Girls: How Would You Like to Be Approached by a Guy?

If you're at a random place and a somewhat attractive guy who seemed interesting asks you out for coffee would you mind it or get weirded out (this is mostly towards 16-20 year olds since I'm 18)

Guys, how have you successfully gotten dates, where did you go and what did you say?

I also really need help talking to a girl when she's with her friends. How would girls like to be approached in this situation (excluding those of you who don't like to be approached at all)? I really don't have a choice since my classes are online, gotta find girls someplease you know..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a long paragraph but just read it and you'll understand

    Okay, so the thing is, with most girls aged 16-20 (I'm 15 but I have older friends who have basically the same ideas as me which we talk about all the time), they have grown up reading and watching all these hopelessly romantic love stories like The Fault In Our Stars, Twilight, High School Musical and an abundance of Leonardo DiCaprio films, to then find out that in fact, most guys at their schools were not like Augustus, Edward, Troy or any of Leo's characters and they don't just come up to you or say sweet things when they like you. Instead they just ignore you even though all their friends come and tell you he likes you and when your friends ask him, he admits it so you get weirded out because you start to notice that he looks at you weirdly in the corridor and you now know why but he's never acted upon it before so you just presume he's weird and awkward and you just decide your not going to bother with him because all these love stories you know involve guys who are so in love with this girl and no one else and you would prefer someone like guys in the movies rather than a guy who doesn't seem very interested because you presume he probably has other girls which just gets too confusing if you were to get involved and you start comparing yourself to these girls who you never did before and decide how could he possibly like you when these girls are so perfect and you just want to dig a hole somewhere far away and stay there. I know this might sound a bit extreme but this is what goes on in many teen girl brains and its what a lot of us use to distract ourselves from the massive amount of work we have at school so we find ourselves thinking about if a lot. Anyway, so we figure that its easier to hold out for some guy who likes us and only us which is why lots of guys who try to play it off and act cool get shut down.

    Soooo, no matter how corny some pick-up lines such as "Hey you probably get this a lot but you're actually really pretty, would you want to go get coffee?" Girls, including myself, find them pretty sweet to here. It sounds REALLY cringe worthy but its flattering and it's how things start in a ton of movies. Plus the sweeter the first meeting, the more likely the girl is to tell ALL of her friends, that's just what's going to happen. Also, you should go straight away if you're not busy and ask if she wants to grab lunch together because then she has less time to

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    • Continuing
      she has less time to think about it (which girls do A LOT) and back out of it. It gives a good first impression of someone who goes on impulse and makes her think you really wanted to to get to know her. Maybe you did, but even so it gives a better impression with her and all her friends too.

      If you followed this train of thought that I had whilst wildly procrastinating doing my food tech coursework that I wish I had never taken as an option because for the past year and a half I've worked on a 25 A3 page project about sausage rolls and my deadlines in less than a month but here I am so please appreciate the effort I'm putting into this rather than my Food GCSE

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    • how would I interact with the group though? I don't really know how to make small talk ahah. I have no problem in going up to a girl and straight-up telling her she's attractive and asking her out, I've done it before (granted, I've been rejected, which is why I wanted to know if girls actually liked it or not), but not knowing how to interact with her friends is the one reason why I'm always anxious to approach a group with girls, because I'm not good at improv so I can't just randomly say things ahah

    • You don't have to talk to them a lot, just smile at them a bit and say hi back or answer back if they ask you something. It's okay to just focus on her, it will show your interest. Her friends will notice if you keep looking at her and diverting your attention onto her, girls notice that sort of thing A LOT. I'm not saying boys don't but whenever I talk to the guy I'm talking to at the moment in the corridor, I get my friends to stand a bit away because they watch everything he does if they're stood there and it's a bit awkward. I'm pretty sure it's because my friend group has nothing better to do though. Just as long as you make an impression of being polite and just generally a nice person, they'll like you. Her friends won't care if you don't try to make a big conversation with them because it's not them you're there for.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The key to dating, is to maximize your exposure to women. To maximize your exposure to women, the key is to GET OUT THE HOUSE as much as you can.

