My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 months. When we first started dating, he used to talk to me all throughout the day, whether we were calling or texting. Now lately, I'm lucky if he calls or texts me first. I usually have to contact him first, and we talk for like 2 minutes, and he'll say, "I'll call you back later." Which usually doesn't happen. Then, when I say "You never called me back yesterday like you said you were going to." He gets all mad at me and says, "I don't like girls who tell me what to do, and that's all you do anymore." I rarely get to see him as is, like once a week even though we live in the same neighborhood, so it would be nice to talk to him. Any advice?
Most Helpful Guy
This is one of those "two-way-street" things. So let me tell you what's happening here:
At first, he loved talking to you for hours on end, and probably in a way, might miss it too. But after you spend enough time with someone, you become well aquainted. He's just gotten real comfortable with you, that he's trying to blend his daily life from before you with the life he now shares with you, so he see's long phone calls as irrellevent at this point in the relationship, and prob assumed you would progress the way he has, which isn't always the case. He's trying to show you his independence from you, to show that your a part of his life. Not his entire freaking life. Those are bad love notions. Scary..
So, now that your just saying, "You didn't call me" instead of, "How come we don't talk as much anymore?" I don't know what tone of voice you like to use, but try the "endearing genuine care concern", that's a good tone for this conversation.
Now, here's where HE makes the mistake: When he felt threatened by your complaint about not feeling like you spend enough time in his presence, or whatever, he takes the offensive. He may start to think your smothering him a bit. Hopefully, your not. This is a "two-way" misunderstanding. Just come clean about your desire to fix this, and ASK HIM what he's feeling.
When you ask him straight out and honest what he's feeling, and all he says are the words, "I dunno" or "nothing", then he's hopeless, and he's a loser, and he doesn't have feelings, and he won't try to fix anything, cause he obviously never gave this any real thought. ANY other words besides those show you that he actually cares. Look for that. It's important. I'm a guy, I know all of our tricks. And I'm not saying he is a loser. All he has to do is not say either one of those two phrases when you ask that important question, and he'll prove himself not a douche-bag. And do all this in person.1