Have you cheated on someone you loved /really cared for? Why did you do it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Never cheated on anyone, but I did break a girl's heart once when I didn't feel much towards her and started becoming attracted to someone else. I did break up with her first before pursuing anything, but it felt a bit like cheating anyway since I broke up with her on the basis that I was becoming attracted to someone else.

    Also married now, but I must confess there is probably some hypothetical scenario that might occur where I might actually cheat -- a dose of alcohol, some incredibly attractive woman who is unusually aggressive, while being in a different country from my wife. I've gotten close to this situation while overseas and managed to reject her, but it made me question a lot of things.

    In general I think a man's faithfulness often boils down to his opportunities versus resilience and his attitude about sexuality. In my case, one of the good things for me is that my opportunities are few in number, I'm not the type that typically has women throwing themselves at me, and I can count the times this happened in my life on a single hand.

    My attitude on sexuality is bad for marriage, even though I'm married. Sleeping with a new woman to me beats anything in life, it beats going to some new country like Paris and seeing the Eiffel Tower. Nothing compares to it, no life achievements I can think of except perhaps the birth of a new child (maybe winning a million dollars might compare).

    I've only slept with around 30 women in my lifetime, even though I'm in my 30s, and sometimes I feel like I should have slept with more women before I got married, get it out of my system, or married later (I married at 30) after the sex drive is really low.

    In general I'd feel like half a person without my wife, but I haven't reached the stage where my mind doesn't sometimes wander what it's like to have sex with a new woman. Sex with my wife has become a routine affair, lately we're timing it to her menstrual cycle and body temperature to try to maximize the probability of having children. But it has lost some of the steamy and passionate nature of it, especially when we're trying to schedule when it happens, and I miss that kind of energy and drive people can have when they're so overcome with desire that they're tearing each other's clothes off, having sex in a bathroom stall, etc.

    That seems like it's permanently gone from my life, and some part is sad. But the sadness, I imagine, is nothing to what it would be like if I lost my wife.

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    • mind doesn't sometimes wander [/wonder] [...]

    • Thank you! I agree meaning like it doesn't mean they don't like the girl they're with but some people don't have the willpower and that's sad... It happens but if you're willing to work through it it can be better for both of yiu

What Guys Said 10

  • What?

    I have always been single and so I never did that, and even if I am to assume hypothetically , then also I would say it will never happen, because my morals, values, thought process are so high and well defined that I am totally "IMMUNE" to even the thought of cheating. Hence it will never happen.

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  • In my book, cheating only applies to marriage, even if not mine.
    But I get what you mean & sorry if you're going through this with a boyfriend or tempted to do so.

    So answers are:
    Marriage = NEVER
    Dating = abuse me enough & boss me around = "A break" until you show me it was all hormones or emotions gone wild and really love me for what I am

    During a break, I haven't actively pursued other gals other than reciprocating their friendship or taking a convenient blind date as a favor to a gal friend. Discovered loose guys w/o girlfriend to protect them don't have a chance in seeing that big sex truck mowing them down! Even a first date had her hands in my pants "playing" and acted surprised she launched a rocket, once I was fully exposed & accessible?

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  • These get asked all the time. lol, it's probably really rare, and even if someone did why would they admit to it to a bunch of online strangers?

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  • I dont think Id cheat on someone even if we were just fwbs. That would be dishonoring the agreement and putting their health at risk.

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  • Never!!! I have never cheated on anyone, I believe in being honest with the person, and if I do leave a relationship, I try to do it with a little dignity and self respect.

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  • Nope and never will.

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  • I get bored sometimes a lot ha

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  • Nope. Never.

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  • Family, not happy relationship, search for somebody else, discover you're better off with newfound. I imagine that's majority of what happens nowadays

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  • Sad to say yes. My own experience, I did it because I was young and invincible. Watch movies about parting , wanting to be that guy, so to speak, a lot of selfish reason. They were more justification for my self not exscuses. Even though I loved deeply at the end of the day. At the end of it all I'm the only one who lost for my mistakes. That how we live and learn.

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    • Thank you for sharing, asking because I'm still dating a guy and he cheated on me. I forgave him pretty easily because I knew he had a rough past with girls. Just wondering if he actually cares - it's much better now like we have half an hour phone calls and stuff but yeah got me thinking ya know?

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    • @Toad-1 possibly but he knows I'm too good to lose and if he did it again I'd be gone. I've never seen someone so sorry in my life than the day he told me

    • Agreed! Sorry don't know why it posted a reply to another comment on yours

What Girls Said 10

  • No, I have never cheated on anyone before. I also don't get how people can cheat when they supposedly care for a person so much and love them so much. If you love a person, that person will be in the back of your mind when temptation strikes, and if you care about them and their feelings, you would be able to resist temptation.

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  • No, I haven't, but I've had it happen to me. I don't know his reasons, but I really think he just didn't think before he let his impulses take over. I broke up with him over it and he's made it very clear that he would do anything to have me back, but while we've remained close friends and I've forgiven him, I wouldn't be able to trust him again.

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  • Nope nope nope. And never will. I've been cheated on and it's a pain that id literally never put anyone through. it's just awful and i wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I put someone through that pain consciously.

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  • no never. never will.

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  • I have never been into a relationship, but if I would be in a relationship I wouldn't cheat.
    What's the point in cheating?
    If there is a problem, discuss, don't start to sleep around because I don't know what.

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  • Nope. I have not.

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  • No, that's never crossed my mind

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  • This hairy guy came up to me and I just couldn't help myself. He was so cute and wanted to hug me and jump on me. I fell in love. Then I came home and my dog was all suspicious, sniffing me all over. "YOU WERE WITH ANOTHER DOG. I CAN SMELL HIM. HOW COULD YOU?"

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  • I had never done!

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  • My fiancé got bored with our sex so we had a threesome with another man. He then was okay with me just sleeping with the other guy. I felt very unwanted and he had even told me that he thought I looked prettier when I was skinny and he had a lot of expectations for me in bed. It fucked me up to the point where I could no longer enjoy sex with him. I loved him because we had been together for 8 years and he meant a lot to me. I ended up continuing to sleep with the other guy even after my fiancé wasn't 'bored' anymore. The guy didn't think of it as cheating.. But I still felt like it was. It got to a point where I couldn't even look my fiancé in the eyes without feeling like he deserved better. It was a very unhealthy relationship. I would never do it again and I have learned a lot about myself in a very painful way.

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