Am I too fat to go on a date?

I made dinner plans with this guy I've been chatting with for the past 3 weeks or so and suddenly, I'm scared my personality won't be enough for him as he probably thinks I'm fitter. I'm 22 yo, 5'3'' and currently weight around 185lbs (not because I eat junk, but because I've been really sick for the past 1,5 year and only been feeling better for like two months now, and I still haven't completely recovered, which leads to me still having these extra 40 pounds or so...). Sorry, this post is such a ramble but I've been wondering, if maybe I should cancel and not be a visual disappointment... Do you think I still should go or am I too fat to go out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are never too fat to go on a date, you are the way you are and while I can appreciate that you might worry about your weight and want to do something about it, it isn't going to go away immediately, and that is okay too. Most guys will understand, and while I can't speak for all guys, I am one guy who has never worried about weight, in the sense that if you are a bigger girl that is fine, and if you want to lose weight that is fine too. My point is if you can accept me for the way I am, than I most certainly will accept you for the way you are. This is the sort of relationship I have with my wife, and she is a bigger girl, when she wants to lose weight, I support her, if she is not ready for that, I love her all the same, she knows that I love her no matter what.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you conceal your weight? Did you display pictures of yourself when you didn't weigh as much?

    If you lead him to believe you're skinnier than what you really are, you best come clean because nobody likes being lied to.

    However, if he's fully aware of what you currently look like, then don't sweat it and just go.

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    • I don't lie in general and I wouldn't lie about my weight. My pics are just regular selfies and I think they might make me look skinnier, although they're not photoshopped or retouched.

    • Did you use the fat girl angle shot™ technique?

      Because if you did, you know you're being dishonest.😛

    • no, it's what I normally look like, I think

What Guys Said 12

  • Why fight it? You're right but
    this deal is not torpedoed yet!!!
    Why torpedo yourself? Give the guy a chance.

    What IF he know ALL about illness recovery or gym workouts or diet management, is a chef or marathon runner... AND he becomes your solution to better health and back to friends with your mirror?

    Some of the dinner conversation should be directed at your goals & progress to "get back to" ooohlala status quo but don't make the waiter crazy with special diet needs you "can take off diet restrictions" once in awhile "if a guy is worth it".

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  • If this guy is fairly fit looking (healthy weight) and he doesn't know your 185 lbs then he probably will not be interested this is based on the fact that most guys who are a healthy weight wouldn't I'm 5'6" and 145lbs and I wouldn't go out with someone 185. But if he's also overweight then I doubt he's going to care as much and if you guys get along really well. You never know though and your not gonna drop 40lbs anytime soon so you might aswell try.

    P. S. how do you gain 40lbs just from being sick you must have a really bad metabolic rate and bad genes that's really unlucky.

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    • He's fit. Thank you for your opinion. I have an endocrinological condition and gaining weight is actually quite common because them.

    • Damn that's really unlucky. There's always a chance that he isn't so shallow as most guys and will just want to find someone who's got a great personality.

  • You may as well date and in the meantime work on reducing your weight if you are not comfortable with it.

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  • You should still go, and I don't consider that fat.. My ex is 5'3" and weighed around 220 when we split..

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    • What 185lbs at 5'3" that's almost obese please that's fat. I'm not trying to be a dick but that is categorically fat I was considered overweight when I was 156lbs at 5'6" (based on BMI)

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    • I'm done your probably fat as fuck yourself and can't accept it so just say oh no that's not fat.
      Here you go someone 185lbs and 5'3": www.mybodygallery.com/uploadedPhotos/0/558-1.jpg

      and BMI of someone 5'3 and 185 lbs is 32.8 That's fucking obese, i neeeedddd to know your definition of fat.

    • @Josht11 I am 6ft and 170 pounds.. If you are done then be done.. My opinion remains the same. Don't bother replying, I won't read it. That is all.

  • You can go, just don't be surprised if your weight is a turn off.
    Gaining 40lbs doesn't just 'happen' - you have to eat a lot and move a lot not.
    Get on a training regiment and diet and get your figure back. You owe that to yourself - not anyone else.

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  • You are never too fat to go on a date

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  • Did he ask your weight?

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  • girls never think that about yourself be confident show him the side that you have and have shown to him during these past week and guys like some meat in the butt you are good to go

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  • Did you lead him to believe you were in better shape than you are? If so then there may be a problem. If not then its up in the air

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  • What does he think? Did you tell him about your concerns?

    Lets assume he had a BMI of 32 and came through the door at dinner. What would you think?

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  • It depends on the guy, some guys really care about that, some don't.

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  • I do not date... so all girls are undatable for me due to inter-personal discrimination against me based on my sex and also feminist society

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What Girls Said 6

  • Maybe post a full body pic of you doing something fun and send it to him in a casual way..."walking in the woods, brrr, it's cold" kind of thing. He can make up his own mind before you guys meet without your having to say anything or put him on the spot.

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  • just tell him your a bigger girl don't mention fat.. text him before you go to avoid disappointment... if he asks for a picture show him it if he calls it off before even meeting you then you know where you stand... don't take it badly if that happens it would be better than meeting up face to face and him leaving u there... WORST CASE SCENERIO

    best case- he won't be bothered with your weight and still want to meet up with you...

    But honestly just message him tell him...

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  • Girl go! You're not fat. If he judges you off your weight, he's not the guy for you. I promise you that. I'm average and I had a guy tell me I wasn't skinny enough. I dropped his ass the next day. Never let a guy dictate how you should look or feel. Have a good time and if he doesn't like the way you look over your personality (which I'm sure is amazing), he's a loser.

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  • Loool no just go in a date with a fat girl

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  • Just go! Not as many people are turned off by weight as you might think they are. Life doesn't start after you lose weight.

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  • Tell him in the first place!

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