Who should pay for the first date?

In my opinion if a guy asks me on a date it would a nice gesture if he offered to pay, however I have no issues splitting the bill and i'd never leave my house without my purse. I also wouldn't go somewhere out of my means, I think it's important for both parties to go somewhere in their price range..

What are your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it seems like the ideal scenario these days would be:

    -guy asks girl out, implying that he will pay since he is asking her out

    -girl appreciates the gesture but will insist that she can pay for herself

    -guy really appreciates girl's thoughtfulness and insists that it will be his pleasure

    -girl is flattered and allows him to pay for them both and will get the bill next time

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm the sort of person who wouldn't assume he should pay. I'd offer to pay half. If he insisted that he would like to pay, then I'd insist that I pay the next time.

    Lots of guys seem to have the impression girl's use guys for what they can offer them... ", financially" so I wouldn't want anyone to have that negative opinion of me. I never seek financial gain from anyone.

    I'm a kind person but I'd never allow anyone to take advantage of my kindness, and I'd never ever take adavantage of someone else's kindness either.

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    • I get why you mean. This is why I insist on at least buying him a drink, if he insists on paying for dinner for example. That way he knows I'm not just there for the freebies.

What Guys Said 35

  • I think the bill should be split, no matter who asks? why should anyone pay for your time? If I want that type of relationship, then I would get an escort, to go out on a date with me, getting someone to pay for the date, is just cheap form of escorting.

    Dating shouldn't be about who pays for the bill, it should be about, do you like me, and do I like you, and do you like each other enough to be in a relationship. If that persons pays and they don't like that person, the person who paid for the date, has lost out.

    At the end of the day, if you don't like that person, why are you dating them, why you are giving them your time in the first place, they didn't hold a gun to your head , and say come, or other wise you die.

    If you don't like them, don't go, and don;t give them your time, its that simple. Its shouldn't; be about who pays, I thinks thats being materialistic. Everyone works hard their money, what right does anoyone to tell you what to do with your money?

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    • I will only pay for a date, if I wanted to treat my girlfriend for her birthday, give her a good time , because I want her to know, I appreciate her, and all that she does for me. I do believe you should show your appreciation to your partner, doesn't mean a simple thank-you, that's just words, actions show your true appreciation for someone.

  • Well I think its rather convient that he would have to pay if he asks her out seeing as how guys always have to ask the girl out (yes I know women ask guys out too, but not enough for it to be statisticly significant). Feels like a cop out answer because their will most likely never be a time where he doesn't ask her out.

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  • The person who did the asking and decided in the specific venue should be the one to offer to pay regardless of whether it's a guy or girl. It's purely logical because they decided on the venue with their own financial means and capabilities in mind. I wouldn't recommend a restaurant out of my budget but I don't necessarily know hers.

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  • If a guy asks you on a date then he should expect to pay. However it would be a nice gesture to offer to pay for half and say "it's so we can do this again soon."

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  • i used to pay for the lady but i dont anymore. if she plans on putting out i would probably pay but she's not gunna tell be before the dates over that she's bringing me home lol.

    so no i split the bill in half.

    if she expects me to pay she can take a hike or i will

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  • who ever asked for the date should pay for the date. Also he should pick her up and drive her home and see her to the door.

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  • Okay lets be realistic through the guys have been the ones to pay for dates so lets keep it like that , also guys always ask on dates and girls rarely do it so chances are you are the one being asked out not the other way around so in most scenarious you're gonna just get a free meal... dont get me thats cool i dont mind that, however what i do mind is being used , if a girl is just looking to spend time and eat on my expense then no, if there is attraction and something can happen so iam glad to pay.

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  • Guys should pay befuase we are try to nail you simple as that. If you asked the guy out you pay. But since we ask you out we pay.

    Also

    Why would yo ask someone out if you weren't going to pay lol. Like they didn't plan for you little event they are doing YOU favor.

    And for the guys who angry that they have to pay. Think about it really your paying basically for this girls time. your winning

    The best you get out of it is sex
    The worst is you had all of her attention for a few hours.
    And the middle found is - you got a kiss or felt her up a little.

    So stop whining man.

    Most dates only cost 30- 100 dollars. And if it cost more than assuming u can afford it. Lol u took her three.

    And if a female say she want to pay. well guest what you saved money for the next one.

    Guys stop being dicks.

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    • If I want to just nail someone and have to pay for her time, I could as well just take a whore.

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    • @inneedofaname ok better answer you are trying yo court this girl. You are trying to show her your best attribute

      Not paying mean your broke or you don't care

      Or it could mean this which i guess is a good thing you showing u like feminist.

      My whole point bro. Is you asked u pay. You are trying to date /befriend/ impress this girl.

      It like a job interview you don't go to half ass
      No you suit and tie/ dress up/ you talk well / research the company

    • Well, a job interview results in receiving money for a service, not in paying money for potentially receiving a "service".
      I dislike the idea of making people think the best of you since you'd be showing them something most of the time you're not.

  • Depends.

    If a guy asks a girl he just met on a date, he should pay. Especially if it's more expensive and he arranged it without talking to her about it.

