I'm scared to approach girls. What should I do?

Because it's impossible to tell how old they are, and whether they're legal or not. Plus, they all assume that I'm younger than I actually am- I'm a teetotaller, and I have epilepsy, so I can't go to bars or go clubbing, and I can't drive. I'm not that tall, and I'm on the slim side, but I look good and keep myself in shape. I also tend to walk around with a backpack, to carry my laptop, books and work folders around in- a suitcase just doesn't work for me. And I'm still a virgin- never even kissed, cuddled, dated or even held hands. Every girl who didn't reject me instantly, every single girl who was ever been willing to entertain the notion of going out with me, who was willing to be friendly toward me, and who's been accepting enough to even so much as give me her contact details, has turned out to be at least five years younger than I myself was, no older than 19. And even though the age of consent where I live is 16, I just couldn't bring myself to pursue any of them further once I found that out.

I've been called a disgusting pervert and a filthy creep more times than I can count, by dozens and dozens of girls- typically, for doing nothing more than politely asking them how they were, or what their names were. But I've only got these caustic, acidic reactions from girls who are clearly adults, clearly in their twenties. Every girl who's old enough to meet the "half my age plus 7" rule, even if she comes across as a nice, friendly and relaxed person from afar, inexplicably turns into a sadistic, vicious ball of rage, whenever I so much as look her way- and the only girls who DON'T accuse me of being an evil pervert, the only girls whose personalities are even remotely palatable and who'd consider dating me, are all so much younger than me that I'd have to become a pervert to accept? What should I do? Give in, and date one of the attractive, likeable 'barely legal' girls? Or hold out, hoping that there's still an older girl out there who'll give me a chance?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Man just date the "barely" legal girls in this case or try to become friends 1st with ____ and take it from there.

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  • You may be suffering from short man syndrome, which is exacerbated by the fact that you dress and behave like a schoolboy. This is borne out by the fact that you get a better response from teenage girls. Also the fact that you don't go to bars and clubs works against you because that is mainly where girls go when they want to be hit on.

    My advice would be to lose the nerdy backpack, get a decent haircut and wear adult clothes that make you look taller. Check out Tom Cruise for wardrobe ideas.

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    • I certainly do not dress or behave like a schoolboy. And I don't have any haircut, period- I'm a Sikh, with a full beard and moustache. And define 'adult clothes'- doesn't a business suit count?

    • I wouldn't recommend wearing a business suit when you're on the pull. It comes across a bit Christian Grey if you know what I mean. Smart casual is better in my opinion.

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