Question to atheists, would you be okay if your kid was religious?

I'm in love with an atheist woman but am not an atheist, can that kind of relationship work at all? I don't wanna convert her.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • My parents are different religions, and my siblings and I are non-religious. They never forced it on us, but if we had questions for either or both, they would always answer. If we didn't they never pressured us. I'd like to think that's how would be.

    If my future husband is religious, I'd like to think we would approach our kid (s) the same way. Not push them one way or another, but answer questions if they want to know more. If they are religious, that is fine. It's their life and their journey, and I'll support them.

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    • This is how I was raised too. My parents let my sister and I make up our own minds instead of pushing us in one direction or the other.

    • @RedThread I believe it's for the best.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's their choice when they are old enough to make their own decision. It can be made available to them but never forced upon them. I'm an atheist, and I've been in relationships with varying degrees of religious women. Only once did it not work out because of religion and that was (excuse me for saying this) because she was bat shit crazy. When I told her I was an atheist, she assaulted me, refused to return a credit card I loaned her earlier in the day, forcing me to cancel it, and demanded I leave her home while simultaneously blocking my ability to leave. Then three days later, she put her son up to asking if we could get back together. Like I said, bat shit crazy.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Yeah, for the most part. If I ever have a child, I would teach them about the major religions and general religious beliefs, but not in such a way that favored any religion above any other. Then, if the kid decides they want to be religious, sure. So long as said religion doesn't involve hating or harming other people, and so long as its fully voluntary, I'd be totally fine.

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  • I wouldn't want them to be religious but being accepting to religion and more importantly, other perspectives, would be important to me. I'd love them anyways, maybe be a bit disappointed, but I'd get over it.

    My family and I are all atheists except my two sister in laws. And one of them is raising my nephews as Catholic, which I'm not thrilled about, but I'd never miss a religious event the boys are involved. I'm actually a religious studies major. I enjoy studying it and respect it. It's just not for me to actually practice or believe.

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    • I hope you wouldn't separate yourself from your kids if they do turn out to be religious.

    • What do you mean separate? I mean I wouldn't go to any religious service with them, but holidays and any ceremonies / rites I'd go to for them in show of support. I wouldn't want or let my kids become involved with a religion too young before they are able to make decisions for himself / herself, but if that's what they want when they're older I'd respect it.

  • Well I wouldn't push them into my beliefs, however when they're grown and able to make their own decision outside of the household I see no problem. I wouldn't push my beliefs down their throat so they shouldn't do it to be and or others.

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  • I'm not athiest, but I'm all for my future children making their own decisions and doing what makes them happy. And if that means they want to follow a religion then that's okay with me.

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  • If that's what my children chose to believe in then why wouldn't I be okay with it? I'm agnostic and my boyfriend isn't but that doesn't cause a huge rift between us. It would be a problem if you wanted to convert her or if you're so set in your beliefs that you can't respect the beliefs of others. As long as my child doesn't hate others and is as kind and loving as they can be, I'll be happy.

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  • It's not that I am atheist, I just don't have any beliefs.
    If I had a child and he/she was religious, I wouldn't care. They can decide that in their own, I won't be telling them what to do in that situation

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  • You may say I'm young to think I'm an atheist and all and to think about the future like that but I believe that it's fine if they are religious or not. It won't hurt me since I believe what I believe.

    And it can work out as long as you don't strangle her to death asking her to practice religious activities with you.

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  • I am an atheist and I don't plan on marrying anyone religious (or at the very least someone who's not practicing) but if I did, I wouldn't mind if my children were religious. I was also born in a religious family and decided this wasn't for me.

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  • I wouldn't want them to force any children we have to follow their religion. I think if you present both points of view to the child and give them a choice when they're old enough, like 13 or 14, that's fine.

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  • Yes their decision im not a mother lol but im an atheist

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  • Well first you need to know if she is in love with you too. That's the first step.

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    • She is, now I know.

    • The second step is to figure out if you want children in the future. If so, how will you two raise them? Talk to each other about what you both want.

  • As my parent did with me, id let my child be what ever religion they believed in. Allow them to explore different religions and make a decision for themselves...

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  • of course i would be okay. they can't do anything wrong by believing in God. :P
    its a decision they make and they have the right to do so.

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What Guys Said 25

  • First for the relationship, as long as you both are respectful and accepting of the other persons beliefs then no reason your relationship can't work. I'm an atheist and had a very religious girlfriend once. I was fine with her and the way she was but I don't really think she was with me even though she said she was. I got the feeling a time or two she was trying to "covert" me. That's where you'll run into problems.

    For kids, I would be fine with my kid being religious. To each his/her own. I wouldn't try to change their beliefs just because I don't agree.

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  • Honestly, religion just makes us atheists facepalm. We see it as rules set so long ago to control and that are still being followed today. Mass manipulation at it's best, and while it is depressing, most of us are adaptive and open minded.
    And as long as you don't try to show the child "the way of God" and let him choose instead his own path and understanding, atheists should have no problem with dating a religious person.

