Can you cheat and still be a good person?

  • No. All cheaters are shitty people. A good person would never cheat.
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  • Yes. Everyone makes mistakes. You are not defined by those mistakes.
    52% (40)41% (37)46% (77)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure you can still be a good person, however asking this question ignores the fact that what was done was the absolute pinnacle of selfish behavior, that its horribly bad and severly damaging to the person being cheated on. So yeah you can still be a good person if you own up to it accept responsibility and suffer the consequences then attempt to rectify the problem even if it means breaking up with the person or doing something that would be detrimental to you. You do not automaticly get to still be a good person after doing it, you have to earn that distinction again.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know at least one long-time married couple whose relationship is as strong as it is, at least partly, BECAUSE of cheating.

    Hear me out here.

    Dude in this marriage came from one of those classic broken families, with parents who just took off, foster parents who weren't really too much there either, the whole shebang. MAJOR trust issues with anyone, anywhere, anytime. I mean, he couldn't even leave his laptop bag on a couch at a party full of his own friends, ffs -- that's how little he trusted ANYONE with ANYTHING. He'd literally haul all his possessions right along into the bathroom to take a piss.

    With his emotions, he was exactly the same way. His #1 instinct was to be secretive about absolutely everything -- even when NOTHING actually sketchy was going on. That was just the way he grew up, in an abusive household where literally any given random action could be "punished" arbitrarily, sometimes severely.

    Ok, you get the kind of background, here, that we're talking about.

    Anyway, long story short, dude got married to one of my girlfriends, and he fucked around with this ex of his, behind her back, a few times. It wasn't just one time, either -- it was probably a few liaisons, at least, before it all came out. Who knows, mb he was hitting other pussy too and only God will know.

    She found out, and she was absolutely devastated.

    and then HE was absolutely devastated, because he REALLY DID NOT REALIZE the impact that his actions would have on his wife.
    Really, he had NO concept of "trust" at all, because of the way his whole life had been, up to that point. He simply had no idea of this whole notion that he was violating in the first place.

    He was absolutely devastated, by how devastated SHE was.

    She thought about leaving him. He came to me about it, because, well, I like to talk to people. I could tell that this whole emotional light bulb had flicked on inside his head. A whole new world.

    Along with others, I convinced my girlfriend not to leave him.

    It was the right decision.

    Directly BECAUSE of that experience, her husband actually understands what trust is, and what it's all about, and how fragile it can be. His whole behavior is literally night and day different -- he doesn't even have the weird secretiveness about random shit, anymore. He's so... normal, now.

    And let me tell you, that boy is gna be faithful to his wife, now, until his last dying breath.

    These issues are not always one-dimensional.

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What Guys Said 35

  • Yes, it's possible but cheating is a big character flaw and also cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision, it's a choice.

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  • I believe everyone can change, however that's irrelevant to other people because no matter how good of a person you will become, in the eyes of others you are still a cheater. And that's a part of the responsibility that one must take for his own actions.

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  • While many cheaters are shitty people, maybe even most, this question asks CAN you be a good person who cheated. Not are you likely to be good. To that end, I have to point out just how often truly decent people fuck up ever so royally. Sometimes the best among us make the biggest mistakes.

    So yes. You can cheat and still be a good person. It's a real shitty thing to do, no matter what. Thats for sure. But it doesn't make you a shitty person on the whole.

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  • No... They can all go to hell

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  • BETRAYAL is NOT a mistake. Stop defending your cheap actions people. It's not like your penis accidently entered her vagina (or vice versa).

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  • i have stopped seeing girls to bang other girls. i have banged multiple girls during the same time frame but I've never dumped a girlfriend or cheated because thats not the point of the commitment. if you lose interest with your girlfriend you dump her there cuz the attraction was lost, dont drag her out til some easy pussy comes along you losers

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  • I mean... it's possible to make mistakes and still be a decent person. It's not something I'd personally put up with even once, though. That's a pretty severe betrayal, even if it's a mistake.

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  • I suppose but it all depends on how you feel afterwards, why you did it in the first place, among other things.

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  • Mistakes can happen whether you are good or a bad person, but if you truly love someone, you shouldn't cheat and you should be able to resist temptations whether you are drunk or not.

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  • Sometimes people have terrible relationships, but cheating won't make it right.
    Some couples start off great then turn out to be awful.

    Just imagine seeing your partner licking/sucking another person off and looking back in shock. Wickedness is what cheaters have in them to do that... wickedness and sorriness.

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  • Good and bad are subjective. It's easy to play fast and loose with words like that.

    Now, cheating is objectively bad... but the question that's really being asked here is "Are we defined by our actions"

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  • If you're gonna cheat then fucking dump them because you obviously don't care about them much as you say you do

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  • I guess you can be. But i personally wouldn't date somebody who is known to cheat. I wouldn't be able to trust them and that would make for a crappy relationship. Friends? Yes. Relationship? No.

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  • Maybe but only if they had been cheated on first (by the person they cheated on) or the person they are cheating on was abusive. i guess it depends what was going on in the person's head at the time.

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  • What, are you trying to build more of a gray area than there already is? In a way, you can. However, you are just a wolf in sheep's clothing in this kind of situation.

