Why do I have trouble with making guys want to commit to me as their girlfriend?

I'm pretty particular with dating and I've only met and actually gone out with a few guys I was interested in dating and possibly further and every time they have all shied away when I ask them "where we are going". Am I too aggressive? How should I act and what should I do so that I dont appear as aggressive and will make the guy I like want to commit to me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • So what do you mean when you say you're "pretty particular" are you talking exclusively looks?

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    • They just have to be emotionally, intellectually and physically compatible with me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • So you ask "where are we going?" before you say yes? If that's correct, THAT is where you are going wrong. It takes courage to ask someone out. Cut the guy some slack and just say yes. Ask what day/time and if he will pick you up or you will meet. If the day comes and he hasn't told you where you are going ask how to dress. If he still hasn't told you when he picked you up then ask so you can tell your "worried" roommate where you will be and when to expect you home. YES, set boundaries so he knows if you are expecting to come home or you could be up for spending the night.
    Sorry if I misunderstood any of your post.

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    • NO lol 'where we are going' meaning are we heading towards a relationship or not

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    • I assumed that the kissing and hugging and having sex was heading toward that but after sex I asked him that and was very surprised to find out that wasn't really what he wanted right now

    • Always set boundaries before sex... ALWAYS. Best for no misunderstanding on either side. Just tell men you don't have sex outside a serious relationship

What Guys Said 2

  • At what point in the relationship do you ask that?

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    • just yesterday, weve know eachother and talked for months and started hanging out a lot a month ago. he is an amazing guy and very smart but he says he's bad with emotion. like, after sex i had asked him if he saw me as girlfriend material and he didn't realize i wanted a relationship even tho we met online on a DATING site lol and that was on my profile.
      also, i told him i took his kisses and hugs and wanting to spend lots of time with me as him having romantic feelings for me but he says he thought that was just playing :(

    • Girl run don't waste your time on him. I think you maybe need to hold of sex at the start of the relationship so commitment to eachother can be established. You should also tell the guy you want a serious relationship and not a friends with benefits.

  • If you're too picky, you'll never meet someone

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What Girls Said 2

  • Do not down or change your values just to get guy! The guy mean for you will come in time!

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  • (1) How do you know it's you being too aggressive? Did anyone complain or bring back word to you?

    (2) Perhaps you're allowing the wrong type of guy to approach you (who is not serious about getting a girlfriend). That's the only reason they'd shy away, unless you're asking them too soon, like after the first week...

    (3) The "where are we" is better suited for something more than girlfriend status...

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