My boyfriend didn't give me a Valentine's Day present. Does this mean he doesn't love me?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months and he didn't give me anything for Valentine's Day. We hung out and watched a movie, but it didn't feel any different from our other dates. Should I be worried that he doesn't love me as much as I love him?


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  • I wouldn't think too much of it. I been going out with my boyfriend since middle of October, we were best friends for months before then, knew each other but only vaguely for years before that and it turns out he fancied me ever since senior school where we met 5 years ago.

    He didn't get me a valentines day present and I wasn't sure of getting him anything either. I found out he hates valentines day and tbh, I'm not mad on it myself.

    I don't doubt that he loves me just because he didn't do anything for me on valentines day - He's shown through actions before that he cares about me and from some the things he's said he sounds like he really likes me. If I tell people about some the things he's done and said they usually react by thinking it cute and/or saying he must really love me. The fact he didn't get me anything for valentines day doesn't really worry me. Sure, it would have been kind of nice to have got something from him that I could keep and hold to remind me of him - Maybe a teddy bear or something but it doesn't really bother me too much.

    I may be a bit hurt if he didn't get me anything for my birthday or Christmas though.

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What Guys Said 50

  • It means he's not brainwashed by all the marketing bs for valentines day.

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  • And did you yourself get him anything?

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  • he clearly should steer away from materialistic little princesses and should move on to a queen who deserves him more

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    • NO YOUR WRONG and selfish !!

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    • @LilWeezey Noone said a gift means love its the thought that counts and bringing in name calling isn't what this forum is about.. Re-think your language and then MAYBE someone will take you seriously

    • @anaej
      No thanks. I can speak how I want.
      And clearly gifts mean love.
      Otherwise his company would have been good enough

  • No it means he doesn't believe in commercialism.

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  • I would have to say that no, it does not mean that he does not love you. It means that he is not a sucker. That he does not fall for the Hallmark and diamond industry hype. He should be showing his love for you every day, not just one or two special days a year. If you are truly stuck on his "failure" to purchase something for you as a sign of his love, that would mean that you are materialistic. Materialism does not equal romance. Not does it equal love.

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  • Seriously? You've only been together 4 months and you didn't even give him a gift either. I struggle over whether to give a Christmas gift after dating for two months and your worried that he doesn't love you by the 4th month of your relationship? Love isn't instantaneous for everyone.

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    • I was surprised when i got a gift last vday after being with my guy for only 2 months.
      Granted it was tea stuff from teavana.
      I wasn't expectinf anything
      I even told him i was like "i only got you a card. I wasn't expecting a gift"
      he's like "its ok"

    • @LilWeezey

      OOOOO, Teavana, He LOVES you!

    • @gray_sailor

      Lol yea. Teavana is expensive as all hell

  • Gifts don't mean love, don't equate them. If he spent time with you isn't that enough?

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  • Dump him he hates you.

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  • good for him. Women never give V day (also known as bullshit holiday day)
    so they don't realize how much the prices of those precious flowers and cards and chocolate get jacked up. If you need a day, celebrate it 2 weeks before of after.
    or here is a thought, don't let the card industry tell you when you should love your partner.

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  • Are you legitimately spergtarded? 25-29 and still worrying about fake holidays created to sell cards and jewellery.

    No, it does not mean he doesn't love you. He shows you that every day, he doesn't need to buy you something to prove it. Maybe it means he doesn't agree with the idea of Valentine's day, maybe he didn't have a lot of money, maybe he doesn't see the point of exchanging gifts with a person he's intending to share everything with anyway. There are a lot of possibilities, but him not loving you is way, way down at the bottom.

    If you got him nothing, then you can hardly complain. Either way stop acting like a child...

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    • I'm glad someone noticed the age lol. & in 4 months, she expects love? Come on, now. I never liked people saying "I love you" too soon lol. I swear, these people on here are either pretending to be older than they really are, or they're living under barricaded rocks. This isn't the only childish "older" woman I've seen on here. Did you see the one where the 30ish year old said men hate her because she's pretty, & they hate every pretty woman? Ugh. Lol...

