Is it okay that my boyfriend never pays for any of my meals when we're on a date?

The first time we went out he told me he was supposed to pay as the guy but I said let's split. We are both students so I don't feel comfortable with you paying alone. Eversince then he hasn't even paid for a single cup of coffee of mine while I have done so on numerous occasions. I kinda feel like he might be cheap... Is this normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not normal. Somehow, he didn't understand the word "split". Ask him if he's having money troubles. And if he isn't, then you should start just paying for yourself. If he bitches about it, then remind him that you two agreed on splitting the bills. Yeah, it sounds like he's being cheap. He should at least pay for his own.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say it's pretty normal. You guys are both students so similar expenses, namely tuition. Probably similar incomes for now as well.

    Why should the guy still be expected to pay, or at least every time, if girls want equality? You realize that that tradition comes from times when women weren't legally able to work, and so were 100% dependent on their man to be the main/only breadwinner.

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What Guys Said 11

  • I think he should pay for yours sometimes, because you sometimes pay for his.
    it's a bit cheap, because your the only one treating.
    It is normal, everyone has different financial situation, or maybe he needs to save up his money for something else.

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  • welcome to the new age.

    women are more powerful but less loyal, more capable but self serving, make the same money but demand to be treated, screams equality but you can't find a feminist in a sinking ship

    this is how men adapted to the shitty deal we get dating you guys.

    i pay for my dates but i also think its fucked up. ALL THESE GIRLS ARE KNOWN TO SAVE THEIR MONEY DATING DIFFERENT MEN FOR A FREE MEAL WHILE SAVING UP FOR DOWNPAYMENT ON A MORTGAGE.

    BIG CITY PRETTY GIRL HUSTLE

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  • Totally normal, your expenses are your responsibility.

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    • You didn't even read the explanation... Wow thanks for nothing

    • Well, are you saying you paid HIS coffee, or your OWN coffee?

      If his coffee, then just don't pay his coffee.

  • No, it not normal. A date probably cost like 40-70 that like a day work. If he cannot do that then he no man to hang around with. He is probably around 30 and can't treat a women you kidding me?

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  • At the very least he should at least offer to pay for his own.

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  • he very much knows that he hasn't given back the favour, and as a man i would pay for yours on the first date then split it from then. I think it shows he is unfair and takes advantage of good people.

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  • HAHAHAHAHAHA He got you good!

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  • He doesn't have to pay for you.
    he just has to pay for himself.

    Should he wipe your @ss too?

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    • The last thing I need is advice from a teenager...

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    • You're showing ignorance

    • If you're going to dismiss something simply because of the age of the source, don't come to GAG and ask for advice. Ask your friggin dad. I was going to say something but I guess I should just leave you to squirm.

  • Yepp, welcome to the 21st century.

    Feminists have demanded that girls being treated equal as guys; and now we guys are doing it... and yet we get sh*t for it. We just can't win against this 18th century mentality all too many women still possess

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  • You said lets split. The first date sets the standard for the entire relationship. You chose this. If you feel as if he should be paying, then tell him he should be paying like you told him you should split it. What kind of crazy bitch are you?

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    • I'm just saying that at the very least he could invite me once as I have done so, many times. What kind of cheap ass attitude is that? Are you stupid by any chance?

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    • You are wrong. I only came to realize he has never even offered, when I paid him my share of the bill the other day and he didn't have any change. So he took the money and didn't even give me the rest back. I was like wth! He takes the money and doesn't even offer me a coffee like ever. I don't know how that would make you feel but as I am nowhere near rich I feel like he is cheap!

    • Then *tell him that*. Explain how it makes you feel, to him, the person who needs to know most. Is it okay to us? Who cares? We are irrelevant to your situation. The only thing that matters is if it is "okay" to you.

  • Looks like he took it to far and now taking advantage

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What Girls Said 8

  • Okay, if you've paid for like all of his stuff and he's never paid for you, he's a total freeloader and you should dump him lol. (or at least talk to him about it!)

    I don't think it's right to let one person pay all the time. Take turns, split it at least, just be equal. That's fair.

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  • He seems like he might be a pincher. But even pinchers go out of their way to buy something for the ones they love. He could be selfish and enjoying the fact you are paying for everything. I say go out to eat and when the check comes say I didn't bring cash and see what he does. But bring cash just in case though. Talk to him about it in a way that doesn't hurt his manhood.

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  • You could get separate bills.
    Or since you're both students - you could go grocery shopping and split the bill. Cooking yourself is usually cheaper than going out.

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  • You set the standard at the first meeting. Its not normal. But you offered to pay and continue to pat so it has become the norm in your relationship

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  • Same thing happens with me girl. I feel like I'm wining and dining my guy all the time. I'm going to try just not pulling out my credit card next time and see if he offers at all haha!

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  • Sounds like he's taking advantage of your kindness.

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  • No. Not okay. Stop dating him. And if he can't afford to take you out he should cook for you.

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  • It's normal, I prefer splitting the bill. But you are paying for his cup of coffee on occasion and he never even offers at least once in a while? That's a bit disappointing.

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