Is His Jealousy Justified?

So I've been with this guy for eight months and things have gone amazingly. We never fight, we only calmly talk

we aren't dating though, and we aren't in a "official relationship". As in we've never talked about what we should call what we are.

In the beginning, we both agreed that the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing was a little lame and that it confines the other person. So we agreed to let eachother kiss/canoodle/have sex with other people as long as we put one another first. As in, we don't treat those others romantically.

I'm a virgin, and experience-wise the exact opposite of him. He was my first kiss, and the first guy I've ever been with. I'm asexual in fact. Yet I sometimes do sexual stuff with him because I like the gesture and I like feeling closer to him. He by no means has ever pressured me into it though, and took 7 months to even ask me if I wanted to. We've taken things very slow, which I enjoy.

Throughout this, he's canoodled with other people. And I have never expressed jealousy or told him to stop. Because I don't want to stop him from doing things that make him happy or make him miss out on life.

a few months ago though, I began hanging out with his best friend though. We're good pals, and we kiss and cuddle in a non-serious manner sometimes. However, we never do these things in front of my guy. We have cuddled in front of him before, with the intention that he join us and we could all cuddle together as friends. Yet he's always been slightly sad when I give the other guy any type of attention around him.

Its gotten to the point where he's told him to completely stop doing that kind of stuff. And we've talked about his jealousy before calmly. I told him "you're the only one I really want, and I never want you to feel second best". And he cried when he heard that (something he never does).
And he he hasn't been hooking up with, or even showing interest in anybody else for quite a long time now. So he's not really being too hypocritical

Updates:
He's said before that he hopes that when were older that "we stay just as close". Was he insinuating that he could see himself marrying me? I'm fine with commitment, it's just that I don't want to force him or ruin our dynamic.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Obviously he can't handle the rules he set up for himself if he's getting upset. Maybe just be exclusive to him and have another conversation about being committed to each other. This is a weird one.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah that whole situation is messed up.

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