  • It means he's a real man, and doesn't believe in a hallmark, commercialized for suckers holiday. I'm all about the romance with my wife, but we both believe that Valentine's Day is basically an overly priced, idiotic, look at me, restaurant enforced $100 meals, chocolates that usually doesn't get eaten, teddy Bears that sit in the corner for years (or become dog toys), making singles hate themselves, and usually ends up in masturbation or she owes me one sex type of holiday.

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  • maybe he just doesn't like being expected to make corporations richer by guilt leverage? why do women think men have to do anything for something as silly as an arbitrary holiday to kiss aft ends. if you really cared about him you would be dissuading him from doing something so stupid as falling for that brain washing.

    hint; the universe is not about women.

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  • Why do women always relate love with personal items or possessions?

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    • Not all of us do.
      But then again i grew up a tomboy...

    • @LilWeezey I don't either, love is shown through actions, not material goods. Also funnily enough, I am a bit of a tomboy too lol

  • Perhaps he can't afford it right now... does he treat you to other things when it is not Valentine's Day?

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  • You've only been dating for four months, maybe he doesn't want to rush into things or maybe he was apprehensive about overdoing it at such an early stage in your relationship. I think that you should reserve judgement until your bday. Hopefully he will spoil you rotten, if not then maybe he isn't serious about you.

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  • It's only 4 months, it's not the end of the world. At 4 months you're not much worried about love yet. How old are you? I'm guessing teens. Does he have a job to buy you a gift? He could have at least gotten a card in my opinion. Just be patient.

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  • You should be worried if he turns off his phone and ignored you completely on Valentine's Day. Also, if you expect something special *communicate*! Don't expect him to read your mind. Lastly, if getting gifts helps you feel appreciated (nothing wrong with that), then pay it forward to him as well. Do something special for him. Relationships are not a one way.

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  • for sure he is cheating on your with his dog.

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  • Just because you've been brainwashed into being materialistic, doesn't mean he has to be too. Where are f***ing downvotes when you need them?

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  • 4 months... way too early to be using the L-word for a start, IMHO.

    But no, it just means he doesn't believe in this commercialised holiday.

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  • Valentines day is a corporate holiday. that sucker people into buying things to "prove" their love. Your boyfriend is'n't a sheep.

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  • This is a womans Holiday and if he can't afford or won't buy you things then you are less valuable to him Dump him and run. Men should buy women things all the time not just Valentines Day

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  • Maybe he's just a fucktard.

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  • Do material possessions define the love of a person?

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  • Yea he thinks your disgusting... I mean what guy on earth wouldn't BUY HIS GIRL THE WORLD? Your dumb AF for thinkin he EVER loved you.. Sorry

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  • Maybe he thought just doing what's working is fine. Why does he HAVE to get guy a present, you know!

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  • Valentines day is shit!! It's a day where you two should be spending more time with each other and enjoying it.. And not expecting to get any expensive gift or something...
    Man you girls are so materialistic!

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  • Look, my ex girlfriend really had a hard time with gifts aswell; she found it particularly hard to pick something that would make me happy, and thought that I'd like nothing she bought me when it's essentially the thought that matters. Gifting is a two way street, you give and you receive; if you didn't get him any present in the first place, why do you feel that he was obliged to get you something in return?

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  • Why would you think someone loves you less just because they didn't buy you something. Money can't buy real love.

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  • In my personal opinion, Valentine's day should just like be any other day. Why expect more on just this day? This way, every time you meet, you will expect something more than the previous time. And then one day, this poor lad will die under pressure.
    Hot tip - Confess all this to him instead of looking for answers here. Will make much more sense and your guy will know what to do about it.

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What Girls Said 52

  • Meh, me and my partner have been together for four years. He doesn't get me anything for Valentine's. I don't consider it a big deal.