    For example, if you exercise/work out at home, join a gym or exercise outdoors (ex. at a public pool, at a local park or field, etc).

    If your hobbies are usually solitary, look at the local park and recreation department at your city and find clubs and classes to join that either coincide with your hobby, or interest you in general.

    Instead of kicking it at home, having an alcoholic drink or two (or three!) and watching TV or sports, go out to a local bar / restaurant and sit at the open seating bar area.

    -----

    Most important of all, when you are out and about, make sure to TALK to people. Small talk may seem pointless but it is a very valuable tool to get conversations started. Especially with women, if one is friendly, personable and not pushy, she will talk. :)

    It is easy to get stuck in a rut of taking online classes, exercising at home, watching tv/movies or playing video games, talking to friends online, then going to sleep. BREAK this solitary monotony and get out there in the world!

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What Girls Said 25

  • I prefer when the guy makes conversation first. Start it out casual, let it blossom, slip in a compliment, tell me I seem interesting and pretty and THEN ask me for my number so we can talk and then make plans for a date. If you come up to me like: "Hi. You're cute. Number please?" I'll probably say no because there was no real effort put into that.

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    • this is why your single

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    • @redeyemindtricks No, you don't need to check their profiles. Just analyse their behaviour, gesture and intentions.

      Start reporting negative posts after reading posting guidelines. They'll (admins) contact you after getting impressed OR send a message there :-
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../messages

      Good luck :)

    • I'm actually single by choice, @jamesdegod, I have not had a single issue being asked out. In fact, it's been happening left and right as of late.

  • Girls want the guy to approach them and make the first move. Confidence! If she's interested, she'll say yes.

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    • Thanks, but assuming the guy is confident what do you want him to say when approaching you? Would you like the guy to cut the shit and tell you his honest intentions so you could get to know each other at a more convenient time at a cafe or something or just talk for a while about random things and then getting her number without establishing any interest?

    • Start with some small talk. Keep it short and sweet. Then just ask her out with a planned call or a set date/time.

  • approaching is okay, however you want it to be, it can be cliche or one of a kind and the girl will appreciate it. The thing is, when a guy approaches a girl the first thing that comes to (my) mind is he could be a player or "too stranger".

    When you approach a girl, try to be relax and talk to her casually and say things that you really mean to say and not just made up compliment. It is important to establish trust and have a conversation when the situation allows it. Also, take into consideration if she is in a hurry or not when you approach. Lastly, smile and look friendly :)

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  • in the case of seriously shy girls like me, just walking up to me and talking is more than enough. But having with you is always a plus in my case, I get pretty hyper when there are animals around.

    I hate small talk, I prefer conversations about cool, weird or traumatic experiences. But I'd be quite happy just hearing the guy talk some nonsense, I don't even mind if he farts or burps, coz I do a lot of that at home. But I'll get pretty annoyed if a guy diverts his attention away from me (like looking or talking to some other girl), but I won't make a big deal unless he starts getting physical.

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  • If I was with friends, I'd probably be more calm if approached by a stranger. If I was by myself I would probably be more on edge

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    • huh, never really thought about it that way. that's great then!

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    • @redeyemindtricks I gamble on the safe side.

    • @FilthyPervert what she's saying actually makes a lot of sense, and since when does being "safe" get any man anywhere haha

  • If they're going to compliment me nothing sexual. If they use terms to say attractive I think "pretty" is my favorite because it's kind of a childish term I find endearing and I don't think most dbags like to use such kitty words since they usually stick with things like "hot" or "sexy" which make me very apprehensive.

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  • 16 y/os though? You could go to jail for that lmao.
    But I think you should just try to create a causal convo about something you can both obviously relate to. e. g. if you're on a train/bus maybe talk to her about how busy it is and kind of move on from there? If she's interested she might give proper answers if her answers are just short, end it.

    If she's with her friends, you just need to be really brave and say something like "I saw you from (...) and just wanted to say you're (...) can I (...)?" You don't even need to act over confident, just act like yourself.

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  • I wouldn't feel weirded out even if I wasn't interested, after all, all he did was ask me out for a coffee.