    If both of them know each other a bit, say they are coworkers or something, and they talk about going out to coffee, they ought to cover their own costs.

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  • The one asking is the one paying.

    Of course, I would be willing to pay regardless if he meal is interesting and I like her enough.

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  • Whoever asked of course. I can't imagine a scenario where someone asks someone on a date and they then want the other to pay and them not looking like a complete turd.

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  • Totally agree with you. I always expect to pay for a first date, if I do the asking anyway.

    I'm not really a fan of splitting the check, I'd rather just take turns paying the bill if we choose to keep seeing each other

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  • Who ever done the asking out, if the guy asked the girl out he should pay, if the girl asked the guy out she should pay.

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  • I enjoy paying but its pretty flipping awesome if the girl suggests going dutch.

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  • according to my ex i was suppose to pay for everything. But i think for him to pick up the bill on the first date is a nice gesture. But offer to split the bill on the next one.

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  • For the first date it should be who ever asks the other out. Mostly its the guy asking, so he should pay. But the other should always offer. If she doesn't offer, then he has the right to flip the script and go halfskes.

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  • I buy the first but after that I like it to be alternating, I think its only fair if both people are truly interested.

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  • I was taught that the guy should pay for the first date at least and if the girl wants to pay for the next one then fine let her or even better take turns

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  • a coupon should

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  • All expenses should be shared equally always.

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  • why does it have to be a date at venues where you have to pay at all?

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  • i always pay

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  • You pay for what you buy. You bought food for €37 and the other person for €44? Then you pay €37 and the other person pays €44.

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  • Each their own. Unless he specifically said that he wants to invite her.

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  • I always ask her to pay but will make up in a huge way later. Just checking the goldiger status.

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  • I think that the guy should pay for the first date because then the girl will know that you have no problem with being nice to her and not making her spend her money.😊😊😊

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  • yes, i agree with you, i would like to pay at my first meet

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  • Guys must pay everything for her

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  • Whom ever asked out whome.

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  • I always pay or go half

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 23

  • Whoever asks should pay. You are thanking the other person for their time and really it's only polite.

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    • And in a perfect world, that would make sense and I would agree with you. Except there's almost a tradition of guys asking girls out and not the other way around. Sure there are plenty of girls who would ask a guy out, but there are so many who would just wait and try to "hint" at him to ask them out. It's happened to me before and I didn't find out until a common friend told me. I'm sure it's happened to others, just look at the questions on this website.

      And even when a girl asks a guy out, there is still this social pressure for him to not just offer, but insist on paying or at the very least split the bill. Either because it's considered ungentlemanly otherwise or just plain old unmanly. So yes, ideally, whoever asks should pay. In reality though, I think splitting the bill is the fairest method.

    • @ivaneca I ask guys out and when I do I am completely willing to pay for the date. I am thanking him for taking time out of his day to be willing to get to know me better. This is the polite thing to do.

  • whoever asked.

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  • i agree with you~ both guy and gal should come prepared to pay for themselves, and it should be somewhere that both can afford.

    when my man and i first met at a local coffee shop, i let him buy my drink when he offered but paid for my own supper later on. it's 2016, and i can buy my own stuff, though i definitely appreciate the gesture (especially in this crappy economy).

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  • Not me haha! I'm evil and sexist. hahaha

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  • I pay for my own way, no matter what date it is. This way we can focus on having fun and not worry about the financial situation. Just enjoy the time together and get to know one another.

    The gesture is nice, if he offered. I agree with you, that both should go to a place/places within their means.

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  • First date, whoever asked the other person out should pay. After that they can agree between themselves how to pay for stuff they do together.

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  • i think whoever initiates the first date should pay. usually i think it's the guy lol. if it was kind of a mutual thing, i would assume he would offer to pay if he's a gentleman, but splitting is fine too. if it comes down to it and you both really can't decide then just split it. but again, i think its whoever asks the person out.

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  • Simple... the person who asked the other out.

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  • i would assume whoever asked or took the lead on the date would pay and then it could be alternated or split. but if i was in a situation where he wasn't saying anything bill time, i would just pay cuz id rather it not be so awkward. its not a big deal.

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  • I usually insist on paying my own bill. I think it's only fair...

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  • We should split it.

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  • According to gender roles in today's society, the guy is supposed to pay... unless he is some kinda asshole.

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  • I think that the person who asks should be the one to pay. However it is always nice if the other person offers.

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  • If the guy invites, I think he should pay. If it's a decision made with both of them, they can split the bill.

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  • I think each person should pay for what they buy

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  • If I'm going out I always try to pay half I would just feel really cheap if every time we go out he is always putting his hand in his pocket and I'm just sitting there looking I couldn't

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  • If you ask someone out then you should pay.

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  • I'd say whoever asked the other on the date or to split

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  • I think the one who asks the other one out should pay 😊💰 Seems fair, no? :p

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  • Who asked who? The asker should pay

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  • Who did invite partner, s/he pays.
    German style is equal. 😁

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  • The guy.

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  • I always wonder about this. My first date with my fiancĂ© we both paid for ourselves, but I really did feel like he should have paid since it was his idea and it's just part of our culture I guess. I felt like I was cheap because he didn't pay.

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