Why is it so hard for me to date or get into relationships?

Well if you're in my postion, feel free to leave your opinion on the matter. it seems to me and no matter how i try to will through the pain of rejection. that almost every woman talks to me then completly ignores and blocks me. what am I doing wrong?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your inherent fear probably plays out during your interaction with girls. In short, they can feel your awkwardness and lack of confidence. Although you make an effort to talk to them, the last time I checked, it takes a lot more than that to get a girl interested.

    While guys primarily place physical attractiveness at the top of priorities when finding a girl, this is not true for women. Showing a girl that you are confident, and that you can take care of everything life throws at you is by far the most attractive quality they see in a man. Girls want to know that her man will squish that giant spider, fix her flat tire or the broken faucet, and decide when and where the date and dinner will be.

    If you are stuttering and quivering in your panties as you try to talk to a girl, the first impression you give is that you're a pansy who can't even take care of yourself, much less her.

    That is the fatal flaw of most shy men, and the primary reason why they have poor success in finding a relationship. Not because they are unattractive or don't have money. There are lots of ugly, obese American men who can find a partner because they are confident.

    • i don't think it has anything to do with confidence. girls these days are super picky and superficial. you can't win, it's like putting yourself through the ringer for a girl who'll end rejecting you anyway.

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    • so, how does that make things better? if anything that is like saying. "you have to lay down the law, and be authoritative" really? do we even want to go out with girls like that?

    • You really don't get it. Which is probably why girls don't connect with you.

      I said a man needs to demonstrate CONFIDENCE.
      Somehow, you took that to mean being a DICTATOR and having to "lay down the law".

      What I described are signature traits of a Leader. What you described was the signature traits of a "boss" or "micromanager".


      Women are naturally more docile than men. I blame testosterone. Women naturally like men to take the lead on many aspects of the relationship. Almost every girl I know loathes it when she asks her man what he wants for dinner or where to go out, and he response "I don't know, you decide".

      It's not about being a dictator in a relationship. A dictator would tell a woman to cook dinner and do the laundry. It's about leading the way, and being in the front line when doing things together. He says, "Let's make dinner and do the laundry together tonight".


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How do you communicate with them?

    • i start off by being polite and saying hello. some respond, some just end ignoring me completely.

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    • Maybe they font think sincerity.

    • regardless, maybe I'm just not cut out for online dating. it seems that I'm doing something wrong, so why keep going through with it?

What Guys Said 5

  • I am not in your position because by choice I have decided never to date, never have to have any relationships and to stay single till the end. However I can understand your situation, yes it's hard when you keep getting rejected maybe you are not doing anything wrong, you might be just having bad luck.

    Well, maybe women notice something about you that they don't like but then every woman won't reject you, that's strange!!.

    • i'm telling what it boils down to. my appearence. they don't find me attractive, plain and simple.

    • Ok, then you can work on your appearance, looks can be fixed. There is a solution to that.

  • My case is different and similar. Different because something happens first that stop me from even asking them out, it don't get rejected because I don't get to this point and nor the girls get angry with me (I was "forced" to friendzone 3 last year because of other factors). Similar because I'm being unlucky. So, I think that you should keep trying, it's probably bad luck.

  • It's simply not possible for EVERY woman to reject you, unless you have some serious flaw which you're not mentioning here.

    • The only thing i can think is my appearence. my looks, otherwise i'm not sure what else could it be.

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    • @aficionado.

      Yes, you have a point.

    • I don't know, maybe i should up. it's pointless and it's too sufferable in my opinion.

  • Well I'm not sure what you are doing wrong and you are the one who has to figure that out. Maybe you have poor body language or maybe you could work on your self image. You might be coming off as rude or something. I don't know, you just have to figure that out for yourself.

    • I honestly don't have a clue. like i said its probably due to my appearence. I don't know if they find me creepy or something or what. almost every girl i meet does it to me.

    • Maybe it's just the fact that you are starting a convo out of the blue and they weren't expecting it. They wonder why you are talking to them and if you are just some creep. Maybe approach them in a more relaxed way or be more smooth with your opening line. Like if you are shopping for food and ask where the broccoli is. This is more understandable than if you just come up to her and say 'hey what's up! I'm a random stranger' if you know what I mean.

      Like a social setting would be more easier to start a convo rather than just randomly out and about. If you do approach a girl out and about. Make her feel comfortable in the situation rather than putting her on the spot.

    • most of this is online, but I see your point.

  • You're most likely talking to the bitches and better off without them.