Men- how much does money matter?

A guy who seems pretty great and pretty serious has been talking to me for months. Everyone thinks there is something going on. Thing is, 3 or more times he's brought up not having a lot of money. "I'm poor right now" "I'm broke right now" stuff like that.
So question is- does your financial situation change how you feel about getting with a girl? Or just an excuse to not do it?


0|0
0|17

Most Helpful Guy

  • Of course it changes things , a girl will expect dates from me, she will expect gifts, she will expect me to be the man and i want to be the man but if i am poor i can't provide most of that or it will be very limited so we think twice about getting with a girl, why get with a girl, not satisfy her then get dumped? its better to wait for the right time when we have the money right? some girls dont care about money that much but evnetually they all do so unless you have a plan to make some money later either by finished your education and finding a good job or starting a business most women won't stick around for long , expect of the emotionally unstable ones, and being a kinda poor guy... that sucks i have to admit but this is life.

    1|2
    0|0
    • Thank you for your very honest answer! It's interesting to hear such a different perspective. I just keep thinking 'coffee doesn't cost that much' and get frustrated with his focus on money but I hadn't thought about gifts or travel or provision as much of nbif deal because I have my own money and I'm not worried about it at all. He does have a good job and is doing well, he's just not set yet.

    • I hope he changes his mind and he probably will when he starts making enough money and prepares his life to date you, I hate to admit it but we need money to live the life and get married and buy things we need money, and women dont stick around for long these days if you dont have the money, its a sad fact and maybe you're different but eventually you will start questioning the amount of money he's making if he doesn't make enough, i hope he does in the future though , iam stuck at this point i am a college student, just enough money to get me through college, can't afford to date, go to clubs or hang out even though i really want to , its a bummer but what can you do? this is the life i was born into and all i can do is get an education and attempt to fix it and earn the money i really want and need, but at this particular moment i wouldn't make a good boyfriend and if i do find a girl i hope she is as poor as me...

What Guys Said 16

  • It does for me, honestly. If I don't have money (which is unfortunatley quite common) it means I can't do anything with her, I can't take her out I can't do what guys are suppose to do and as such tend to just not try to be with any one until the situation changes just so I don't have to worry about rejection based upon my economic status (or possible guilt trips) or feel like I'm not good enough for her because I cannot provide those things for her.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Money to me is not important, I make a livable wage if I budget correctly.

    I make it clear from the start, that I work for a living and am not loaded.

    Him mentioning his financial situation to you, you may need to look at what you are expecting of him on a date. That he has to tell you, he can't afford it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I'm not expecting much, I'd be happy with a coffee. It's more about the time to get to know one another because as of now, we only catch time between customers when he visits me at work. I think it might be more about what HE thinks a woman wants than what I actually want or need.

    • Than just tell him, that same thing.

      As I said, I bring it up that I work and am not loaded. The reason for this, is that experience has taught me to do this.

      I wear good quality cloths, and go to nice places. Women look at this and assume that I am well to do, not at all. I buy good quality clothing because they lasts, I can go to nice places because I don't go out every night or every weekend.

      As man, even today when most women say they will split the cost of a date yada yada yads. The reality is that most women expect the man to pay, and god forbid he take her up on letting her pay. Because she may smile and pay, but she will be on the phone to her friends later running you down for being a cheapskate.

  • its life for the non God beleiver

    and a tool for the beleivers.

    it dictates your lifestyle and often health. its also connected to your self image and even self esteem... its 50 percent of the reason why you can land the really hot chicks and dictates how many babies you can have. having enough money rather than lots (subjective) can also keep your marriage secure, 25 percent of divorces are said to be from money issues.

    its black and white.

    have you seen a really hot chick with a poor man? if he's under 35 it doesn't matter because he may be onto something but realistticaly you never see it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It used to but I've learne not all women care if a guys broke

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well, yeah it can be. I wouldn't call it an excuse because it's a reality. If it's not an issue for you, you should let him know that and talk about it. He probably can't afford to do the normal things of dating and I'm sure that probably bothers him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Of course it does... Women expect to be wined and dined and taken out to places for fun... If we can't do that we can't date... UNLESS you are cool with it... If you are you should say dude I don't care we can do shit for free... And I can help you look for a job or whatever... NOW THATS the type of girl I would die for...

