Why should I bother actually trying?

Why the fuck should I try? I mean, honestly, if I'm going to be 100% and completely honest, most guys, most fucking guys! know when they don't have a chance with a girl. Me especially. It's funny, because, of my friends, I can read girls the best, but only negative symbols. It's pretty easy to know than you don't stand a chance, honestly. Even positive shit like, she's flirty with you can be quickly diminished when you realize she's flirty with everyone. Ya see, I just saw a thread here asking what's worse, rejection or just never trying. A lot of folks said never trying. Well, I argue the opposite. Why try at all? Why if I know I'll probably fail? If I know I have a 95% chance of failure, I'd rather not try at all then confirm I'm a fucking loser. Look at it this way, a general is tasked with deciding what his men do prior to a possible battle. He knows if they do a headlong charge, there's a 90% chance his men will all die. Should he go ahead with the attack because of the 10% chance they win? And, by the way, if anyone mentions that many rejections is worth a single yes, no, it isn't, 100 no's aren't invalidated by a single yes, I'm still a loser, and, I'm not a masochist (not in that way, anyway) and wouldn't want to hurt myself that much.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, I think you might be making more out of rejection than there really is to it.

    For one, rejection certainly doesn't mean that you're a loser. If that were true, than virtually the entire human race is full of losers, since virtually everyone gets rejected.

    I think it's important to understand that failure in romance is the norm, but that doesn't mean we simply never try. Even for the most wonderful, interesting, attractive people, rejection is the norm. This doesn't mean that they're losers. It just means that most of the time, people aren't compatible with each other.

    Unlike war, rejection doesn't kill. Please understand I am in no way implying that rejection is nothing. I know it hurts. For some it hurts more than others. I'm not belittling the pain of rejection. I am suggesting that if we decide to never try because we don't want to feel the pain of rejection, then no one would ever get with anyone.

    If you have only a one in twenty chance, then I would say you must try 20 times. The Japanese have a proverb for this. 七転び八起き, nanakorobi yaoki. Literally it says, "Fall seven times, stand up eight." In the case of dating, it could read "Fall 19 times, stand up 20."

    Having been in a kick ass relationship with my wife, I have to respectfully disagree with you that many rejections aren't worth a single yes.

    Do you believe that rejection makes you a loser? I can't help but thinking that is what this stems from.

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