riiight. The 29yr old man's a 'baby' for pointing out that you're a troll who speaks shit and doesn't actually have anyone. You're the only loser here, dumbo. Go back to your imaginary wife, like the obnoxious little brat you are.

    • And if I'm such a loser, why do either you or your militant feminist friends give a damn about me "MANNING UP", "GROWING THE FUCK UP" and being a "REAL MAN" (as you so delusionally believe you yourself are)? Why don't YOU grow the fuck up, behave like an adult, and leave us the fuck alone? You don't want anyone who doesn't cater to womens' self-worshipping victim mentalities, even though they're entitled to everything and anything in the world just because they have vaginas. Fine. Screw you. I'm NOT a loser- I've succeeded in everything I'VE ever done, for ME, no matter how many times bitches like you have tried to derail me and sabotage my efforts for your own sadistic amusement. I take responsibility- FOR ME. Not for YOU, and not for THEM- they're WOMEN, not 'girls', and maybe they should try growing up, WOMANNING up and taking responsibility for their own choices before they hit the menopause, instead of whining about "Ooh, none of the guys I choose are nice to me, men are evil".

  • "Aproaching women is not that hard, if you are polite she will be polite right back, it's human nature."

    No that's just your experience and your experience does not govern all men and their experiences. Plenty of guys have been very polite about their approaches and were told things much worse than a simple "no."

    Do a lot of these friendzone guys need to get over themselves? Yes. But so do you.

    0|6
    0|0
    • Most girls are not going to be rude about it, it's as awkward for them as it is for you. Unless you go around asking out known rude people it's generally fine. I am not going to lie about being annoyed by whiny entitled men, they piss me off end of story.

    • You assume quite a bit about men to make them seem 'whiney' and you do come off as the guy who thinks he has all the answers, true several guys do bitch and moan about this but many just get frustrated or lonely as well, however you don't need to pretend govern how someone should feel towards something, you get annoyed at this, I can't stand people who act as they know everything and have solutions to it all, but I don't post deals on the internet telling individuals like yourself to grow up and stock bitching about others,

      Move on with your life right?

Loading...