My boyfriend has a 17 year old daughter who is not biologically his but he raised her. She is basically his ex step daughter.
we got into a fight about her today because he bragged that he would put out money and fix the car he gave her but would not put another dime into my vehicle so I said why would you do that for her not me. He said because she's my kid, you're not.
We have an equal partnership I'm not supposed to care of you. I said but I'm still the woman you love. He said but I love her more. That ruined my day.. I am still pissed now. How do I get over hating his kids?
Most Helpful Guy
smh, lady you are whack, stop thinking the world revolves around you.
Most Helpful Girl
This is a very layered topic and I don't recommend giving too much mind to people who instantly trivialize your feelings with a dismissive tone.
This business of putting kids from previous relationships FIRST and ahead of a current relationship... particularly a stable, long term relationship... is, quite simply, cruel & demeaning. Any soul mate would have a need and desire to feel truly prioritized in someone's life. If a man cannot fully love both his kid and his new woman and make sure that you both feel cherished then he is NOT fit to be bating. You have better ways to spend your time than hurting as the second or third place woman. And at just 18-24 years of age, you're too cute and young to be playing that role. A child's needs should be met and the children should be respected but kids should not rule adult relationships. There are single parents who feel entitled to all the conveniences and benefits of a relationship, without making full effort in return and mistakenly believe their kids are the ultimate sacred trump card that entitles them to this. Your boyfriend may be one of them.
If a single parent cannot manage to divide their time and attention with possible limited resources then they will always leave their significant other feeling unsatisfied and disappointed. While it's honorable and admirable that he wants to take care of his child, it doesn't seem that he can show his care for you in a sufficient way. Don't listen to these answers then kid yourself and pretend that this does not hurt you as a childfree person. It's a tricky topic to address but studies show that people would have been happier in their relationship if the partner's children had not been there and if you can relate to that then you need to address it in order to move forward with a healthy life. Not only that but if you do not resolve this issue in your mind then you will grow to resent his child and they will KNOW it. They will know that you view them as a burden or a brat standing in the way of your happiness. You are going to fall into depression and get burnt out because so many essential elements of a balanced and healthy partnership are missing from this experience. Considering this truth, it's probably in your best interest to leave.
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