When talking to partner feels like a "chore"?

Me and my boyfriend are going through a rough patch in our relationship right now. We have been together for almost 3 years and he feels as though our relationship isn't exciting or passionate anymore. I'm trying to be understanding since I have had moments where I felt this way as well but I know relationships have their lulls and highs, and I also know once you're out of the honey moon phase things settle down a bit. But then he told me that lately he feels like its a chore to see me or talk to me, and I felt like that part really hurt because honestly we don't talk that much as it is since he works like 70 hours a week. Even though things sometimes aren't very exciting, I have always felt like I still wanted to talk to him or see him if I could. Is it wrong for me to be taking this so hard? Shouldn't you want to always talk/see your partner when you have the opportunity?


What Guys Said 1

  • You're young, this is how relationships go.
    Don't be too attached to the idea that this one is going to last forever, it might be time to call it a day and move on.
    It's just part of growing up, so much changes in your late teens and early/mid 20's, expecting things to stay how they were at one point in time is unreasonable and unrealistic.
    It shouldn't be a chore to talk with or be with your partner. If it is, then that's a sign it might not be the right fit.

    • Thank you for your honesty

    • Show All
    • Thank you for sharing that, thats really interesting hearing the other side's perspective. I think he is definitely going through similar things as you, except the difference is he was the one wanting to settle down in the next couple of years and I am trying to postpone it as long as i can right now because I changed my major in school which has set me back as far as a graduation date and I would like to be working for a bit before I start thinking about kids. I think its better to do what you're going to be happy with in the long run though than to settle for something that would just be average.

    • For sure. Don't rush it. Everybody has a different pace they are comfortable at, different goals, different desires, and unless both parties are willing to negotiate and come to a mutually acceptable agreement, then it's probably not going to work.
      Good luck to you :-)

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