I made dinner plans with this guy I've been chatting with for the past 3 weeks or so and suddenly, I'm scared my personality won't be enough for him as he probably thinks I'm fitter. I'm 22 yo, 5'3'' and currently weight around 185lbs (not because I eat junk, but because I've been really sick for the past 1,5 year and only been feeling better for like two months now, and I still haven't completely recovered, which leads to me still having these extra 40 pounds or so...). Sorry, this post is such a ramble but I've been wondering, if maybe I should cancel and not be a visual disappointment... Do you think I still should go or am I too fat to go out?
You are never too fat to go on a date, you are the way you are and while I can appreciate that you might worry about your weight and want to do something about it, it isn't going to go away immediately, and that is okay too. Most guys will understand, and while I can't speak for all guys, I am one guy who has never worried about weight, in the sense that if you are a bigger girl that is fine, and if you want to lose weight that is fine too. My point is if you can accept me for the way I am, than I most certainly will accept you for the way you are. This is the sort of relationship I have with my wife, and she is a bigger girl, when she wants to lose weight, I support her, if she is not ready for that, I love her all the same, she knows that I love her no matter what.
Why fight it? You're right but this deal is not torpedoed yet!!! Why torpedo yourself? Give the guy a chance.
What IF he know ALL about illness recovery or gym workouts or diet management, is a chef or marathon runner... AND he becomes your solution to better health and back to friends with your mirror?
Some of the dinner conversation should be directed at your goals & progress to "get back to" ooohlala status quo but don't make the waiter crazy with special diet needs you "can take off diet restrictions" once in awhile "if a guy is worth it".
If this guy is fairly fit looking (healthy weight) and he doesn't know your 185 lbs then he probably will not be interested this is based on the fact that most guys who are a healthy weight wouldn't I'm 5'6" and 145lbs and I wouldn't go out with someone 185. But if he's also overweight then I doubt he's going to care as much and if you guys get along really well. You never know though and your not gonna drop 40lbs anytime soon so you might aswell try.
P. S. how do you gain 40lbs just from being sick you must have a really bad metabolic rate and bad genes that's really unlucky.
You can go, just don't be surprised if your weight is a turn off. Gaining 40lbs doesn't just 'happen' - you have to eat a lot and move a lot not. Get on a training regiment and diet and get your figure back. You owe that to yourself - not anyone else.
Maybe post a full body pic of you doing something fun and send it to him in a casual way..."walking in the woods, brrr, it's cold" kind of thing. He can make up his own mind before you guys meet without your having to say anything or put him on the spot.
just tell him your a bigger girl don't mention fat.. text him before you go to avoid disappointment... if he asks for a picture show him it if he calls it off before even meeting you then you know where you stand... don't take it badly if that happens it would be better than meeting up face to face and him leaving u there... WORST CASE SCENERIO
best case- he won't be bothered with your weight and still want to meet up with you...
Girl go! You're not fat. If he judges you off your weight, he's not the guy for you. I promise you that. I'm average and I had a guy tell me I wasn't skinny enough. I dropped his ass the next day. Never let a guy dictate how you should look or feel. Have a good time and if he doesn't like the way you look over your personality (which I'm sure is amazing), he's a loser.