    But I advise to keep the religious topics as closed as possible.

    (this applies to me and a few other atheists I know, but things may vary)

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  • Yikes that's always a tricky situation when kids get introduced. Most religious people want their kids raised with their religion and most atheists want kids to make up their own minds about that stuff when they're old enough to compare and contrast different ideologies. It can be a very dividing issue.

    I wouldn't care if my kids became religious later in life but I wouldn't indoctrinate them into any way of thinking. It's up to them to make up their own minds in my opinion.

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  • In the case of different faiths or non faiths, I would be okay with that. I would allow my child the freedom to have faith or non faith.

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  • To a point, I suppose. I wouldn't be okay with them thinking they automatically have the moral authority to tell others how they should live. If they do that, then I failed to raise them right.

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  • its not impossible bruh

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  • I'd certainly be confused as in who the fuck has bloody indoctrinated my kid but if when they develop and are like 16 and still believe it I hope they'd still have respect and humility for others so I wouldn't be bothered honestly as long as they're a good person I don't care that much what they believe although I wish that they'd be a skeptic.

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    • Indoctrination works both ways.
      I think a child should not be raised to be an atheist nor should they be raised to be religious.
      I think that they should be given the right to explore what they believe so as to make sure their opinions are their own

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    • @Beaver19 I can't be arsed anymore your a fucking idiot. Religion has been used so many times to justify horrible acts whether or not religion itself is bad you can't deny it has influenced people to do bad things. This is my final comment I can't be arsed anymore because we're going in circles so fuck off I won't be replying to your next comment.

    • i was just stating facts, hundreds of ideals have inspired terrible things hell Star Wars has inspired killings before, that does not taint the whole group. Your anger towards me is strange as I was just making points, not name calling which apparently is the level you're on.

      As I stated earlier 'the only thing worse than the bigotry of the fanatic believer is the hypocrisy of the adamant non believer.

  • It depends on the individual.

    I personally, wouldn't care about the mother's beliefs or whether she wants the children to be religious. But, there's a catch, my child won't be forced into religion. Meaning that if my child was never appealed to the idea of God and worship then I'll stand up for him/her, they're free to choose. If she successfully made them religious then good for her, I won't get in the way.

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  • Depends on the age: religious at 16-18, OK

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  • I personally wouldn't care. I'm Agnostic and if I marry a religious woman that wants to raise a kid in her faith I would let her. But I would be honest about my views if my child asks.

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  • The upbringing stuff would be dubious to deal with, what with the whole being-raised-with-religion VS being-raised-without-religion thingie, but beyond that? Believe what you want chief.

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  • I am an agnostic apatheist, but I think that if I were to ever have a kid, I'd provide them with the resources they'd need to choose their own religion (if they wanted one). A collection of "holy writings" that they could go through as they pleased.

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  • I would never date a religious woman. If I had a kid and he or she found religion on their own, that's their thing. But there would be no indoctrination from the parents.

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    • Not all religious people try to indoctrinate others you know, I just aasume let the kid decide for themselves.

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    • Because I'm an atheist? That's not a difference one sweeps under the rug, that's a Symantec fundamental outlook on life. I've tried it before. It doesn't work.

    • I don't think that's true for everyone, I really like this woman and wanna give it a shot.

  • I'm an atheist and I'd be fine with it if they became religious by choice. (However I wouldn't want to bring up the child purposelly to be religious - I'd want them to decide for themselves).

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  • I would simply put forth that "missionary dating" is generally advised against by clergymen, and that one should be careful about being "yoked with the unbeliever".

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  • I waiver on my beliefs. Mostly lean towards atheism/agnostic and would be fine with my children being religious.

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  • No, I wouldn't.

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  • As an atheist, I would be concerned about the perceived damage that could be done to a young child, teaching them that there is an invisible power that will throw you in a pit of fire if you don't sing songs and talk to him with your eyes closed. That kind of thing would be considered child abuse if it were not cloaked in a religious context. So from her perspective, that would be the biggest concern. Especially if she was raised in religion, and threw it off later in life.

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    • What? I don't do that stuff.

  • If he was happy then I'd support him.

    I think that it's a parent's job to ensure that their children are given as many opportunities as they can to live a happy life.

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  • Religeous compatibility is one more consideration for a LTR. Incompatibility creates all sorts of issues.

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  • I would be okay with having a religious kid.

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  • I'd be inwardly disappointed.

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  • Why not. If i had a kid i would want hin to make his own mi. d wether to be religous or not.

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  • My biggest problem with religion is when they start acting like they know better than science. I won't tolerate that nonsense. Their education would be too important. My second concern would be that I don't want them to feel ashamed of normal urges and feelings. For example I don't want them to think God hates them because they touch themselves. As long as she didn't teach them that type of religion I think I could be okay with it.

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    • Agree with this!. I think that science and religion each have their place and can work together. I also think that when it comes to sexual issues, a lot of traditional churches have missed the mark, and created divisions within families. This needs to be addressed.

  • only if they are buddhist

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