I know fights are inevitable in a relationship. But whenever me and my boyfriend have a small conflict it turns into a tumultuous fight. He starts screaming like a raging lunatic and I try my best to stay calm and composed. He is not a bad person but he is an angry person and has poor conflict resolution skills.
Most Helpful Girl
the thing is, he may very well have special challenges, he can not be faulted for that, however, he has a responsibility to be respectful and caring towards you. if you know flies into rage, then he knows. so what is he doing about it?
no one automatically is born with good conflict resolution skills. they work at it, if it matters to them,.
sounds like he has a disadvantage. in that he gets roused easily. and this probably makes him more resistant to thinking of how to handle things, bc this must be done when calm. when he's calm, he probably doesn't want to chance it. you can sympathize but you can not condone his inappropriate behavior towards you. you're a separate human being. whatever his issues are, you have your own,. life is tough enough without loved ones treating us like garbage compactors.
if i were you id talk to him about how wants to deal with out, bc it takes two and you can't hold the entire burden of any conflict. too much energy is spent trying to keep calm, so how can resolution take place?
if he swilling to workout it, then agree to give him time, otherwise id leave. thats me. thats how id deal with it. bc i may love him, but if loving him means disrespecting my own needs for a viable relationship, i can't stay. if I'm expending energy to becalm and rational, which i will do out of resect. even if I'm super angry. I require the same from my partner. otherwise we are not partners. hasn't treating me like a partner ion he can't respect me. if his rage or temper is that bad, he should not be in a relationship until he has it sorted.
maybe he has a metabolic problem hormone imbalance or maybe he just feels entitled to tantrums. he should see a dr and get his symptoms checked out. no ones just naturally 'angry[' thatchy have to yell at everyone. its learned behavior, that with effort can be unlearnt. or there's a physiological problem that needs correcting.
in your position, id think its important he understand i'm not insisting he be perfect or immediately fixed... just accountable.
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