Would you date a girl that already had a child?

I met this girl a month and a half ago on a night out she's only 20 I'm 24 I never expected her to have a child because she was so young. We went out a few times then she told me she has a little girl who's 1. I was a little taken aback, so the next day she brought her to lunch with her and it felt a bit weird I don't know why. Her ex used to physically abuse her that's why she's not with him. I really like her she's extremely good looking but everyone I've asked have said they wouldn't have a relationship with a girl who already had a child.

Whats your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, I think you should keep seeing her if you really like her. Who cares what anyone else thinks? They aren't dating her. You need to make the decision that is best for you.

    Maybe this person could be a really awesome person. Perhaps she would be a really great girlfriend. Why let someone like this go because they have a child?

    Yes she is young, but due to her history, it makes sense she has a child. Abusive people usually like to control others. Perhaps he got her pregnant knowing that having a kid would make it easier to control her. Abusive relationships follow patterns. The most important thing is that she isn't with him anymore.

    I'm 26 and I find that 75-85 percent of guys I meet online already have kids. The only reason I would turn a guy away, would be if he literally just had a kid (like a week ago) or if he didn't want any more kids (I want kids one day).

    Other than that, I would date a guy with kids. It's kind of the way things are now a days. Most people already have kids by a certain age.

    But just because someone has kids, doesn't mean they can't be a great partner.

    Hopefully you will give her a chance!

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    • Were now in a relationship because I've decided her little girl is not an issue and the kids quite easy to love too.

    • I'm glad to hear that! :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • If I wasn't married, I'd date a single parent on two conditions :
    1. The children's dad and his mom are completely out of the picture: no visiting rights, no shared child education. I don't want to cope with a jealous ex.
    2. The children are some 4 years away from hitting puberty. The time needed for them to accept me. I don't want to cope with an adolescent playing me out against his/her dad and granny.

    Thus , what about the child's dad and her paternal granny?

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    • Her ex used to hit her so he has no rights to her daughter!

    • Show All
    • Court, she's not allowed either

    • I don't see many more possible problems than with another girl.

What Girls Said 8

  • As a Mother myself, I wouldn't introduce a guy I was "just dating" to my child so early on.
    Imagine if things didn't work out with you, and she went on 5 different dates within 7 months. That means she would have introduced her kid to 5 different men.
    She really has to put more thoughts into her decisions as a New Mother.
    If I were single, I'd let a guy know about my child but I wouldn't introduce him into my child's life until years later (when I knew we were serious).
    Right now the relationship is fresh.
    This is a bad move on her part.
    Especially, since you have no experience with children (this can be seen as a huge nono or red flag).

    Whether someone would date a girl with a child has to do with their personal preference.
    Since she introduced her child to you so early on, it's possible she is seeking a father figure for her child (right away).
    Whether you feel you are capable of taking on this role is up to you.

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  • flipping this around, no i wouldn't date a guy with a kid.

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  • I have his problem. I'm a young mom and not a lot of guys my age want to jump in to parenthood, which is okay. I'm not in a hurry for a relationship. Its mainly just what you think. Are you ready to raise a child? Most women with kids don't want to mess around with a guy who isn't serious about a future. Its up to you.

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    • I am ready for a child, I would love to have own kids soon

    • So I'd say give it a shot. You might be surprised and end up loving the child as your own. And I'm sure she's probably open to more children.

    • Her little girl is quite cute she's a mini her, they literally have the same face 😂

  • Just because people you asked wouldn't doesn't mean you shouldn't. If you really like her then date her. I'm sure the more you're with them the less awkward the situation will be.

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  • hmmmm i think no

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  • Stick at it with her, maybe if she was abused it wasn't her choise to have a kid and it sounds like she could really use somebody to make her smile. The fact that she it only twenty and is raising a child on her own means she is special, caring and determined.

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  • It's sad that this has an impact on whether or not you like her. Personally if I were with a guy and found out he has a child I'd just want to be worthy of taking care of that child with him more than anything else and it wouldn't have an impact on what I thought of him.

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  • Her kid is 1? I wouldn't date her lol usually they're still dealing with their "ex" in a romantic way when the kid is still so small.

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What Guys Said 13

  • my thoughts are girls like that are messed up. would be completely different if she was 24-25 but at 20 that means she was dumb at 18 without parental supervision clearly. probably messed up not definitely, just keep you eyes open for red flags. and make sure she's not using you. i wouldn't pay for the first couple dates just to see if she actually comes back

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  • already tried, shit didn't work out.

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    • Why didn't it work out?

    • young girls that have children, from my experience, are mainly into just having fun, and she was all about a good time, albeit she is a good mother and makes sure to stay safe, her main goal was to just fuck around.

  • The first girl I went for in Hunie Pop was Kyanna and she's a single mother.
    I liked her enthusiasm : ^)
    vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

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  • I think dating is ok but nothing seriouse bro. But thats just me, i mean why not have fun with her. She is pretty and likes you, go for it. And if you decide you like the kid, you could help take care of her. Its up to you man, its your life so you can do what you want but i suggest you really think about this.

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  • A 20 yo girl? I'd be more a dad towards her.
    A 1 yo child? I'd be more a granddad than a dad to it.

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  • I wouldn't mind it isn't like you are immediatly gonna be a step-dad. And as long as she isn't going to make the child your responsibility i dont see the problem. Sure its not your child but you are in it for the girl not for the baby.

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  • I couldn't. i once talked to a girl that had a kid. Didn't tell me til she was ON HER WAY. she crashed and had to go back home so we never hung out.

    The child rightly comes first, and i don't wanna be just an option. could i be a step dad? maybe, but do i want to be? no.

    if you have a job, car, house, etc etc

    go for it. if you think she's too young just be friends.

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  • At my age, I have no friggin choice. Hell, silver linings, I may get invited to the kids 21st and hopefully they have an open bar!

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    • I'm sure there's woman that don't have kids at your age

  • no.
    .

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  • I wouldn't...

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  • I dont find anything wrong with it

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  • I would only have a relationship with one that is just for fun such as a friends with benefits type of thing. I would never date a single mom seriously. I don't know if I ever want to have kids myself let alone raise someone else's. Also you know you would never be put first in her eyes, he child would alway be the one she does. To much baggage and makes you question her decision making of the future and her ability as a lover. So no I would not.

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  • At this stage, I'm not ready to be a father or a husband so hell nawh. If I was ready, her being a single-mom of1 girl would not be a dealbreaker. But I would never move in with her before marrying her first

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