Why does it seem that most women can't hold a conversation?

I feel pressured to control every moment of the interaction, where as it seems the girl only has to sit back and respond to what she cares to. Any advice on why it seems this way, or how to fix this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i can understand how u feel but i think a lot of women like to feel the man is invested in the conversation, so hearing him speak gives them some kinda 'oh he's interested' vibe, u know? I'm only guessing though...

    personally i reckon it should be a 2 way street where it isn't just one person guiding the conversation along.

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    • i get that, it just seems to be the case too often to be coincidence you know? unless i missed the day they went over this in health class back in high school.

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    • that makes a lot of sense, thanks !

    • no worries mate.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Social awkwardness mostly. Forget what you see online. Online is where the loonies rant coz nobody listens to them in real life. Young people are nearly completely weaned by the net and it's a shame coz it's mostly just bullshit on it. Anybody living an online life must think the world's turned into an equal, understanding, nurturing place where all are accepted. It's bullshit. Most normal people take their world views from their peers still. Most men and women are old fashioned and the old views still hold sway. You still see mostly women like being approached by men and the man doing the bulk of the conversation. The man holds doors and pays for meals. He takes the lead in a relationship. Women concentrate on looking good coz they enjoy attention and can take their pick of admirers. Men are more switched on, women tend to get distracted easily. There's anomalies in every group but that's the general trend. Most women aren't assertive feminists who want control. Most men aren't feminine and sensitive and awkward. The new age guys get swallowed up in this world. They prepare for themselves for something that just isn't there. Be a proper man. Embrace it and live up to it. Women love that still. I know I won't make any friends with the women here but women love being guided and taken by the hand and being swept along in a man's wake. They demand it most of them. If your a shy, awkward, sensitive type you'll never get a woman's respect and that is the key. A guy who can't summon respect might as well be invisible to women and other men. Respect is the glue that bonds people in life

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What Girls Said 7

  • Don't know about other women but the only time I give short, uninformative responses is when I'm talking to someone who doesn't seem interested in talking to me, they just seem to want to voice their own oppinion and does not listen to what I have to say at all/use what I say to prove that they are right about something OR they are talking about something that I have no knowledge about at all. And sure, you can try keeping up for a while but there is only so much you can say, Communication is a two way street - if you only talk about things that intrest you and she has no input in that, its going to be a pretty one sided conversation. Try instead to find something that you both like and really pick her brains about it.

    And next time you talk to a girl you might want to try not to "control every moment" of the conversation, since people feel that you do it and it makes them feel like you run them over and don't give them any space to relax and get into the conversation

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  • I actually understand where you are coming from, I hear a lot of guys tell me you can actually keep the conversation going yea but I was never for one to go out and party or go to clubs so I read a lot or watched documentaries or observed people and my surroundings. I feel like girls nowadays just want to impress guys so they act stupid and think its cute, if you guys can walk with a sign that says please have a brain before talking to me then maybe you will have better luck

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  • I can, but sometimes I can't depending on how long I've known the person who who they are. I have anxiety and autism aswell, but people tend to love me and think I'm great at conversations, aswell as a funny interesting person! Maybe they aren't interested, shy or something :/ The girls I know don't seem like this.

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    • you're right and i shouldn't be so broad in my descriptions. the women I'm talking about are potential love interests and it always seems like they are waiting for me to make my case and present myself.

      thanks for the reply!

    • Maybe they're just not that into you. I can hold conversations with people, but only if the person/conversation interests me. Otherwise, I'll converse to be polite, but don't expect much out of me.

  • I have no idea why I can't hold a conversation. A lot of other girls can though

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  • I'd advise to spend more time with girls who seem to want to talk to you. Most females I know we're brought up to "talk fair" (letting everyone have their turn, segueing to the other person's interests, etc) and be engaging and kind. So her disengaging can be a sign of low interest as well as bad manners.

    It's also possible that you ramble on too long out of nerves. Of a girl is too far into the "polite" thing, she can get caught up in simply affirming you and indicating that she heard you, but secretly zoning out. I agree with the guy that says open ended questions are great for dates. Especially about shared experiences or interests - like music, food and drink likes and dislikes, travel, books and movies, funny memories, etc. But rather than trying to one up each other, look for ways your tastes and experiences fit together...

    "That's so cool that you do yoga! Some of the eastern traditions are awesome. I meditate a lot."

    or

    "It's awesome that you love live music too. What's the best concert you've been too?"

