I'm 60% sure my boyfriend is going to propose to me this Valentine's? Should I decline now before he asks?

Ok I'm 60% sure so not all the way sure he's going to propose but I have a feeling he is. Now I don't want to permanently turn him off ever proposing but I'm not ready right now. And I'm scared if I just come out and say 'hey I know you're going to propose and I'm not ready' he'll be turned off ever proposing and on top of that I might be wrong so should I just wait and decline if he asks?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Put it on the table and air it out. So much bad shit happens in relationships because nobody said anything. Sit down and have a conversation with the man. And don't start with, "We need to talk." That's breakup music. Be light about it. Like, "Hey, I wanna ask you about something." Make a joke about, "I'm not gonna break up with you" if he looks nervous or scared. Tell him why you suspect he's going to propose, and tell him you love him and want to be with him, but that you aren't ready. Then maybe tell him why. Suggest that the two of you keep talking about it from time to time, so nobody feels strung along. I think sacrificing a little spontaneity for the health of the relationship is a good trade.

    He may be disappointed for a short time. By Tuesday, the dude will be bragging to his friends, "She knows I'm not a mind reader! Holy shit!" and his friends will want to know if you have a sister.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're only 60% sure. You can bring it up now and look like a total asshole for assuming and he'll probably laugh in your face when he tells you that actually, no, he WASN'T going to propose.

    Or you can wait until he does propose and tell him that while you do see yourself marrying him, you feel like it's currently not the right time for y'all to get married.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Just mention it in a conversation before the day comes... start up a marriage talk and just throw it in there... he'll pick it up

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  • I figure you can either find a story or better - invent a story that either you or your girlfriend tells him during some nightclub drinking in these least few nights prior... the story line would be how this gal kept hinting at her boyfriend that she wanted to wait another year or so before getting married BUT he didn't listen and pressured her to say YES or NO as if this was forever or not see me again. It broke up a most perfect union b/c he was too insensitive & impatient - What A Sad Story, don't you think, BF? After the story sinks in a bit, tell the boyfriend that's how you feel as well 1) things are like bliss now, would love for this feeling to go on a bit longer 2) you know he is The One and proves it everyday with his patience & respect for your feelings, no rush, no pushing, waiting for you to give the Obvious signs

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  • Well I would drop a hint first because you could be wrong, something along the lines of you not being ready for marriage yet (find a way to seque way into that).

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  • I guess so. It's best he know right away than to be embarrassed by being turned down, especially if it might be in front of people, whether it's at a friendly party or a restaurant. Just tell him that if he is thinking of proposing to you soon, then he should hold off on it for now because you are not ready for that yet.

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  • Just put bridezilla or anything about marriages on tv while he is there and casually say you are so not ready for marriage right now...

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  • Yay! I can feel his heartbreak a thousand miles away. Just remark you're not interested in martial bliss yet. If he still insists, break up. Either way he isn't in for a great Valentines

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  • Well you dont have to get married right away and nothing really changes when you get engaged or even marriage, kids and a joint mortgage are far bigger commitments. Can you picture yourself marrying him one day or is he just a guy your with now. A refusal would turn most guys off from marrying you and he would probably re evaluate the relationship after such a big show of commitment.

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  • Just bring up a casual conversation and say something like "Do you ever think about marriage? Because I do a lot and I want you to propose to me in x years/months" Don't even hint him that you know.

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  • How long have you been together

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    • Since we were 15 so almost 10 years now. And I know it's a long time but I'm still young you know.

    • Ok if your not ready yet you should just dump his ass

What Girls Said 8

  • If you can think of a casual way to have a good mature conversation that slips that topic in and just mention how great your relationship is now and in the future how amazi your lives will be when you are ready to make that next step in your relationship

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  • You should see if he actually does propose, and if he does then tell him you're not ready for marriage yet and that you want to wait a little bit for that next step in commitment.

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  • Bring it up some other way and just be honest. Don't mention that you think he's planning on it. Just say something about how young you feel and how if you were to be asked to marry someone now you'd say no, even if you wanted to marry that person leather down the line. Bring it up so that its on you and not on him

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  • Declining even before he gets to ask sounds shitty.

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  • Make a joke about it be like omg imagine getting married like at this point in our lives lol I don't know how we would do it and say why you're not ready

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  • It's kind of dumb to assume he will propose, you will end up looking stupid if he dumps you on Valentine's day and you say after you tell him you know he is going to propose

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  • if you refuse he would just dump you

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  • Just drop some subtle hints , like hey babe I love the way we are now , we are so good together just like this , don't need anything to change , it's perfect the way it is now blah blah blah. Along those lines basically no need to full on say I don't want to get married right now

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