Do you have online dating hang ups?

Of any sort.

My only one is that I need to get over the hang up that I feel like I'm lying to dudes on tinder about what I look like even though I clearly state that I'm not skinny and have a full body selfie in my pictures.

Cause I'm pretty sure that's what's majorly keeping me from ever meeting up with the ones who want to meet up.

I'm just afraid that they're going to be like... mega disappointed or super angry when we meet up so I always think of reasons not to.

anyways! Now that I've made myself vulnerable... what are your hang ups?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you and I are similar but also have a lot in common with so many other people. In my case I feel the way I describe my personality on dating sites/apps is too negative and people tell me that I have to lighten up but I am afraid of giving wrong impression and people don't think I am genuine which is the number one thing I want to get across.
    Now your situation
    (1) As you say you describe yourself and provide plenty of pictures so you can't be said to be hiding anything.
    (2) I have seen lots of your pics on this site and through your posts I know your height and weight. Lets start with the fact you can carry those numbers very well and look healthy with a normal, average bodyshape. What else have you got, you have beautiful brown eyes and great new purple hair. Also from your posts I always found your personality very engaging and funny.
    (3) To be totally honest I don't think you have anything to fear in meeting new people. You are always open with them but the fact is you have nothing to hide, you would be a very nice date to have. I think the main person you have to convince Is yourself. Plenty of guys would be delighted to meet you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They are not going to be disappointed. It's not like you're fooling them. You already mentioned that you clearly state them the fact that you're not skinny. And if someone doesn't end up liking you, who the fuck cares? No one will blame you since it was their decision to go out with you.
    Just remember! You don't owe anything to anyone.
    I think all your worries come from poor self-esteem, which is a pity since you're actually good-looking.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I wonder why you feel like you are lying to them even though you aren't or why you think they'd be disappointed or angry lol, I mean I've seen your pictures same as everyone else you sure you're not skinny but you certainly don't have a bad body type/shape at all or anything that is unattractive.

    I actually don't have anything like that, as far as I am concerned if they don't like me for who I am and what I look like *shrugs* to bad, don't need em because I won't change. Probably the only thing I get is nervous on a first date but I mean that's pretty normal so it's nothing to huge.

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    • I'm not sure why I feel like im lying. Probably because I have this preconceived notion in my head that dudes that look like the ones who want to meet up with me, aren't interested in girls who aren't super athletic and fit.

    • Maybe for something that was a pure physical relationship like friends with benefits but for guys who are more interested in an actual relationship 5/10 times it's your personality that will keep them around after all looks fade, it's what's on the inside that counts.

      And even for a guy like me who's a health nut and prefers healthy and fit women I don't see or find anything wrong with what you got of course I belong to the latter group, but you shouldn't worry so much if they really are so shallow that they'd downright be upset that you don't look the way they thought would they really be worth being around in the first place?

    • True, true.

  • Yes, many girls on Tinder lie about how they look like or what they want. For example, overweight women almost ALWAYS use camera angles that only show their face in a way that makes them appear skinny. Then they give you a link to their instagram and suddenly they gained 25lbs.

    Girls on Tinder also lie about what they want on there. Some say relationships are what they want but quickly get bored with courting or are disappointed if you don't want to hookup with them.

    In short,
    I've had well over 100 matches over the last time I used tinder and now, but have yet to meet a single girl off there.

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  • My only hang up with online dating is the "shame" of it.
    Not saying it should be there, but it is.
    Actually that's not true, since I don't drive and I'm not looking for a plain hookup, tinder doesn't look good for me. Plus I'm seventeen and over 250 soo...

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    • Must be a young person thing, because I know people who openly talk about using online dating and I openly talk about having like an okcupid and tinder account and I feel no shame nor do I get shamed for it.

    • Huh. Actually neither have i.
      It's prolly just me lol

    • Also, go to bed! Good grief

  • No, not yet at least and there's nothing wrong with how you look at ALL, I'd meet up if I was them, lol. You're your worst critic, stop being so hard on yourself.

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    • I knowwwww, 2016 is the year of me... I need to stop harshin' my own vibe. Easier said than done lol

    • Lol, you're gorgeous, start owning it :-P

  • My biggest hang up is distance. fat or not fat doesn't bother me. I'm not gonna look like the terminator. i don't expect girls to look like models. uf you can turn me on with your brain, you got me lol

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  • hang ups? Try brick wall behind every door - so many girls, so few responses.

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  • Have cam sex before you meet, that way there's literally nothing left to be ashamed of.

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  • When I switched from the app to texting. I feel weird I don't know

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  • The fact I'm able to get a lot of dates but have nothing come out of it and I don't know what I'm doing that causes them to go nowhere. Just feels like I'm in a revolving door of dates and not by choice. Even as a guy, quantity of women doesn't mean shit.

    I also hate the fact there's a lot of attention whores on there. Not all of them are of course, but I hate the ones that'll talk to you for awhile or talk, ignore, and then talk to you again after awhile and then once you ask them out, they ignore you or I'm not looking to date or some bullshit excuse and then act like you're the one with issues.

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    • All valid hang-ups.

    • Show All
    • Yeah the shitty thing is, I'm not afraid of rejection at all. What I do hate is being led on or having girls show lots of interest on the first date and even suggest meeting up again or telling me how good of a time they had only for them to flake/ignore me. Or if they do respond, they'll take forever, never initiate conversation, and when I do ask them they won't respond or make some excuse. Only girls who wanted to keep seeing me were ones I wasn't interested in. And I'm not gonna settle because that's just desperate.

      I don't like to over analyze at all, but it naturally happens in those cases.

    • What would you do to fix this?

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, I didn't really have any, but I am self-conscious about my stomach. They never seemed to mind though.

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