Should I tell a guy I had a casual relationship with that im pregnant and having his child?

We're both young and I understand a child can be costly and can take away from your youth but I want to have the child and when I got checked it was two months in I just couldn't get rid of it then. I'm now 6 months in and I'm wondering if I should tell him? I don't want him to feel obligated to take care of the baby so that's why I have not said anything.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • *-If you want the guy to have a role in your life and in your child's life, you'd better tell him he's gonna be a dad.
    *-If you want your child to get the child support it's entitled too, you have to tell it the guy.
    *-Child support is a child's right, not the mother's right. But if the guy fails to pay it, the girl usually is the one who has to pay all costs, which is hard, thus sharing costs is a better idea:

    http://money.cnn.com/2014/08/18/pf/child-cost/

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A child can mostly take away from your youth?
    Soo not true, I got pregnant at 22 and enjoyed my youth.
    Yes, things will be way different but you can still go out and have fun when the time is due (it's just that everything has to be scheduled now).
    It all honesty, the news you're about to break is any casual sex partner's nightmare.
    He may encourage you to get an abortion.
    How do you feel about that?
    Whatever you decide to do with your pregnancy, it's only fair that you're honest with him.

    "I don't want him to feel obligated to take care of the baby".
    It's his! He should feel obligated. Last time I checked, it takes two to tango.

    I think you should make wiser decisions with the men you sleep with because they seem more like "boys" if anything (if thats their reasoning).
    I think generally speaking, women need to be smarter.
    It's great to have casual sex, but accidents do happen.
    Women need to know that they are potentially choosing their child's father.
    So if you sleep with a low life or a dead beat, that is exactly the type of man you will have in your life.
    Sleep with men that have more quality to them.

    Whatever you decide,
    As said before he deserves to know (he may surprise you and react differently than you expect, hopefully).

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What Guys Said 7

  • I think you should be honest with him - He deserves to know and the child in the future may want to know about him plus there is an obligation on him to help you with the child if only financially.

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  • If he's basically a good guy and you feel he can and wants to be a positive in the life of your child then tell him.
    If he's not a good guy then why would you want to involve him in your child's life? It wouldn't be fair to your child.

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  • I think he at least has the right to know he is having a child. But tell him you expect nothing of him.

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    • The thing is I feel like if I tell him and he decides he doesn't want to be part of my baby's life then 10 years later decides he's all grown up and ready for the child it'll be too confusing to my boy. Because I just plan to tell him I got a sperm donor or something.

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    • Oh so just say "welp baby in my ho-ing days, I had sex with some guy and you're the product of that wonderful 'relationship' oops"

      And to know he has a father somewhere that doesn't want to be involved in his life?

      Guys I only ask this because he does seem like the sort of person that's kind of selfish and wouldn't want to be involved and I don't blame him he's only 22 there's no better time to be selfish than now.

    • It is always better then living a lie

  • You should definitely tell him - he's got a right to know! You can tell him there's no expectations and see how that goes... Just be prepared he might not believe you at first...

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  • You obviously need to tell him, that's his child too. He needs to be there for the baby if not the kid will grow up having problems later on in life because his father was not there.

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  • He should have known the moment you knew.

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  • Nope, don't tell him

    It'll be funny

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What Girls Said 11

  • Yes you should tell him. He has a right to know. He deserves the opportunity to be a father to his own child. A father's love is as equally important In a child's life as the mothers.

    When your baby gets older he/she will question why the father isn't in his/her life. It's going to be hard to explain it's because you made the decision for him.

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  • Of course you should. He has a right to know. Just because you THINK he might bail on you doesn't mean he will. Also, he is obligated to take care of the baby. You're being selfish if you keep your child from their father and if you are at some point in a difficult place in life where you can't provide for your child then you might need that child support money from him. Your child shouldn't suffer from your poor choices.

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  • Um, he's the father. He deserves to know.

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    • Of course he fucking does. This should be basic common sense to anyone who's not a horrible person. The kid deserves to know who their dad is too. They deserve to have a relationship. I don't know why this is seriously a question

    • @M_A_X I was thinking the same thing

    • Depends on the guy. Some are nothing more than sperm donors, sadly.

  • Yes, he has a right to know. It would be extremely tacky for you to withhold such major information.

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  • I always struggle with questions like these. Personally I've always wanted to be a single mother, and raise and adopt children on my own. So I don't know if you should tell the father if you want to be a single mother. I do know the child will most probably ask about his father one day so you should be prepared for what you will say to him/her.

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    • Never heard of anyone wanting to be a single mother unless the farther was abusive, mean etc in some way.

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    • @funny_strange_man I told you. This is something I struggle with. I know my child might want to know its father, but I still can't help but not want to tell the father I was pregnant. I honestly would consider adoption or sperm bank to avoid this issue

    • What if they still ask? Are you going to tell them you did not want the father to know because you wanted to be a single parent

  • One of my friends never knew who her father was. My friend didn't really care that much because she was raised by her stepdad. So he was her dad.

    Some guys can freak out. He could insist on being in the delivery room when she doesn't want him there. He could cause all kinds of problems about custody and trying to control her and how she raises the child. So I can understand not wanting to tell him. I don't know what the right thing is to do, but I do understand.

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  • tell him, it's his responsibility afterall

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  • what the hell
    tell him !

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  • Tell him it's his child I think he deserves to know

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  • yes ofc

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  • He is obligated to help with the child because he helped you have the baby
    He does not have to marry you but he has to help because you did not make the baby by yourself
    He was responsible for getting you pregnant too

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