Long Distance girlfriend cheated, help please?

Long Distance girlfriend cheated, help please? We've been going out three months, I'm UK she's USA, I was supposed to visit in January but work paid me late, I changed to march, was gonna book flights this week and surprise her. She's "tap kissed" him before, light kiss I guess. He's an ex boyfriend. This was early in the relationship so I let it slide begrudgingly. Had hard time trusting after that. We were good together, happy, said we loved each other. Planned future, I applied to colleges over there. We wanted a life together, I thought we did. She didn't go the full way but close enough. everything but penetration she said. I wish she hadn't. I can't stop imagining it. I know what he looks like, she showed pics before. She told her family about me. I thought this was it. I stayed up until 10am sometimes talking to her. I payed for the trip myself, or would have. She betrayed me and said it was because I didn't trust her. I was just worried because I didn't want to spend money on flights esp. since you can't refund. She made it seem like it was my fault. She went for homework help and got fucked. I love her, I wanted everything we said. I thought she did too. She cried for hours, told me as soon as it happened. Says she's sorry, will just be friends but wants me in her life. I love her, want to forgive but I feel so empty. Not mad, just hollow. I used to drink a lot but it lessened with her. Drinking now. I put so much faith in this. Tried so hard. Told my folks about her. They said it was dumb. Maybe they were right. She doesn't want me to go and I don't want to but this feeling, right now, this is the worst I've ever felt. what do I do? have people got past this before? can you esp, in LDR? *She is in class with him most days too so that makes it harder* I faught so hard for this and its broken, She called me 40 times before I answered after she broke the news. I said I'd try and work past it since she demanded an answer but its so hard to see her the same. When


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Most Helpful Guy

  • once is a mistake (though she still needs to take responsibility), twice is a deadend relationship. If she's cheated just the once, and you believe she's sorry then you need a little faith, like any relationship, particularly a LDR. that said you're completely within your rights to dump her, even if you love her, if you think she'll hurt you again then it might be the best thing. BAsically comes down to how much faith are you willing to have

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What Girls Said 1

  • Long distance is incredibly tough, and it's even harder when you can't trust the person you're seeing. If you don't trust them, what's the point? You'll find someone a little better suited later, but for now I think the smartest thing to do is to break it off.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You should dump her.

    While you guys are still young and stupid, even a stupid person knows what happens when you go to an ex's house for "homework help". So I wouldn't buy her excuse that she just went over for schoolwork. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she was 100% expecting sex. There are many students in a class, and she did not choose one of them to work with. Instead, she chose the one she has feelings for and has had sex with before. That is a no-no.

    Understanding that she willingly cheated on you, why would you stay? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Your trust in her has been broken, and I can guarantee you that you will never truly forgive her or forget it. If you two stay together, you will be wondering for the rest of your life, who she's fucking. Is it an ex? Is it a coworker once she gets bored in your current relationship? She has demonstrated her ability to hurt you in the worst possible way. Frankly, I'd rather have my girlfriend get angry at me and physically hit me, instead of getting cock from another man. Even a physical beating doesn't hurt as much as an emotional/psychological one.

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    • I talked to her today and she joked about it, said that in our 60's she'd look back and say it didn't count because we weren't really going out

  • Break it off, at least until you are both on the same continent.

    The relationship won't go back to where it was. she will always be faced with the physical presence of potential mates, and you won't have the same level of trust as long as you two are so seperated.

    So break up.

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