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  • If she decided to stop this act then she will be a good person , but is she always cheats then she's a horrible person

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  • Nope. But cheaters always like to find a way to somehow convince themselves and others that they're good people.

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  • It's one big flaw. My friend has cheated several times, though, and I still hold him in great esteem. I guarantee you that he's a better friend than most people I have met, although he isn't very good as a partner.

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  • You breakup you douchebag... Have respect for yourself and your S/O what if they did it to you... That's messed up have some decency

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  • to me they are two different thing. a good person will help other, a cheater is just untrustworthy

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  • Being trustworthy is the start of being a good person. It doesn't make you a good person, but it's kind of where you start. If you're cheating, you have even started towards becoming a good person.

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  • Yeah, doesn't mean others have to like or respect you though.

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  • Would never date a cheater. Would never respect one in a relationship either unless they can decently prove they can stay with only one person, if they make a second mistake by cheating. All respects lost

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  • maybe you're a cheater but help the poor? it happens

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  • Interesting that women are less judgmental about cheating.

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  • Nah.. Sloots gon sloot.

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  • there's no such thing as a good person

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  • Why would people agree to the second? I don't understand.. must be cheaters

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  • haha, Hitler was a good person. He just made mistakes.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 23

  • Yes, you can be a good person overall.

    But maybe a horrible one for a relationship.

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  • Yes you can cheat and still be a good person. People make mistakes, like you said and people tend to be very good judges of others actions and very good lawyers of their own actions. Everyone makes mistakes, they are just different mistakes.

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  • I definitely don't believe in "accidentally" cheating and definitely do not condone it, but I do believe that one can feel guilty afterwards and regret it, and learn from that mistake. People make all sorts of mistakes and bad choices, but the important thing is that you learn from them and don't repeat them.
    I have never cheated and would never consider it, but I have been cheated on in the past. I think some people just don't think before they do things.
    Like I said, I definitely don't condone it, but I don't think it automatically makes someone a terrible person for life. They can choose to change and never cheat again, or they can continue to be selfish. The choice is ultimately up to them.

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  • Lmao I know a cheater and he's shitty as fuck. Not necessarily because he's a cheater, but he's got a holier than thou up himself personality.

    I was blinded by it because of his "good looks" for such a long time

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  • Morality is rarely black and white. However, a person that is willing to cheat is probably not a good person in general, as they are likely to be selfish and immature.

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  • It doesn't mean you're a bad person if most of the time your intentions are good. You did a very bad choice, though.

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  • Of course. You made a mistake. everyone makes mistakes no ones perfect. You know it was wrong so you learn from that and move on.

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  • Absolutely. People make mistakes, they screw up. What defines you as a person isn't your obstacles but how you choose to overcome them. I don't expect anyone to be perfect. Actually I don't think I'd like perfection, like at all.

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  • Yes, of course. People make mistakes. Also, it depends on the level of cheating.

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  • Yes, u can. its possible to learn from what u did and find meaningful relationships, but u may have to face the consequences of such deeds which may last forever. its hard to trust a cheater. the act of cheating is fucked up.

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  • Yes question is did you do it again? Another question is are you asking and thinking about cheating? Did you already do it and now can't forgive yourself? (If yes than that's good because bad people don't care)

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  • Well, yeah 😁 But what you can't be is relation's material if you're a cheater 😕🙅🏽

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  • Yes everyone makes mistakes in life as long as you learn from it and don't do it again cause in the end it's not worth it and just hurts the other person

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  • Cheating doesn't make you a bad person but not telling your partner does.

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  • Depends on your devotion of a good person

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  • i wonder what it's like for a guy to cheat on me.. id let him cheat

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  • Cheating is so disrespectful. Either break up so you can sleep with another person, or discuss an open relationship with your partner. If they trust you and do not want an open relationship, then respect that. People make the choice to cheat.

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  • Sometimes people make a very very bad descision and put them selves in a situation to cheat. That person could be a good person and spend their entire life feeling guilty about it and ashamed every time they remember they did that.
    Those sorts of people will probably only ever do it once as they have learnt the hard way.

    Then you have others who do it frequently. They normalise their behavior.
    I am still not sure it completely makes them a bad person. But it does start to get that way.

    My ex was sexting ex girlfriends. Also arranging to meet with another girl who I suspect he had been sleeping with on and off for a year behind my back.
    It is aweful, it is a terrible thing to do to someone and from me it is unforgivable.
    However, I don't think he is a bad person all over. I think he has issues with himself to lead him to do it. I think it is an addiction from lack of esteem to have that sort of validation, affection and attention. He was bad to me and the others. But does it automatically make him a bad person? Well maybe. If he is doing it behind his new girlfriends back then absolutely yes haha

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  • No cheater are disgusting person if they don't love the person, they just have to break up with them. It's that so difficult?

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  • You can cheat and be a HAPPY person.

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  • no because you were willing to betray the trust of someone who trusts you for pleasure. you're not caring about the other persons feelings only you're own... so that makes you selfish. you're not a good person

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  • Well it doesn't make you a good person anyways...

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  • Of course you can.

    Exactly the same way you can go and murder someone!

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