I've never felt so hurt by a guy.. help:(?

Im just going to start off by saying that typing this out makes me realize just how retarded this situation is and ill get over it but for the time being i feel hurt confused and angry. Im 18 and the guys 34. Weve been friends for two years and the entire time their was a mutual attraction but he had a girlfriend. Now prior to meeting him i had only hookups no long term relationships or dating experiences. I've always gotten myself into situations where the guy acted unfairly towards me and basically i was left with the pieces of what couldve been and i was always played. When i moved for college we kept in touch and we exchanged nudes and sexted often. The entire time he was in a relationship and i was being dragged along. I liked him so much to the point where i overlooked all negative aspects of his personalality and i let him do this. I tried multiple times to cut it off like the entire friendship and move on while i could without getting hurt and he literally always talked me back into the friendship. Fast forward awhile he's still in a relationship dragging me along as someone to comfort him when he's lonely but never gives a shit because it was a stupid arrangement. I did a lot for him i sent him postcards supported him from afar always replied to his texts. Versus he left most of my texts with no reply would go through phases of one week being on my dick next week acting like were just friends. Now today i asked him what we were just friends or more and he said we are friends with a mutual attraction... dont tell me you got yourself a boyfriend? I replied its none of your business and you shouldn't drag girls along in the future (after saying were just friends ok). No text back. I texted one last time saying that i know he doesn't give a shit about how i felt the entire time he was dragging me along since we started talking but it feels like flaming shit and this entire thing is retarded. Instead of letting me down easy you could have just said it u could have

Updates:
Just realized i didn't post this on anon but i dont give a shit anymore. Last part of the question was admit it you think this is stupid. Anyways he texted me back an hour late saying im sorry it had to come to this but im deleting your number and im not going to contact you anymore. I dont know what i did wrong. Im currently fucking crying

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Two possibilities:

    - he's a piece of crap manipulating a young girl
    - he's a normal guy in an unhappy relationship who met someone distant in age and space who he connected with and the idea of you made him happier, but he never believed it could happen.

    Maybe the truth is in between, or something else.

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    • Just spent the last ten minutes bawling my eyes out in my college bathroom. All i know is i feel like an idiot and ill never talk to him again.

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    • Ill probably meet someone and in the future ill make sure they aren't the type of person to act unfaithful while in a committed relationship (strike one) or leave me feeling like a bag of shit everytime they dont respond to my text. I really do feel much better with him completely gone from my life, like i think i just wanted to be whatever he wanted me to be so the second possibility is probably true. I dont think I've ever felt more like myself since knowing him than today... despite any past feeling I've had for him i need to be with someone who is fair to me and isn't selfish.

    • Yes to all of that :)

      It's natural when we're not experienced to think 'how can i get this person to like me'?

      The right question is 'how can i find and connect and have a good relationship with someone who likes me and i like them'?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry you're going through this, guys can really be asses sometimes. It seems like you're in a "situationship", not a friendship, and it'll only continue so long as you let it. Honestly, you shouldn't even want to deal with this guy because he sounds like a cheating manipulator. He knows what he's doing, and has learned what to say to you to make you stick around and deal with his nonsense. Don't let him hold all the cards like that, girl.

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    • He just texted me back and said hey honey sorry it had to come to this but im deleting your number from your phone and im not going to contact you anymore so dont worry about it. I feel like crying my fucking eyes out right now i really liked him

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    • Thank you i feel like going home and crying about it for a week and than moving on with my life. He didn't deserve as much as i gave him and i was so sweet to him it was just ridiculous. Im sure he won't come back to rekindle anything as he made it blatantly clear he won't be contacting me ever again but its all for the better. At least i didn't sleep with this lowlife and still have my dignity.

    • no problem :) I know this is a painful thing, but take it as a learning experience. Take the things that hurt you and you disliked with him and apply it to your next guy, so that this won't happen again.

What Guys Said 5

  • He didn't hurt you, you hurt yourself. You knew you was in a relationship, you know that he was older and yet you still got involved with him. He played games with you, didn't answer your text but yet you still involved with him

    You believed what you wanted to believe. Have you ended it with him yet?

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    • Yeah I have and it's a learning experience. Oh well. I just wanted to eventually end up with him as there is more than what I'm sharing. When if was good, it was really one of the healthiest relationships in my life like when I was still in the same state with him. I'm not longer pursuing ANY man in a relationship as it was stupid but I'm young and shit happens. I'm really doing much better since this friendship has ended.

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    • Sorry for typos I was typing quickly. And that's how I felt when I ended it, that what he wanted was unfair. He wanted to still keep me around (knowing I was infatuated) text me every once in awhile something flirty, than when I visited we could just have casual sex every couple of years or so. Basically I was just something to distract from his unhealthy relationship and something to numb his mind. I really did want a relationship with him too... Despite how he treated me. Like I wanted to be more and I probably would've given him that if that's what he wanted but he made it clear that he didn't or he was in reality just playing games for a piece of ass. You can't date someone like that, and that's why it needed to be ended. Friends don't even treat eachother like that... It's just unfair what he dragged me through. ///end rant. Thank you for your advice.

    • But yes he did hurt me. I made the mistake of believing that he would be fair towards me and stuck around but yeah you get it

  • I would end the friendship period, I would tell him to no longer contact you. If he continues to then change your number. Exchanging nude pics was a bad idea. Stop all communication with this guy, feelings are good but can be misleading. Don't let him convince you of anything including a guilt trip.

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    • The friendship is over and I feel much happier that he's no longer dragging me along. Thanks for the advice. He probably won't contact me either but I deleted his number and am done being played with. I really just wanted him to be fair and either leave his girlfriend... But obviously that wouldn't happen so yeah here I am

  • Hey you will be alright and what you will realize is it was best it ended now because he didn't really care about you. You are still young and you have plenty of time to learn, dont feel stupid a lot of people did the same thing when they were 18. Cheer up :)

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  • "Let not the testimony of women be admitted... on account of the levity of their sex"

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    • I've derived no wisdom from this quote but alright. All i know is i feel so hurt right now i really cared about him

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    • lol not trolling, having fun yeah, but man, i really dont like women i swear, they screwed up my life especially my ex girlfriend, she is with another guy now, life's been bad since then

    • So you come to my question and go on a retarded tangent about how much you hate wonen because some girl fucked you over? You have obvious trust issues. Do you hate your mom? No. This is why ill never understand dipshit woman haters your mother should beat your dumbass. Im not even a feminist either which is hilarious i dont go around acting better than another person because im a chick versus you two dipshita are seriously here proclaiming that woman are subcreatures and you are above all woman. Have fun sucking eachothers cocks ✋

  • You sound like a damaged sloot.

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    • The funny thing is im not. Yes i have my fair share of issues but i haven't had sex in a long long time and truly if you met me youd probably consider me a prude or old fashioned. I just decided that i never want any guy to make me feel empty the next morning and make me feeel like dirty. you're all pricks and it true. You want a piece of meat thats it

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    • Never mind jet pack. I just responded to a disgusting comment of yours on another post and realize you are a huge troll, so I won't entertain this conversation further.

    • @HollyK21 Not my fault you can't handle the truth.

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