    1|0
    0|0
  • Nope. He's letting you know since girls don't like broke guys. Even the girls who do give broke guys a chance end up dumping them quickly because a guy being broke is very unattractive to girls.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Well dating and having a girlfriend often involves paying for dinner out, drinks and stuff and he'll probably feel rather bad about not being able to give you that, so instead he avoids it altogether.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yeah it makes it hard to go out to do things since everything that's good to do costs money

    1|0
    0|0
  • I believe it can be a thought in ones mind but if you like someone and would like to be with them there are plenty of things to do that don't cost a dime.

    1|0
    0|0
    • So is it just a case of going along and showing I'm still interested?

    • Yes ma'am. Yes most men worry about taking care of their lady but if your interested regardless of the money situation (which kuddos to you) then yes still show your interest and let him know that as well. Not many woman would, great to see their are still some great ladies out there that know there's more than just money, looks or what can you do for me. 😊

  • No, financial situations do change how a lot of guys act.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'll say shit like that just to drive away the undesirables...

    1|0
    0|0
    • Fair enough but he doesn't have to drive me away if he's not interested, he just needs to stop showing up where I work to have long conversations lol.

    • No, I think you misunderstood. I can think a girl is interesting, but I'll probably say I'm broke or unemployed or something like that to see how she reacts. If she's like forget this dude, then great I don't have to waste some time on someone looking for a wallet. If she can take care of herself, then maybe I want to know a little more about her.

    • Oh! That is actually quite clever! Sort of like a woman who holds out on sex until she thinks the guy is committed. Relationship warfare lol!

  • I aspire to make millions in hopes that it will make my dating options infinite...

    1|0
    0|0
  • Guys with $$$=GF's

    0|0
    0|0
    • Guys with no $$$=Loser

    • I see where you would have a point if the guy had no job or whatever, I agree a man with no prospects would be very unattractive to most women but I don't think it's always so black and white.

    • Oh get real a poor guy is a loser

  • Women will not date you for long if you don't have money.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Totally respect your opinion and yeah if you were a bum then maybe not but I have two jobs and my own home so I don't need a man to support me completely or to have a good time :)

    • thats great and a good start but what about later? lets say you date, split the bill everytime, get married... etc , i guarantee that you will be really sick of splitting the bill it won't fee like a date and he won't feel like a man , and lets say you do get married and both of you are used to work and bring money at the end of the month, what happens when you get pregnant and have a babay? you will stay home for months if not years , can he provide for that long on his own? if he can't now he won't be able to later on and with a babay, i know its not what anyone wants to hear but everything costs money this is one of the main reason i dont really approach girls like i want cause i know iam very limited in terms of money atm so i can't afford to be a good boyfriend or a boyfriend for that matter... the fact remains, money is essential you know it and he does too.

    • Well I would be delighted to meet a women like you. Forgive me if I don't hold my breath. 😒

  • Well most girls whether they say it out loud or not DO care about a guys wealth and so he feels like he can't get a girlfriend while he doesn't have money.(Actions speak louder than words and what men are SEEING is very different from what women are SAYING).

    1|0
    0|0
    • I admit, I care about money but ONLY to the point he's making it or not. This guy has a good job, his money issues are a large mortgage and rent on an out of town apartment for work. So he's not exactly a deadbeat but obviously it's something that is on his mind. So do I just keep going along with it to show I don't mind? Or is it something he won't get past?

    • Like I said I just don't think he'll believe you're telling him the truth if you say you don't care about him being wealthy enough. Most guys have been too hurt by this point and out of protection for themselves are just not believing anymore.

What Girls Said 0

No girls shared opinions.

Loading...