Any other ladies, Disappointed with Valentine's day?

We have been together for nearly a year, and I just expected more from him today. Maybe it's bitch to say but I did. He got me flowers last minute from a grocery store, took me to a movie, and had dinner at a mediocre restaurant. I on the other hand but thought into his gift and planned ahead of time. I made a broquet full of his favorite items and bought him vapercraft stuff. I even woke up bright and early to make him breakfast.

I see my friends posting pics of purses and etc that they got and I am jealous. I kind of dont want to be romantic or thoughtful anymore because I feel like I put more effort into this than he did. I don't want to cook for him anymore or even go out for his birthday. A simple card I pick up at the grocery store last minute should suffice. I am just disappointed. I shouldn't have done anything for him at all.

Updates:
The point is I spent hours planning and making, and buying his gift. He only did something last minute when he realized I did something spectacular. I just want to be single again
Ok if I am a bitch that's fine. The point is he's unemployed and lazy. I spend time cleaning up after him and spending my money on him regularly. I even go out my way to treat him. What do I get in return? Me having to beg him to pay for my $8 sushi roll because he wanted me to pay for dinner. Going to see a movie he likes. Didn't even ask what I wanted. It was a guy movie. And 6 roses from the grocery store when he realizes how much I spent on him. I drive 2 hours to see him each weekend.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So because he did not do anything special on a stupid day, that has become commercialized. You forget all about the things he does for you threw out the year?

    Just because, you saw all your girlfriends getting things. Well a lot of the times that guys go all out for Valentines Day, is to try to cover the dumb crap they do the rest of the year.

    I saw the status a female friend has up over feeling unappreciated because of what her boyfriend did for her on Valentines Day. I just shook my head, let's see what her boyfriend has done in the months leading up to February 14th.

    He treats your 2 kids that are not his, like they are. He pays for the day care of one, and supplies all the things the other needs for school. He pays the rent, he puts groceries in the house. He helped you get out of debt, he got you a car so that you could get your kids to school and day care and get to work. He picks the kids up from day care and school, because he get off work before you do every afternoon. He pays for the babysitter, so he can take you out on dates. He looks after the kids, so you can have a break from being mommy and spend time with your friends.

    Than on this one day, she feels unappreciated because he did not do something for her. But the real kicker to me, is that she did not get him anything for this day but expected him to do things for her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was in your position once. Not that I wanted gifts, but I'd hope being together a year meant he'd know me. I would have loved a full body massage from him, that would have been extremely thoughtful, and free! I just needed his time and hands, since I worked hard and wanted to feel relaxed for once.

    You can either break up with him, if he doesn't seem to really put in any thought towards you (going to see his movie and not something you'd both like, for example). Or you can explain how you feel. Let him know you'd appreciate more thought and effort from him and give him another chance.

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What Guys Said 9

  • To be frank, you sound like a bitch. Instead at looking at the negatives, why don't you look at the positives. If you hated it that much then split up with him, but I guess that you won't do that because then you'll have nobody to spend money on you, however much it may be.

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  • Is not important what he gave you it is important that he spends time with you I'm happy I don't have a girlfriend because of the fact that I don't have to go out and spend a bunch of money even if I didn't have a girlfriend I want I want to spend a bunch of money I'd rather spend time with her

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    • Well that would be fair if I didn't have to spend so much money on him all the time because he asks me for stuff.

    • Ah well if your spending on him all the time then yes he should spend a desent amount on you I pay for what my girl want ( when I have one) but I'm More 1950 lol

  • Meanwhile, EVERY man in the entire world is disappointed with Valentine's day...

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  • with your attitude, i'd be surprised if you make it to next valentines together

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    • Yea he is not romantic at all. We probably won't make it. I'd rather be with a guy who appreciates me.

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    • Good luck to him, he doesn't have a job and is too lazy to look for one. Good riddens!!!

    • so get to it then ~^_^

  • He doesn't owe you shit just because society pushes a bullshit retail holiday telling women that they should be treated "special" because it's feb 14th.