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  • Just be nice and friendly and casual. See how she reacts, If she responds continue and have a little chat with her. Just to get to know her a little because personally I'm a little hesitant about going out with people I met randomly because I don't know if they're dangerous. Even if I'm attracted I'm cautious

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  • If a guy were to approach me while I was out, I would just want him to be himself. He doesn't need to compliment me, just come up and strike a conversation. Don't be shy, but also try not to come across as a creeper.

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  • I wouldn't mind. It'd be nice if he started up some small chat first though. If I'm with friends and a guy comes up to me to talk I wouldn't mind as well as long as he's polite and not oggling my other friends as well.

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  • 1. Smile ( if I smile back then I give you the green light)
    2. Think of some ridiculous question just to strike up a conversation
    3. If I reciprocate then the deal is almost sealed ( or just friendly, watch my body language)
    4. Ask for my digits

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  • I would love to have a guy approach me at, say, a coffee shop and talk to me pleasantly. as long as he's not being weird or creepy or like he just wants to get in my pants, I would be happy.

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  • I'll mention one,, I was 15 A Russian on Hajj Camp gave me a wink and I melted lol as easy as that

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    • The guy gave you a wink while on Hajj in Makkah? I thought people go there to only focus on God...

    • @DBAOracle it was his problem he made me blush you can find your true love from Hajj Islam is not against pure love

  • Just be like "Hi!"

    If we are at a stage when we hug, go for a hug. Just be normal!
    Granted you ARE going to me the subject matter when you walk away; however, if she likes you, her friends' teasing will help you; if she doesn't like you...

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  • How about... I would NOT like to be approached by a guy. Like ever. I would like to go out in public alone without some man trying to pick me up. Men, just please don't approach a women unless she approaches you.

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    • Problem now is... None of you ever do that. Like in the history of ever excluding very isolated cases.

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    • @Cusco_Othriyas no, the problem with this is that she is telling guys not to approach women, just because she specifically doesn't like to be approached which i don't need to tell you why that doesn't make sense. everybody thinks their way is the right way lol

      personally i have had women approach me but even if i haven't i'd say you 'd be doing yourself an injustice by not approaching women because you'd be potentially missing out on some really great girls. another reason you should is it because it presents you with much more options. no reason to be hung up over one girl when you can go out and pick up a hot girl anytime you want

    • You don't sound like a fun person.

  • I definitely wouldn't be weirded out, I would be flattered.

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  • Im 18 too. Best way is to act friendly and interested, just being a nice person. The same way Id like a girl who wants to be friends with to approach me. Introduce yourself, have a little chat and try to keep the amount of talking balanced (noone dominating the conversation) and be genuinly interested in her. After breaking the ice, you can get more flirty. Best way to ask her out: I think you're a really nice girl/I think you're really cute and would like to get to know you better. Would you like to go get some coffee some time?
    Keep it simple, positive and honest.

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  • Umm, a friendly meeting like a simple hello, how are you etc and then ask for a number maybe and after y'all text or talk for a bit you could aske her on a a date

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  • Hey sugar tits or maybe damn gurl with that ass you are invited to take a shit at my house.
    I'm sure you will get a girl in no time with these advices!

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  • Personally, i wouldn't get weirded out, i think its kind of sweet. it really depends on the girl you're approaching, we aren't all the same.

    stop overthinking things, as cheesy as it sounds you really just need to be yourself. if you just ask other people how to approach women then you're not being you, instead you're just following what others say.

    maybe think to yourself, if it was the other way round how would you like to be approached?

    as long as you're not creepy and seem interested enough then you should be good to go. Make sure you be yourself and try to be confident, but not too confident, you really dont want to appear arrogant.

    good luck:)

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  • I think, for me at least, I'd like to have a longer introduction for someone to randomly ask me out at a coffee shop. Like, introduce yourself, name and some basic info and explain nicely why and stuff, instead of just asking me out with no context whatsoever.

    As for talking to a girl within a group of girls, in my opinion, I'd be embarrassed if I were the girl, and I think the dude would be embarrassed too. I mean, if that happens so publicly, with your friends, no less, they're sure to joke and poke and prod you about it, which can get kinda annoying and make the girl feel bad. But there are girls who don't mind that kinda thing.