    Etc.

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  • could be technology. Or could be some women like for a man to be more dominant in certain areas. But maybe date someone older. Tell her to talk about herself more. Could be that they are shy or you guys might not have a connection you thought you did

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  • Maybe it's you who can't hold a convo?

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    • I'm actually quite the conversationalist, i just don't like them to be entirely one sided

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    • It isn't a 'her' 😂 it's EDM/dj stuff

    • oh now i managed to make a fool of myself, give me a favorite of yours I'm really curious now

What Guys Said 15

  • Because most women can't hold a conversation. A lot of women are just such bitches these days and think the world revolves around them that they treat others around them with the cold bitchey shoulder all the time. A lot of women just LOVE to throw the word creep and creepy around to. If a woman acts with this head stuck up her own ass attitude it is her own fault when people don't like her and I don't give a fuck when she has no friends or she is single because why should I. Maybe women like this need to accept it is only their fault.

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  • Cause most girls these days are used to gettinf attention all the time, and people doing everything for them, so they're not used to engaging and putting the same effort as the other person.
    Girls have huge egos, and they think that either you lead the convo, or you leave her be, cause they don't care since they have a lot to choose from, so why put any effort?

    Obviously I'm referring to those girls who don't know how to hold a convo, not every girl.

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  • Ask opened ended, none intrusive questions. Then, listen. Their responses may give you openings to ask more questions that may interest them.

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  • It's just lack of self confidence. When you are more confident in yourself you won't feel so pressured to keep the conversation going and you can easily look at the girl and not say anything and truly just feel comfortable. When you say the girl just has to sit back and respond to what she cares to, that is the exact way you should be as well.

    Don't cater your conversations to what you think she wants to hear. B/c 9/10 what you think she want's to hear isn't what she want's to hear.

    And a side tip. It's ok to disagree with her opinions too if you truly do. But be warned. If you say you disagree, most likely she will come back with shit tests to try and make you go back on what you said. Just stay firm and with your original intent. Unless of course she proves you wrong or something. Then gracefully accept it and admit her view was more insightful or w/e.

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  • Women are taught from the day they are born that they are princesses who must be fought for and earned. The truth is that if everyone threw away all the pretensions and expectations, if we all let down the facade of "value" we'd all have something to talk about, because we ALL have opinions and we ALL have something on our minds. But sadly, the case today is that women are taught to "play hard to get" or they will be "too easy" and men are taught that they MUST try to impress a girl because their real self is not good enough. So men take it upon themselves to be funny witty and all that stuff, and women take it upon themsleves to be completely braindead and find ways to reject a guy. This all ends up in a giant mess. This is why most of the hookups that occur involve such a heavy amount of alcohol that both the guy and the girl are literally braindead and let instinct take over. This is because when they are conscious they are too in their heads and fucked up to attempt a normal human conversation. The state of affairs is really terrible to be honest. Women do not know how to communicate, for the most part neither do men.

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  • If they are shy, it's a struggle for them. If they are not into you, they won't work at all to respond much/push the conversation a long.

    So most likely you aren't engaging, they aren't attracted to you or they are shy.

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  • Apart from dominant women, most women want a man to dominate them in essentially all ways.

    Do it too much and they'll grow tired, do it too little and they'll seek a better man.

    They want to be captivated by you, feel like every word rolling off of yoru lips holds their attention regardless of the topic of conversation.

    Women are chatterboxes amongst themselves, they subconsciously go silent out of respect for you and what you have to say, it' s in built chauvinism and natural selection at work.

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  • stop texting her so hard, if she doesn't work to carry out the conversation she's a lost cause.
    dont leave her hanging, leave her with a short careless message in repsonse and wait. you might not hear back from her again but thats cuz she's not into you.

    stop trying to control conversations just let them roll. some women are just boring some women just dont care and some women will hold the conversation, you just have to sift through them a bit

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  • Join some dance classes to solve this and many other gal social problems
    is the brief on this, otherwise you're asking for an encyclopedia be read to you

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  • I can't sustain conversations with anyone yet I feel compelled to try. Probably the reason why people avoid me.

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  • Just like sex...

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  • chill bro just chill

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  • Because they're kind of retarded. You can see the same thing happening here on gag, girls are just plain socially foolish

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  • Because you cannot hold a conversation. Period.

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  • It depends on the girl, but asking her more questions about herself/where she has to defend herself can get a girl to talk more.

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