- No. All cheaters are shitty people. A good person would never cheat.Vote A
- Yes. Everyone makes mistakes. You are not defined by those mistakes.Vote B
Most Helpful Guy
Sure you can still be a good person, however asking this question ignores the fact that what was done was the absolute pinnacle of selfish behavior, that its horribly bad and severly damaging to the person being cheated on. So yeah you can still be a good person if you own up to it accept responsibility and suffer the consequences then attempt to rectify the problem even if it means breaking up with the person or doing something that would be detrimental to you. You do not automaticly get to still be a good person after doing it, you have to earn that distinction again.2
Most Helpful Girl
I know at least one long-time married couple whose relationship is as strong as it is, at least partly, BECAUSE of cheating.
Hear me out here.
Dude in this marriage came from one of those classic broken families, with parents who just took off, foster parents who weren't really too much there either, the whole shebang. MAJOR trust issues with anyone, anywhere, anytime. I mean, he couldn't even leave his laptop bag on a couch at a party full of his own friends, ffs -- that's how little he trusted ANYONE with ANYTHING. He'd literally haul all his possessions right along into the bathroom to take a piss.
With his emotions, he was exactly the same way. His #1 instinct was to be secretive about absolutely everything -- even when NOTHING actually sketchy was going on. That was just the way he grew up, in an abusive household where literally any given random action could be "punished" arbitrarily, sometimes severely.
Ok, you get the kind of background, here, that we're talking about.
Anyway, long story short, dude got married to one of my girlfriends, and he fucked around with this ex of his, behind her back, a few times. It wasn't just one time, either -- it was probably a few liaisons, at least, before it all came out. Who knows, mb he was hitting other pussy too and only God will know.
She found out, and she was absolutely devastated.
and then HE was absolutely devastated, because he REALLY DID NOT REALIZE the impact that his actions would have on his wife.
Really, he had NO concept of "trust" at all, because of the way his whole life had been, up to that point. He simply had no idea of this whole notion that he was violating in the first place.
He was absolutely devastated, by how devastated SHE was.
She thought about leaving him. He came to me about it, because, well, I like to talk to people. I could tell that this whole emotional light bulb had flicked on inside his head. A whole new world.
Along with others, I convinced my girlfriend not to leave him.
It was the right decision.
Directly BECAUSE of that experience, her husband actually understands what trust is, and what it's all about, and how fragile it can be. His whole behavior is literally night and day different -- he doesn't even have the weird secretiveness about random shit, anymore. He's so... normal, now.
And let me tell you, that boy is gna be faithful to his wife, now, until his last dying breath.
These issues are not always one-dimensional.1