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  • No. Do you think your relationship should be defined by what he buys you or spends on you? Did you do anything for him or made any indication that this was a holiday you wanted to celebrate? Should you be worried if he loves you because he didn't actively participate in a commercialized holiday used to guilt couples into spending money to fake relationship stability?
    If you're unsure, just ask him. "Honey, you didn't buy me a Valentine's Day present or made the mandated romantic gesture as per tradition for this sacred day. Do you not love me as much as I love you?"

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  • I hate to say it, but this is why people have a negative view on Valentines day. Because of the way they portray it, it gives the impress that Valentines day is a make or break moment for a couples relationship and that's simply not true. I mean, if you were hoping he would get you something and you're disappointed in that. That's fine, you're entitled to that feeling. However, having to question whether he loves you or not just because he didn't buy something, is wrong. Maybe he thinks spending time with you is a better way to show he cares, than buying you a gift and being on his merry way. You spent time together, that should tell you something. So, no you don't have to worry because it's just one day of the year. The rest of the days of the year and how you treat each other and what you do to show each other you care, that's what matters. Not, one day of the year or not getting a gift on that day.

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  • Okay well first I'm going back to say a lot of men are going to be offended because you're upset he didn't 'give you anything'. but I can tell you more rightly mean he didn't even bother to take you to a low end restaurant and give you a card at the least.

    4 months and ignoring the day is shady. It may just be an eye opener for you that this isn't a relationship. Does he EVER take you to dinner? Does he take you out in public, have you met his friends? In the morning does he leave right away or do you have breakfast/ go to brunch?

    Either way it sounds like he wants this to go no where. The poorest of the pot with the best intentions would at least buy you a single rose or something to acknowledge the day. But what did you plan to do for him?

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    • Lol seriously? Its only been 4 months..

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    • @LilWeezey Within 2 months I moved in with my partner I've been with for 3 years... It doesn't take that long to know someone. We would have lived together sooner if we could have.

      Granted we did talk 12 hours a day every day lol

    • @Mekkalyn
      Again knowing someone.
      Loving someone has nothing to do with showering people with gifts.

      I knew I had some hella strong feelings for my boyfriend after 4 months. But never for any holiday did I expect him to get me a gift.
      I still dont and its been a year.

      Love =/= gifts

  • in my case, my man knows that i don't expect a v-day gift~ it's a hallmark holiday and way too close to my birthday, so i don't expect him to get me a bunch of overpriced stuff just because consumerism says he's a bad person if he doesn't.

    (i got him a card with a chocolate bar inside, just because i wanted to; he even shared the chocolate with me~ he had already gotten me a beautiful game of thrones colouring book and new pencil crayons for my birthday, so we went to see deadpool on the 13th and just spent a quiet v-day in, enjoying each other's company).

    in your case, you've only been together for 4 months; it's likely too early in the relationship to know if or not you guys are "in love" and he's taking things slow. i never give anyone a gift for anything unless 1) it's been more than a year, and 2) i know the person well enough to pick out something s/he likes ( i only broke rule #1 once, because of #2); maybe he's the same way.

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  • Listen. First off, you should never let this be the way to decide whether or not your boyfriend loves you as much as you do... as others have mentioned, that's materialistic and superficial. However, you should adjust your behavior if you want him to adjust his.
    Meaning, if you're scared for any reason at all that he's not as interested as you, then you need to take a look at what you've done for him so far. If you've been giving more than recieving, then you need to stop giving as much, and vice versa.

    I hate to sound offensive, but it sounds like you're expecting way too much out of a guy and that you very insecure and needy. Even if he does love you, exhibiting insecurities is one of the fastest ways to lose a relationship.

    With that said, realize what he did do for you. He took out his time to see you and hang out, right? Well, I'd say he loves you.

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  • I've been seeing my boyfriend since October.

    He volunteered to work that night.

    We went to brunch, but otherwise, it was just a regular Sunday.

    I hate when guys make these grand gestures, that they feel forced to make.. just because of what day it is.

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  • No, it doesn't. If you wanted to celebrate valentines day you should've let him know that you want something special if you didn't say anything it's not up to your boyfriend to read your mind. It really depends on what you want in your relationship, did you do anything for him for valentines day?