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  • No, I don't know what you do for a living, how much money you make, what college you went to, if you have any STDS so I would be weirded out. And you want to get to know me just cuz u think i'm cute hell no

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  • I always find it cute when a guy comes up to me and starts a conversation with a flirty pick up line. Yes it's cheesy but you laugh and it starts a conversation.

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  • If you've some of those "pranksters" on YouTube and how they approach girls with confidence that would most probably work. I know some stuff is fake but most of the realistic things they say like complimenting girls or being honest or cracking a joke or just saying straight up I found you attractive or interesting I wanna get to know you more, those kind of things may work. I like thatwasepic YouTube approach to be more realistic and something girls may like. Also when you use humor be witty that's something women love don't be too forward or use inappropriate jokes or cuss that's a big no no. Just try a decent convo with witty humor that would def work on me lol. Also Pay attention to women's body language try to mimic hers. (Google chameleon effect)

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    • That is set up with a very specific group of people. It's not random at all, that I can assure you

    • Yeh I know most of them are fake but if a guy uses his wittiness and sense of humor to start a convo with a girl and be as honest as possible then he would most likely get her number at least. you can first introduce yourself your name where you from and then tell her you found her attractive and maybe you can get to know her over coffee etc. simple thing like that could work if she was attracted to you too.

What Guys Said 12

  • In a dark alley, preferably from behind, his strong over-bearing arms locking over mine and firmly - yet ever so gently - dragging me away, letting me take in his scent as...
    ... Sorry, lost my train of thought there.

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  • This will help out, it's written related to the gym, but has points applicable elsewhere too:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22973-how-to-approach-women-at-the-gym

    good luck!

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  • Don't straight forwardly ask a girl phone number before getting to know her, you're probably watching too much youtube pickup videos. Get to know her, build attraction; comfort. Let her qualify herself, if she's interested, she will talk a lot, and then you invite her for instant coffee date.

    What did we say? Just make it casual, fun flirty as you can. But make genuine connection sometime otherwise she will think u as a player.

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  • Watch hitch by will Smith. Pay close attention to those lesson given in the movie. They are so true and right. Its not some crazy pick up line or how you look. Watch the scene carefully when he took the girl away from crow. He really demonstrate what he saying. If you really get the message from will Smith on girls, you saved yourself a lot trouble.

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  • I never really bother doing it as I just get the impression most girls get sick of guys coming up to them and I think it looks a bit needy. I'll go out enjoy myself and if I spot a girl making long eye contact or smiling at me then ill approach. You need to read there signals as opposed to just approaching them all when you feel like it.

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    • What if you never get signals from attractive girls? There's no Chou e but to approach

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    • I'd say most guys would get a signal from some girls at one point during the night. Yeah there is nothing wrong with trying, you've nothing to lose. I'm just saying I'm more successful when I enjoy myself and don't think about girls than I would be if I went out looking for them. I think girls like a challenge and would rather try and attract the attention of a man that wasn't engrossed with her..

    • Unless she was very attracted to him ofc

  • Depends if guy is tall jacked athletic like me or just go there and initiate normal convo lol

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  • Bars. I go to bars and lie a lot. 80% of the time, it works all the time.

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    • Where the first lie is a fake id? lol

    • @redeyemindtricks Yup. Well, it's a real ID, but it just isn't mine.

      Fun story about how it came into my hands. Last year me and a few other people decided to sneak into a club. Anyway we saw this dude who looked a bit like me. He got asked for ID at the bar, and put it down on the bar to pay for his drink. Then forgot it. At which point I walked over and sleight-of-handed it away. Free fake ID FTW... :D

    • hahaha nice one! now, he is the who has no id. xD

  • I'LL EXPRESS THIS VERY EASILY
    IT'S NOT HOW IT WHO

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  • i go up and ask girls when the last time they got rimmed... sometimes i get slapped sometimes they grab my hand and take me away and we play

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  • For the love of God, don't be passive aggressive... indirect. Yeah just go up to them and start a conversation with a stranger and that works, ok yeah.😏

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  • never ask women that stuff/ learn game by other successful men... .

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  • yup, the way the mating game works apparently.

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