What is intent?

My living in boyfriend spent the holidays last year with his ex wife at his families house even though he was living with me and I was supporting him. He promised this year to spend the holiday with me as a make up for last year and a make up for not being able to afford to see my son for this holiday. We can't afford it because I support him while he supports his ex. He broke his promise this year, left me home alone in tears and said " I didn't intend to hurt you, I just did what I wanted" is he right? I have been crying since he told me he wouldn't spend the holiday with me 3 days ago.


Most Helpful Guy

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    You seem to have a leech you need to get off your body. . . and your purse. He seems like a inconsiderate ass. You have the right to be upset and he could discuss a compromise to make you, your son and his ex wife and kids all be able spend time with him and make the holiday festive.

    • It's not even a holiday for him or his ex. We are different nationalities so holidays never are the same which I thought would work out great

Most Helpful Girl

  • When will you wake and smell the coffee?

    • He cries and carries on like I am being so cruel when I say I am done it makes me wonder

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    • Ok you think it's an excuse. I think I need to get him off the lease and deal with the financial end then I need to pay for another move and find a job so it's something to be very sure about. Not everyone has family to take them in.

    • Thank you for the MHO.

What Guys Said 2

  • He is taking your money to spend time with his ex and does not care that it hurts you. And it was not something that he found himself forced to do as he said he just did what he wanted. In the meantime, by supporting him and his trips to see his ex, he has taken money from you so that you cannot see your own son. Right there is something that really bothers me! You are letting him keep you from seeing your son. there is something wrong with you for allowing that.

    It is time to split with this jerk and start thinking of your own flesh and blood first!

    • My son is adopted
      And yes it bothers me too. Next break from work I am going to pick him up and spend time. My son is out of state so it's not a quick trip

    • It seems that the only reason he is staying with you is because of your income. And somehow you have tied breaking up with him to you losing your job and if you lose your job he loses his. A lot more than what you have explained here, but you still need to look out for your self and your relationship with your son. Do what it takes to find a job to support yourself and get rid of this guy who is nothing more than an anchor who will drag you down and drown you.

    • We work together if I break contract they will know it's because of him so I didn't tie to him our employer did. We work together. I

  • Life is compliicated when it comes to exs and blended families.
    Exs have a tendency to bleed you dry as well.

    That said... a promise is a promise and he broke his.

    • My issue is he treats my son horribly and takes from me to the point I can't afford to see him.
      Blended families... I support kids I have yet to meet

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    • Thanks and I am about ready not to care what happens to him.
      I told him tonight... I have no intent to hurt you when I finally get the strength to quit

    • Good on you.
      Good luck.

What Girls Said 1

  • I am sorry but he just doesn't care enough about you and what you think or feel. I would not be supporting his ass and I would press the eject button. You should be high enough on his list that he factors you and your son into the equation so this his decisions are realistic. He sounds selfish to me and needs you to keep him going.

    • He said he did nothing wrong.
      Thanks I appreciate the support