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  • Given your age I would like to think you had more sense. But oh well.

    Have you spoken about your feelings on this day? Perhaps he doesn't celebrate it.
    Is he low on cash? Another reason not to celebrate.
    What did you get him? Anything?
    Are you official? As in others know about you?
    Are you 17 years old? And really? This question? Jesus.

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  • What did you get him for Valentine's Day?

    It's a day to celebrate love. And last time I checked, there are typically two people in love, not just one.

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  • Valentine's in the US is a mutual giving "holiday." If you didn't do anything for him, then you don't have much to say. Though if you do want Valentine's to be special next year, then talk about it together and decide whether it will be a gift giving day for the both you.

    Now if he didn't do anything for your birthday, that's a different story. Especially if you always did something for him.

    I'm only saying that because my birthday is on Valentine's Day. Lucky me.

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  • No, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He could just value other simple things over gifts. My guy friend wrote about what a relationship should look like and he said that the couple should never feel like they need to give one another anything but love. I thought that was really sweet and so true so maybe your guy thinks the same. Look at how he treats you instead. Is he kind and caring? Does he seem to value time with you? If so he does love you a lot. If you feel like he doesn't care or doesn't make time for you then that's when you should start questioning his feelings. If this really upset you though you should maybe talk to him about it. Otherwise it could build up into something larger because of miscommunication.

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  • Ya he clearly hates ur fucking guts

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  • I won't say he doesn't love you. Valentine's Day gets more hype than is needed. Its all just a big scam to get you to spend money that you dont have on chocolates, cards and flowers which you can get any other day. He may not have the money to spend on you but he did at least spend the day and watched a movie and it still counts for something. Dont be quick to look at money, look at his actions and how he treats you..

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  • He should have done something special for you if he cared about you.

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  • What did you get him?

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  • nah! It means he doesn't celebrate that stuff.

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  • Some don't care about Valentine's day. I personally don't, if I am in a relationship or not. It's just a day like any other and I don't need an excuse to show I love him every fay or get him something because I felt like it. Ask him about it... and then tell him it means something to you. Did you get him anything?

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  • Some people have other ways to show you that they love you besides, getting Cards, candy and flowers. Maybe Ask him why he didn’t give you anything and maybe he will tell you. Also some of the things cost a lot, especially on Valentine’s day.

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  • Id take spending time with him and watching a movie a present enough, dont get worked up over nothing. Maybe he just doesn't have money to spend on a gift, and just because its valentines day doesn't mean he HAS to buy you something. id be happy with spending time with my boyfriend... some people are just unappreciative...

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  • Did you give him something?

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  • Not really... you could just ask him about it if you are worried about it

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  • Well he shouldve gotten you something. But maybe he didn't get around to it. Or maybe he just wanted to spend valentines with you and he thought that was enough. Could be lots of reasons. Definitely doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

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  • Well, you didn't give him a gift either, so quit your whining.

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  • Yes be worried and LEAVE HIM ! He isn't worth a DAMN if he doesn't recognize you and Valentines day being the most romantic holiday of the year! It isn't the price that matters its the thought... ANYTHING is better then NOTHING ! Even a hand written note is sufficient !!

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    • You sound incredibly bitter.

      Are you single by any chance? It sure seems like it.

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    • @Kirah NO I am not bitter or single just seasoned and have been around the block my little 25 year old child !

    • All the bitter and all the offended.
      Lol be the grown up that you are and dont get so easily hurt.

  • No, don't worry :) Maybe he just couldn't afford anything or maybe he places more importance on the time you guys spend together. And to be fair it is more important :)

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  • I wouldn't be so worried about it. So he didn't go over the top for an overrated holiday, doesn't mean a thing dear

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  • Of course he doesn't love you! It's only been four months.

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  • Maybe he wasn't ready, or maybe he doesn't think you love him as much as he loves you. Maybe 👀 who knows.

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  • What else does he do? Does he act loving?

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