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  • Wow. This is exactly the woman I wish to avoid. Relationships are not a competition. I'm sure he looks at his friends girlfriends and is jealous.

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  • I see you are getting some hate here but I totally get were you are coming from. Relationships are a two way street and you feel like you're the only one making an effort. All you want is to be loved and appreciated. Not be an after thought. I think you have a right to be upset and there is nothing wrong with you wanting to be treated better because you give a lot.

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  • it wasn't him who failed you but your high expectations. u must not regret of the thoughfulness you have put into it. also remember that love is not measured by how expensive his restaurant was.

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    • your misery and his carelessness (if its true and not just in your mind) point to other deeper underlying problems and lack of connection and maturity in the relationship.

      grew jealous of the purse photos? geez girl get a life.

  • that sucks... ina nutshell thats the difference between outlook of guys valentines to girls valentines

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What Girls Said 13

  • So you want material gifts? You spent the day together and went out for a meal... to me that sounds like a wonderful day. I think you're being a bit mean I'm him really, you want him to buy you shit to show he loves you? Pfft... you suck.

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    • I agree!

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    • I had to coach him into paying. He wanted me to pay. So yea I don't really want a boyfriend like this.

    • Then don't have one like that.

  • I haven't read the comments, but I can draw some conclusions from your updates. What some don't seem to get is that you aren't complaining about the value of what he offered, but about the EFFORT and THOUGHT put into it. And I totally get it. For once I wish my boyfriend organized something for us, ON HIS OWN. For once I'd love a surprise paerty or sth or a surprise date or whatever, just something he planned alone. On V day this year we sat on the couch thinking about what to do and where to go. Yeah u heard me, mine didn't even go that extra mile to take me to a restaurant :)) instead, we had a conversation about a problem we've been having and we had a usual Sunday night, just with more food (KFC, to be precise). And I pretended that was fine with me, cause he seemes really pleased with the way things went. Hope this helps you feel better :))

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  • Perhaps you have set the standard for a day that should be like every other day of the year way too high. Lower your expectations and you may be surprised!

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  • honestly you should be grateful for anything he did for you/got for you. I know a lot of girls whose boyfriends didn't get them anything. I can see why you're a little upset that you put in more effort, but some guys just don't think this day is a big deal or aren't creative. appreciate that he made some effort

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  • You sound like my sister, lol. She got her fiancĂ© a card and a video game and some candy.

    He took her to see Deadpool, and then promptly went to sleep when they got back to their house.

    She's pissed.

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    • We women put more thought into giving, it sucks being on the receiving end.

  • Nope! Me and my cousin were each other's Valentines and we video chatted all day! Valentine's Day really isn't about the gifts. I even told my last boyfriend that I didn't want any cards or candies and stuff like that for Valentine's Day and that I wanted a gift that took more thought than money.

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  • I understand where you're coming from. Boyfriend of four months didn't even realize it was Valentine's Day.

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  • Nah, Idgaf about today

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  • Shit, that's better than I got. Damn #depressed

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  • I'm pretty sure my boyfriend had me even more fucked up.😐 Befor Valentine's Day, he did not contact me for three days! Then on Valentine's Day at LITERALLY the end of the day he decided to wish me a happy Valentine's Day.

    Yup he didn't give me shit. I wasn't expecting him to anyways. Idc about the gifts all I wanted was his fucking time

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  • First of all why are you with him?

    If you say because you love him then his lack of giving you gifts and shit shouldn't be a problem and you are just being a cunt.

    Love isn't how much you do for someone or how much money you spend on them.
    Love isn't "look look at all I've done for you, you SHOULD do the same for me or that means you don't love me back"

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  • Those girls probably bought their own purses and put it on social media. Don't let your expectations rule over his own doings. At least your guy gave you something. Life will be easier if you don't compare yourself of other peoples lives and just enjoy with his work. Most guys are really lazy. If you are so disappointed then brake up with him and i'll take him :)

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    • He's really short too, so you can have him

    • lol funny

  • It's Valentine's Day. It means nothing. Ffs what's wrong with people?

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